‘The Horrors of Kwiksave’ is a candid recollection of my memories working at Kwiksave (the now-defunct discount supermarket chain) as a 'Stock Lad'.
I wasted over FOUR years of my life in this maggot-infested hellhole and still occasionally wake up drenched in sweat after enduring a nightmare in which I am working there still.
Some of the names have been slightly changed simply to save my arse in case anyone takes offence at some of the details regarding my facts or opinions.
Many of the people mentioned are now dead as this happened so long ago, but their siblings are not.
This is the 'HIVE Special Edition' of a multi-part autobiographical story (with a little over-embellishment on some of the details) I posted on STEEM over 5 years ago.
It contains a LOT more detail and content than the original and will fill in many gaps that were missed the first time around.
Chapter One: A Prelude to the Best Job in the Land
Chapter Two: The Job Centre
Chapter Three: The Interview
Chapter Four: Christmas is Coming
Chapter Five: The Changing of the Blades
Chapter Six: The Staff
Chapter Seven: The Auxiliary Staff and The Load
Chapter Eight: The Sugar Maniac
Chapter Nine: The Accusation and "Big Lad"
Chapter Ten: Naggy
Chapter Eleven: Shit & Noise
Chapter Twelve: The Death of Mort
Chapter Thirteen: The Time of Many Managers
Chapter Fourteen: The Calm before the Storm
Chapter Fifteen: David Dire
Chapter Sixteen: Bad Totty
Chapter Seventeen: Tracy, The Wild One
Chapter Eighteen: 'Buff-It-up'
Chapter Nineteen: The Demise of Ian Banks
Chapter Twenty: The Date (Part One)
Chapter Twenty One: The Date (Part Two)
Chapter Twenty Two: Dire's Lunge
Chapter Twenty Three: 'Eggy-Poos'
Chapter Twenty Four: Adele, The Hot Minx
Chapter Twenty Five: Last Christmas
Chapter Twenty Six: 'No Gawping!'
'WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE BELOW'
"You should come and work with Mum and David; it's better pay and you will never get anywhere working there"
“Mum and David”, her brother worked at a local slipper factory, a place that always seemed even worse than the supermarkets but was it really?
Wise words from Barbara, my girlfriend at the time which in time I would listen to, but for now life had to go on as a shelf-stacker changing my blades and humping boxes around.
Source
...'Kwiksave stores were usually hosted in old Cinema's or Bingo halls. It was rare to see them as 'new' shops and my branch was no different'...
… and nothing was improving, in fact, things were gradually getting worse, a trait I have noticed at many a job over the years. Little things were starting to irk me, such as the checkout girls constantly gawping when bored.
Let me explain. There were certain times when the store was quiet, almost empty besides Welder and me filling the shelves. A large pallet would be partly blocking an aisle while we slaves slit open the boxes and stuck them on the shelves.
A lone checkout girl would be waiting for the few customers to process and in the meantime get extremely bored. They couldn't get up, exercise, and even scratching their arses could have earned a verbal warning.
We as stock lads were the only moving item so they ended up furtively gawping, in a semi-daze zombie state while trying to keep awake.
‘Girl’ the non-subject of Welder’s lustful desires, and certified company dunce was especially annoying as was Barbara before she had left Kwiksave.
Source
...'If only 'Girl' was anywhere near the 'hotness quality' of this 'Gawper' I would not have minded at all'...
“Hoy…”
‘Huh’.., said ‘Girl’ shaking her head distracted; spots of drool splattered the nearby floor which I pretended to not notice.
“NO GAWPING”, I said, opening my eyes to their fullest extent, giving her a hard penetrating stare…, ...‘DON’T GAWP”…, “NO GAWPING”...
As I mentioned in a previous chapter, ‘Girl’ was almost incapable of human speech and simply followed up with an embarrassed laugh, straightened herself up, and pretended to stare at some nearby bog rolls for a few seconds.
Did she understand my request? I would like to think so but as ‘Girl’ boasted an IQ barely cracking 50 I wasn’t so sure.
“She’s got the hots for you dude, she wants your pungent cock”, I whispered to Welder who was also unloading this particular biscuit pallet. I received a withering look in return which turned into an uneven grin.
Although Welder was now the Dire’s ‘favoured one’, I didn’t hold it against him and we were still comrades at heart.
Source
...'Was Girl attracted to Welder or even me (shudder). That masculine, 'unwashed in years' look could well have been attractive to the resident female buffoon?'...
Even Welder with his extremely low bar shag bar would not entertain this freaky weird specimen.
The gawping would continue after a few minutes unabated, and after several rinses and repeats, I had to concede defeat. I was going to be gawped at, and there was fuck all I could do.
I heard through the company grapevine that my balding, fat cunt of a boss had recently bought an Amstrad CPC-464 for his younger son's birthday. The information could have come from 'Doug the Thug', the standout normal person in the Dire family, but my memory fails me.
Dire knew that I was the resident computer geek even then, and could have asked my advice before buying what was considered a ‘joke computer’ in those times.
Source
...'it might have looked impressive but it was seriously underpowered compared to it's peers from that time. Owning one was information to be left in the closet'...
I didn’t know anybody who had contemplated buying an Amstrad, never mind going ahead with the witless plan. In later years, Amstrad would buy Sinclair and the +2 model would look very similar to the CPC-464.
By 1985, this was seriously old hat and a laughable mistake. If fat chops would have asked me, I would have told him to buy a Commodore 64, or an Atari 800XL even if I did detest the googly-eyed twat.
...'owning one of these in 1985 had special benefits, especially if you knew 'Yours Truly'...'
… and good luck with the games, you're going to have to buy them all, which was something strictly against my immoral pirating 1985 ideology.
Some checkout operators left and others replaced them, but other than Sue Banks I can’t recall their names. Sue was related to Ian Banks, the same stock lad that had jam and eggs dumped over his head and had left rather hurriedly.
Sue was a different character altogether. For one, she looked astonishingly like Kim Wilde. This was the mid 80’s and Kim Wilde was a babe.
Source
...'Kim Wilde was hot property in 1985, and having a clone working in this decrepit supermarket brightened up our day no end'...
Of course, I was a taken man at this point but Welder did try it on at one point and was hastily rebuffed.
'You can't expect a chick of that quality to want your dick", I said to Welder one day after he came shuffling into the back shop looking forlorn.
“What about that geeky chick you were shagging?”
“We split up”, he said wistfully not wanting to elaborate. I didn’t push him.
Source
...'I never did find out why Welder split with his geeky girl. Did she ask him to take a bath and was rebuked?'...
Sue was in a different league, but not so much that she was unapproachable. I remember chatting with her on numerous occasions. Maybe she didn’t see me as a threat?
I was still a long-haired hippy with a large dose of 70s written all over my visage. That would change, but not for another year.
To be continued...
Cover Picture is a combination of free sources from here and here, combined and edited with Luminar 4. Any unsourced images are my own. Some images produced using Bing AI.
- Earn currency while you play brewing virtual beer with CryptoBrewMaster
- Earn currency while you play and become a global Rock Star with Rising Star
pungent cock
Hahaha, awesome 😀
I would always happily take a gawping!
If the outside stench was bad, you know inside the clothes would be much worse.., yeuch..., the gawping.., I still remember it with little fondness. It made you... self-aware.
That reminds me of the folk that worked in the mill in my first job. They wore the same work clothes all week for hard labour. Many of them had a bath on a Sunday like kids. Fetid just about covers it!
I feel for you, working in those stores somehow we wanted to paycheck but hell the work was well questionable. Boss leering over your shoulder common problem, KwikSave never stimulated much except hormones by the sound of it.
Never fear I tried the shoe store, grannies coming in to have foot measurements taken tried a pair or two then walked out huffing and puffing about the price, no sale after slogging over smelly old foot syndrome! You bet I feel for young you....
!BEER
If I was thrown into Kwiksave (December 1980) again with hindsight, I couldn't have changed much. What I do now didn't exist then. It was a shitty time to be in the workplace, and hormones were all we mindless lads had then. Some of us knew more about soap than others.
Doubt the soap story changed much over the years, some still do not know it was invented! We did what we had to, thinking back sometimes (many times) simply slog for a buck or two.
I am still in touch with Welder but daren't send these stories his way, he might get a little upset with me, though it's almost all true.
Definitely don't want them reading your memories from back then. Although they may agree with you over a beer and have a good laugh, just make sure his wife isn't around.
Couldn't even paint a nail, the checkout girl? ;) Didn't know you had this series.
There's little legs in this one, its been going on for 4 years. One more to wrap it up, but it's not my only series.
Cool. 👏
Good (I guess) to know that not much was different across the pond. I was the bagger girl instead of the stock lad, but many of the details sound similar. Main difference, I guess, is that the chain I worked for is still around, and just got bigger and badder over the years.
!PIZZA
'bagger'.. I remember that term from my living stint in the US. Here supermarkets are sadly just as bad as they used to be, for working I mean. @bingbabe works in one.
You always use nice photos to describe your Post Content...
I had an experience to work at local LED bulb manufacturers company where they only pay me about $70 per month without any off day even on weekends...
Those were the toughest days of my life...
That is bad pay..., during these times I was on around £50 a week, that not quite $70 but not far off. We had days off, and didn't work Sundays.
The baddest thing was the pay, Surviving with $70 for a month was very very tough, and still no one can survive with less then $200 of pay per month...
But here in Pakistan the basic salary of a person is about $130 (with Sundays off).
Sometimes we need experience like that to appreciate where we are now, i had the same experience in 2016 working at a store in Benin City Nigeria and was probably the lowest I have ever been.
I had 4 and a half years of it; it was this, or unemployment, or the factory. Today's world is very different.
View or trade
BEER.Hey @slobberchops, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Did you know that <a href='https://dcity.io/cityyou can use BEER at dCity game to buy cards to rule the world.
Hmmmm, serious situation
Wait Slobber did you say maggot infested... Damn man how'd you deal with that type of 💩
Wow, I was really entertained by your post, what a great story, thank you for sharing
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@willendorfia(2/15) tipped @slobberchops
Congratulations @slobberchops! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next payout target is 150000 HP.
The unit is Hive Power equivalent because post and comment rewards can be split into HP and HBD
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out our last posts: