For example, someone I respect, someone who would never knowingly kill a spider, wasn't concerned about immigrants crossing the Rio Grande and being torn up by concertina wire. How do I debate such an issue? It is infused with deeply ingrained values, on both sides. I don't enjoy the inevitable tussle such a discussion would entail.
I understand where you're coming from here, but at the end of the day, I think it is imperative that we debate such issues and try to be as respectful as we can while doing so (and yes, that is also difficult when people's lives are being discussed). But if we don't, people are going to keep getting torn up.
That said, I don't think it is worth it to debate everyone. At some point I occasionally come to the conclusion that I can't persuade a particular person for one reason or another (e.g. their opinions are too deeply entrenched or I don't find them particularly rational). But for most people I think it is usually worth an attempt at least.
You are probably right. I have an issue with conflict--I don't like it, so that interferes with my willingness to debate hotly contested subjects.
I should add, if there is a real challenge, something that must be done, fought for, I can do that. I have done that. I'm a good ally in a tight spot. But arguing, it I just don't enjoy it.