Yeah, I have been terribly absent from Hive for the last few months. Not sure how it began, I think it was when I had a health decline back in September or October. Then there was some family and financial challenges, and close deth in the family.
All just excuses for me to fall back into the black hole of isolation. Once again walling myself off from the world, offline and online,
When I started this account I wanted to write to be a form of therapy for me. As I look back at my posts, life was starting to be enjoyable again and the climb out of the black hole was succeeding. Then it all just stopped. I allowed the black hole to suck me back in.
How did this happen? What would cause me to regress after all this work? Why would I go silent on people in my life?
These are some of the questions I struggle with this early morning as I sit here typing this. No explaination comes to mind right now, only that my badly wired brain tells me that I am weak and just need to pull up the ole' boot straps and get on with it.
I mean I have so much to get out and live for. Friends of mine have had their lives cut short for various reasons, so I should be wanting to live the best life I can for not only me, but for them as well.
i am not sure what comes next, but I do know that this is a step. I know there is a problem, I've acknowledged it, now I just need to figure out how to beat it for good. For now, I am just pulling up the boot straps and talking it through with Bailey girl (my dog), and spewing it out here.
More to follow.
Note: Image is my own taken with an iPhone SE
One day at a time, buddy. Just remember we all enjoy reading your posts and interacting with you on here
Yep, one step at a time really. It has been refreshing to be back on here interacting with others. It has motivated me to schedule a breakfast with a couple people offline as well.
Sounds great! I hope that goes well, and I hope to see more of you around here. I'm pulling back from Discord a little. Nothing bad. I just waste far too much time there. So I'll be looking for your posts more on here.
Well, if I don't catch you on DIscord, I will definitely catch you on here.
A listening dog is maybe even better than hive ;). But writing-of misery (big or small) can help too! Take care Joe.
She is a great listener and a great friend. Not sure what I would do without her. Yes, writing this does seem ti help organize my thoughts. Thanks for the well wishes. Hope all is well over your way.
Maybe it is like an addiction - there is security in it, familiarity - even if it doesn't lead to the best outcomes. The good thing is, there is no failure, just a chance every day to try again.
Yes, I think it does have something to do with being secure. I will chew on the addiction part as that seems to have pulled a thread in my brain that I want to chase down.
Glad to see you back. I know what you mean about writing being therapeutic. It definitely works for me. Seeking professional help if you need it is never a bad thing either though. I know it's not always accessible or affordable though.
Thanks for the welcome back. I am lucky enough to that I get to see a counselor and doc through the VA. But honestly, it is on me right now just to get right. I have all the resources and knowledge at my fingertips, just need to put them to use.
Well good luck with that! They say the first step is usually the hardest one!
It's great to see you back Joe! That black hole of isolation is tough to escape, but getting back into writing is a great step. If nothing else it helps me keep my mind busy. Dogs are great therapy too! I hope to hear some more from you soon brother.
Thanks, and it is good to see you as well!
Yeah this isolation is a weird draw to it once you are in its crasp. Not sure why I am drawn to it, but I plan to explore this more and hope others with some critical thinking skills can help me come up with some answers as well. My counselor sure hasn't helped much so far, nor has the doc. They want to blame it on PTSD, depression and throw drugs at it.
My dog has been great for therapy. She is a great listener :-)
You should see much more of me. Take care...so good to see you here still.
Your words really hit home for me. It's a constant battle, but you're not alone in this. Keep sharing your thoughts and remember that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness
It is a constant battle, at least for me as of the last 3 years.
Thanks for stopping by and hope we can dialogue more to assit each other in the future.
Sure things buddy
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