Like I would always say, life is simple, we humans are the ones who complicate it.
Photo by Srinivasan Venkataraman
For the past few months or about a year now, I've been noticing this change in the way I interact and behave towards people, some of which I have documented over here. Well yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that just sort of really showed me how much I've grown during the years.
Yesterday, a lady friend was telling me about this male friend of hers (he's definitely more than a friend to her but nothing official) she was having this kinda silent beef with. I call it a silent beef because they ain't really beefing but they ain't talking like they used to either, due to something she had seen on his phone that got her angry and jealous, although she never would admit to being jealous.
So when she opened up to me yesterday, probably expecting me to take her side, I told her what I felt was the honest truth, which was for her to approach him and try to talk things out with him. If at the end of the day, his response isn't as satisfying as she expects, she can easily walk away. That to me is a far more better and matured way to handle situations like this rather than to result to snubbing each other and keeping malice like children.
I then went further to use myself as an example, telling her stories about the time when I used to act like she was doing now, I was quick to keep malice even on situations that easily could have been trashed out with simple conversations. Then I had rounded it up by telling her that there really isn't enough time in this world for us to waste it bearing grudges against one another.
Yes we can't be friends with everyone, but if there's one thing we can do or should do, it is to try to make peace and if they happen to be people who don't want peace, then walk away from them, just don't have any hate in your heart. Always try to be happy even though we can't be happy all the time, but try. At this age, it just feels like malice are for kids and that there's nothing that can't be squashed out through conversations and dialogues unless you or the other party involved just want to be difficult and act like little children.
Hopefully my advise helps her in handling the situation and things go back to the way it used to be for her because I know for a fact that she was happy then and she misses that happiness even though her ego wouldn't let her admit to it.
Fact, actually. You be sage. She probably doesn't realise that the guy may have been confused all along as she never mentioned anything and changed her behaviour. Best to talk things out effectively and then make decisions afterwards or something. Beef doesn't help.
Ever since I got to understand how powerful talking things out is, I get surprised not a lot of people go down that route.. Most just wanna beef and have bad blood everywhere.
She never admit that person is more than a friend and again she is jealous. That's interesting. But I think your suggestion was the best suggestion and I would suggest her the same if I were in your place.
Hehehe.. I didn't need her admitting that she has feelings for the guy. I told her I knew already and that it really was none of my business... All I was interested in was her talking things out with him.