"Presenting Alien Art Hive Waifu!!!"
(Hey there sexy boy!)
This might be my last thing i draw for a while
I haven't been active for the past few weeks because of issues at home. My deteriorating health, parental abuse, awful living conditions and much more.
Instead of making a series of post, i just decided to cram the call for help within my 1st unofficial hive waifu music video.
Im not sure if i will get the strength or mental stability to write and finish this post.
I have exhausted all of my options and currently living with my aunt
Im currently staying with her as of now, but i only have a few days left before im forced to go back at my father's house. But i guess we should get to how i made the animation first.
I hope your read until the end, especially the part about my current situation.
(ART)
Alien Art Hive Waifu!
She's a class 2EZ galactic space ranger that serves our venerable alien overlord! JPF! After scouring the milky way for decades in search of the most beautiful stars, she has decided to take a break from all those epic adventures to focus on her dream ever since she was a nymph.
TO BECOME A IDOL STAR!
Before i started drawing, i was thinking of what alien references should i include to make this drawing feel more like a Unidentified Fine-Art Object or UFO.
Initially when thinking of what to draw and looked at the stuff being submitted on the Alien Art Hive community, all looked super cool. Especially the Splashes of color and very unorthodox designs.
My imagination led me to thinking of a Flying Saucer + Bee + Barn house cyborg alien.
But after i was flexed on by @jijisaurart with her very beautiful eye focus drawing.
JIJI Art post
So yeah, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i was motivated to create a drawing that could match hers.
However when i checked the contest, MUSIC! AWWWWWW Yessss since i have been practicing a bit of music, perhaps i can create art and a music theme. Similar to what i do with splinterlands social media contest.
Unfortunately, I was only able to finish the art and since college is approaching. More pressure and my freedom is restricted even more. With my mental state a wreck, i couldn't properly get the rhythm to finish the music in time.
Awwwww yeah, those shade be looking epic.
In sharp contrast to my original idea, i turned the monster into the MASCOT WAIFU for Alien Art Hive! Grrrrrrrrrrr hahha i made sure to include some hive references since as well.
Flying Saucer + Bee = Space Helmet.
If you look at her helmet, the base is the typical alien platform of those disk shaped saucers. It was going to be a closed helmet but the shades idea struck me like thunder and it also helps with her looking more alien when its on.
Since i decided for open helmet design, using memory of astronaut. They had those gizmos attached to the helmet, rather than blocky objects. I went with bee like design. BZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Also also, you may not have noticed it. But there is a pollen dispenser on her right shoulder to help pollinate flowers, the dispenser can also use other ammunition to help with other crazy and natural disasters.
And now we get to the goods.
The monster had a barn house body, so i just copy pasted it. But for some reason it turned into this. The cloak resembles the roof and the bra looks like the barn structure thing. Very sturdy indeed.
After the helmet and bra, astronauts have their country of origin attached the to right shoulder in flag form. So i tried to do that as well. HHahaahah
Welp that's it for the OC
Now its background time
In the beginning there was nothing, and then god farted. The cosmos had started to form from these primordial gas clouds. Both the stench and origin is out of this world. Although odd enough, to a human nose its smell resembles that of honey and lavender.
After enough time the gases started to react and form the first few space flakes. The aroma was so strong and sweet, it attracted petal leviathans. Each one was big enough to swallow a Star whole!
On a unspecified date, the galaxy formed and matured giving it a strong orange and fade purple glaze.
Also
For the Music Video, i was trying to capture the MOON! Even better if its a full moon. Unfortunately, its either too dim or it doesn't even appear during night time.
So ehhh, i just drew it. GRRRRRRRRRRR
If you want to check out the files
Go ahead
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1cic460RFiLYd9qfWIgz8qWlbWzcrtDE0?usp=drive_link
(MUSIC)
Program used: Waveform 12
For the past few weeks, i wasn't able to get a hold of a rhythm that i liked. Since i was not in a great mental state, my mind is clouded and creatively crippled.
However, after gaining some fresh air living here with aunt. I managed to recollect my thoughts and finally finish this music piece.
My Primary VST is (Synth1 VST64)
Many of you musicians might recognize this, as its one of the oldest and most reliable music creation tools out there!
After learning about it and practicing for a while, i managed to get a grasp of how it works.
I decided to go with RetroHead Gmulator Vol.1 and 2
So here are the instruments i used
Made using Synthesizer V Studio Basic
Voice of Alien Art Hive Waifu
- Provides some jazz during the heeeey parts
- BRS:Trombone
- The Core music component and sets the tempo
- KEY:Piano Me2 RH
- Provides backup for Piano and aids the tone of the vocals
- KEY:KeyLectric RH
- During the 2nd phase, changes the direction from climbing to decending
- GTR:E Guitar RH
- Sets the beats
- DRM:Melodic Tom RH
So yeah, if you want to snatch just the music or instrumental version. You can check my soundcloud.
Here are zeee files
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Jlfsqs_RlaNc_jsGM8EeP96EWK3WVmSg?usp=drive_link
(Vocals)
Program used: Synthisizer V
As usual we are using Eleanor, because she's the only decent english vocaloid.
Synthisizer V is primarily a Japanese vocaloid.
GRRRRRRRRRRR
I wanna do hatsune miku, but i don't know Japanese. If i use google translate, its going to mean something else. Heh
Not really much to say about this, asides from me adjusting the pitch a bit, that's it.
I mean, C.mon! Look at this.
Im not a voice actor, if anyone out there is. Pls explain
Also this is the script, kewk. I know its horrible. GRRRRRRR
Here are the files
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GmR4ivAmD1jGJd66aKTK7KVfjAGhOl4i?usp=drive_link
Video Editing
Program used: Shotcut
Although the edits may not be that spectacular or cinematic. Grrrrrrrrrr it still took alot of effort to wrap things up nicely. Especially when the test runs were conducted, lets just say there was alot of going back and forth. Especially since what might sound good in paper, decent by itself, but horrible put together.
Typically you would have a animation timeline and a music timeline, the equivalent of that within shotcut is Video/Audio track.
Initially i used just the full music file. However i wanted to clearly see the spikes in the audio so i can align it well with the video clips.
So i split the music into 2, Vocals and Instrumental.
As i was editing it, i wanted to do wherein the black borders would jump up and down following the drums rhythm. So i split it once more.
Now i have 3 music tracks, Vocals/ Instrumentals (No drums)/ Drums only.
Now you might be asking yourself, what is this,
The drums only sound has been turned into a mp4 and is on the video timeline.
You might be asking yourself, WHY!? Its because the effect audio dance visualization can only be applied to video clips with sound already in them.
So i had no choice but to turn the mp3 to mp4.
It does jump to the beat, but but.
Its now blocking the entire screen, i only wanted it to block the borders. I could try creating 2 and putting one on top and another below. However as i was experimenting.
I noticed this.
MASK
AGHHHHHHHH! YESSSS!
For those not familiar with mask it allows you to overlay a video, showing only certain parts you want. After a bit of tinkering, i used operation subtract and just made a rectangle mask within the black wall.
And the rest is history.
There are alot more to it, but its smol details that are either insignificant or program limitations.
Recordings
Used my phone
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, although i had that accident with the dog spammer guy. That doesn't mean i hate dogs, rather i just see it disgusting that someone was doing that sock puppet thing. At least use fantasy siblings or characters in your head. Why impersonate your pets.
So yeah, luv dogs in real life. But for the sake of the contest category lets say Takuri's worst fear are Dogs and abusive father.
In the MV, i patted and shook paws with Blackie *Im not the one who named him. Its my aunt's pet dog. There are a bunch more and PUPS! But they are camera shy so i'll let then have some privacy.
And finally around 5pm, strolling around. I managed to take this sun ray shot. Hhahahah i tried to align it netweem the trees as much as possible. I guess reading photographers like @ewkaw and @stresskiller really helped me grasp certain aspects of photography.
Im thinking of including more IRL content in my animations, not just to save on time and effort. But to explore and try out other methods.
That's all for the Music Video Thanks for reading!
If your still reading this, and i know im just a random digital artist on the internet. So i have to emphasize. Below this point im going to discuss some personal matters that are serious. Im at my breaking point and i don't know what to do anymore.
Im going to give it a shot and ask folks from Hive to read my situation and possibly help me in any form.
My Current Situation
Currently its my 5th day living with my aunt. As you can see im living on the attic storage area.
For the past 5 years i have been living on the floor since moving here. Usually i just sleep on the living room and if there is a room. Its cramp as hell. drawing, creating music, editing and more. After a while it starts to get painful and tiring if im crouching or sitting for too long.
The room im staying in cannot fit a table and the only place i can put this in is on the dining table on the 1st floor. Meaning i have to setup my PC every time. In and out.
But overall the situation is much nicer compared to living with my father.
During Grade 10, 11 and 12. I was sleeping on the living room floor at ground level. Whenever someone would traverse the living room. They might step on me because its dark causing me to wake up and since im in the living room, if someone makes a loud enough sound i will be woken up. Which is horrible when this happens every night for my academic performance.
The only upside i guess it that i had a table.
All of these would have been bearable if not for
Child labor and Abusive Parents
When i was kinder garden, doing house chores and helping with rural life was ok since i liked plants, animals and it was only done in the morning. However ever since moving to Santa Rosa, my living conditions took a nose dive.
These images were taken using Google Maps of which are near where i live.
I moved from a open field rural area, fresh air and nice atmosphere. To this ghetto, cramp alleyways, open canals, drugs, crimes, houses getting damaged and debris falling whenever a level 2-3 tropical storm hits
When i was grade 9, that would have been fine as well. But at this point i was feeling home sick. I wanted to go home, unfortunately our old home and land was sold so that we could live here.
I was like WHAT!?!?!? After some fighting, supposedly it was for us to get a better education. To this day i still think is BS, because were still enrolled on the same public school curriculum. LITERALLY nothing changed about the content. Asides from the quality of the teaching and difficulty with transportation, cost and rules skyrocketed. All three worsened
I had to commute for 30min and spend most of my allowance on transportation alone.
The cost for school requirements and projects are so much, i had to use some of my savings to contribute to the groups.
There was like around 50 of us per class
And don't get me started on City and School Rules.
Like when i first encountered 1 way roads. I was like BRUHHHHH if we just go through there we don't have to go over the entire block.
Example of what my rural life was like
Back in the province
- Around +30 students per classroom
- You can walk to school and all of your classmates/teachers homes
- Clean air and fresh food
- Very Affordable everything!
Welp on my 1st year here living in the city was at rock bottom at i get motion sickness easily, so i go to school dizzy and if i was exhausted at school i would throw up on the commute home.
I wanted to just give up and run away. But my parents assured me that after grade 9 we can go back home.
*I wasn't aware of what happened to our old home at this age.
So in the meantime since my family is struggling i should help the family raise funds.
So throughout grade 9 up to today, my father was coming up with guaranteed money losing ideas and just forcing the responsibility to me and my older brother.
The beginning of why i ran away from home and currently staying at aunt's place.
This photo was taken much later (Grade 11)
But initially it was only around 6 computers. And at first i was enthusiastic about it. Guarding for the entire morning 6am - 12am during weekends is fine. *My older brother covers from 1pm until 7pm closing time.
(2018)
At the time i was 14
My older brother 19 - Electrical Engineer course (UP Diliman)
younger brother 13
Eldest sister 23 - Doctor course
And my father 55
Yess i was born when he was 40yrs old *Foreshadowing.
Currently he is unemployed and my mother is a house wife.
Our only income is the properties of my Grandparents (Mother side) that my parents inherited. Business and alot of agricultural land. My Grandparents (Mother side) were once mayor of the town i lived in so they built up alot of wealth
But ever since i was kinder garden my father is a electrical engineer and my mother had already quit her job to become a house wife. We are a family of 6, looking back i realized my father's job alone could not support us. The majority of the income came from inheritance.
My parents grew up in a very nice setting, in sharp contrast to mine.
When we moved here, a tiny plot of land cost a fortune. Out of all the places, why Laguna
*(One of the most expensive areas to live within the Philippines)
So a huge chunk of money was lost purchasing a home within the Ghetto area. I am clapping right now.
My father couldn't hold a proper job because of his attitude and drinking problem
So around grade 9 for me, he started a computer shop. Sunk more than 100k pesos and gave up after a Year. Instead of attending to it, he dumped the responsibility to me and my older brother.
At this point i wanted to give up on school because its basically impossible. I cannot do group projects and all my weekend time is sunken into the computer shop.
My parents told me that after grade 9, they would close the internet shop. Just to motivate me to finish grade 9. IT WAS ALL LIES.
My older brother dropped out of 4th year UP Diliman, ohh because i dunno. ITS ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS AND HARDEST COLLEGES.
Its like bringing a farm boy into harvard.
After coming home, he got scolded and punished so much it formed as sense of solidarity between us.
"We worked so hard to get you through UP" - My parents
1st of all, my older brother was doing all the school and documents by himself
2nd the money you used to finance him was from inheritance
3rd He wanted to drop out during the 2nd year. But my parents intimated, guilt tripped and told lies to keep him going forward for 3 more years. Until the lies just kept stacking, school difficulty increasing and horrible living conditions.
Of course he would drop out
4th HE WANTED TO DROP OUT BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN, threatening him with not financing his college course and needs because of financial problems is evil, considering my parents had more than enough money + my older brother had a scholarship.
5th Why did you blame my older brother for everything and punish him so severely, because of this my older brother started working out so he couldn't be beat up by my father anymore. *Today he is jacked and doesn't get physically abused no more.
He decided to pursue psychology instead, because he always wanted to become a lawyer. He only picked engineer earlier because of our father's intimidation and forcing of the eldest son to follow the foot-steps of the father.
If your going to force him to become a engineer, at least teach him when he was growing up. You gave him very little and expect the world! WTF
Grade 10
me and my brother would cover each half of the day during weekends when were suppose to be doing assignments or projects. Previously if there was exams or any other important school stuff, the computer shop is closed
*Just do it while guarding the shop while he lays in bed playing boom beach.
"Matanda na ako" = Im too old. DUDE your 56, i see construction workers on the road older than you.
*Note: Me and my older brother would sweep, cook breakfast, clean, mop and basically do all the morning house chores before school and on week ends.
We did this everyday for the past 4 years.
That's on top of my problems living here.
We were facing hardships so it was understandable. NOT!
Whilst me and my older brother were doing everything, my father would be laying around the house doing random projects that cost money and he would hire laborers because he was too old to do the labor intensive part only to drop it later.
My mother was out of the house, either traveling or at malls buying luxury bags, cloths, lipstick, and more.
LITERALLY IF THEY JUST STOP SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT CASH ALL THE TIME.
Grade 11
my 3rd year this was the start of Covid pandemic.
Only 3 years in the city age 17. Total world lockdown and our house was falling apart because the renovations were cheap. Coating rusty bars and decaying would doesn't make it new.
So yeah i could snap at any moment at this point on. Also me and my older brother are now guarding the computer shop full time. Monday to monday no breaks.
We never got compensated
Im still a minor at the time
We have no business permit
*(WTF ARE BUSINESS PERMITS ITS NOT LIKE WERE RUNNING A COMPANY)for more than 365 days or 2,190hrs each, we guarded.
This ain't just some standing and exchanging pesos
Nah
- A good chunk of the users would complain about lag when playing online games
- inserting/dirty rusty coins and complaining why the coin wasn't counted or clogged the coin slot
- Huffing rugby
- Watching adult videos in broad dayligth
- eating and drinking while using the computer
- fighting over who gets to sit on which computer
- Not leaving after the timer runs out
- breaking of mouse, keyboard, coin box, headset
- smoking
- downloading *(Causes the entire net to slow down)
- Downloading viruses
- deleting chrome, firefox and other programs
- changing wallpaper to whoever the user is or naked women
- spitting at monitor
and finally stealing the coins they inserted by damaging the coin box underneath so they could play non-stop and even earn a few pesos by taking them home
Asides from the built in lock, we installed a padlock because they would just break the lock.
After the padlock was installed they targeted the underside to steal pesos.
Its hard to see what happening from far away and there would be accomplices, they would huddle like a group. Pretending to watch a show or youtube video. And just steal pesos 1 at a time.
BRUHHHHHHHHHHHH
They are doing hundreds of pesos worth of damage to steal 1 peso.
I am officially COOCOO
To top it off, my father started adding random additions to the computer shop and yess he bought equipment and dropped out after a month for each one. Spending so much money on it and now its collecting dust.
Also all the drinks and snacks are bought from DALI or Alfa-mart, these are convenience stores. We are not buying that much per trip. Only enough to fit a electric bike. Which only last 1-week before needing another trip.
The prices are expensive and we just adding 1-3 peso per drink which already cost 7-9.
- Drinks
- Snacks
- Gulaman - Tray shapes, Big pot, Gulaman mixing utensils, Topperware, dozens of gulaman packets
- Sago - Plastic Cups, Ice crusher, Ice box, Ice trays,dozens of
Sago mix - Siomai - Steamer, paper platelets, alot of tooth picks, calamansi and soy sauce.
- Spaghetti - lots of pasta and tomato sauce
- Macaroni Spaghetti - Pasta and tomato sauce
- Barbecue - Grill and per-packaged barbecue from Savemore
- Hand sanitizer - Lots of plastic bottles, soap solution and Ethyl Alcohol
- Dish washing solution - Lots of plastic bottles, soap solution and water
- Covid mask reseller - Lots of covid mask
And finally
Grade 12
The 1st semester is fine, but the house chore's father abuse both physical,verbal and psychological. Was too much for me, we had a family fight again wherein i was kicked out of the house.
I had to seek refuge from my relatives and was able to stay there and recover for a while, the biggest issue was that. Most of the stuff that im using like cloths, tooth brush, laptop, phone and everything else was bought by my parents.
So they own it and logically, they can take it away anytime they want. The only thing i bought with my money was the drawing tablet which cost around 10kphp/$178, i used my own money that i saved up since grade 1, farmed monggo beans and raised chickens/pigs.
The visit abuse kept happening so i bought my own phone, cloths, tooth brush, charger, cords, basically replacing everything so that he couldn't take it away.
My own computer (8kphp/$142)(2nd hand)
Phone (2kphp/$36)
And other essentials that cost around 4kphp/ $72
Im broke at this point, for grade 11 and 12. We had no allowance since were not going to school, yet we still guarded.
At the time, i was doing house chores to earn my keep. It was much much better, only around 30min in total and its the basic cleaning, mopping and laundry.
Unlike child labor that consist of 6hrs + School + 2-4hrs of digital art
My 2nd semester of grade 12 felt like i left a black company *(Exploitative company)
Unfortunately after grade 12 i had to return home. And my suffering resumed,.
I was given an ultimatum, either i Guard 6hrs every day and pursue college or just give up on college and guard the internet shop.
I decided on giving up college because I'll just end up repeating because of stress and abuse at home similar to my older brother.
At the time my preferred college course was BS Agriculture, unfortunately all the agriculture colleges are super far-away. Ironically enough there was one near on my old home.
Laguna is known for its industry, there is no space for farming.
Gave up on college
So yeah, for the year 2021. I finished high school with no prospects for college, for 1-year i just guarded the internet shop. Atleast my older brother can focus on college and i don't have as much of a burden.
This was around the time i left hive because i couldn't tolerate the way certain people acted and that there is nothing i could do about it. The way Hive was structured was too alien for me. So i just left after apologizing to hetty rowan.
My Closet room 2m x 3x space + they placed a wardrobe and shoe box so that my parents can say "Puta ka Kailagnan ko ng sapatos!" (Damn you i need my shoes!)
BRUH, if you take out the storage for snacks, ingredients and other clutter outside instead of storing it indoors. We would have so much space!
My only hope is digital art, unlike certain jobs that require you to have a degree. In arts, as long as your skilled enough you will be able to earn money.
I came back home and my living conditions worsened. Factor in the horrible natural disasters i have to endure every few months would have been bearable if not for the ghetto area.
For the year 2022, Around December. I came back to Hive even though i caused a big problem, im really desperate for money.
Surprisingly even though alot of folks only heard about the false story, they still accepted me. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i luv you all!
I did some doodles to the communities i affected and slowly built up my confidence and relationship back to where it was.
Once im big enough, stable and has a following. Then i can resolve this dilemma
As time passes, even though im guarding for 6-8hrs. As long as i can draw im okay with it.
The people i met on hive this year helped me get through some tough times.
Especially @jijisaurart @demotry @solo @zeroooc @ryivhnn and @ewkaw
You guys helped me get through so much even though i had a bad reputation and awful life.
Also it was around a few months ago we started raising ducks
These photo's were from a while ago, they alot bigger now!
But we were already raising dogs
Rip our dog got stuck with a stray
So yeah at my gap year, Raising dogs and ducks was added.
I am don't know what im doing anymore.
Im providing more than my father and the worst part is that, he does all this grand standing and boastful behaivour.
The reason your business is running at all can be traced to a single unpaid employee *(ME) and worst of all he would punish me for doing
1-PESO / $0.018 MISTAKES
1-PESO / $0.018 MISTAKES
Old set of coins
New set of coins
Now if i were to ask you, which set of coins would be easier to distinguish.
I have no idea which galaxy brain politician decided to change the coinage but it was total chaos
Earlier it was fine since the old coins was still circulating.
But the problem worsened as the new coins kept on being used.
The new coins cannot be detected by the coin box, so we had an computer expert come by a calibrate the peso boxes so that it would work with the new and old.
About 1/10 times it wouldn't work
the 25 Centavos (0.25 Peso) sometimes gets registered
Payed alot of money to congifure all 10 computers and my father would purchase the new coin boxes
Even more money was spent, at this point if i ran the math. We were actually losing money on the computer shop, at this point its just a sunken cost fallacy.
All the computers are one for atleast 16hrs a day
On average each computer gets 1-2 hour of use.
Income per day = 100php/$1.78
So much preparation and money spent
Computers 12x = 120kphp/$2135
Acessories 12x = 12kphp/$213.5
Labor and technitian = 2kphp/month ($35.58)
Electricity = 4kphp/month ($71)
Internet = 3kphp/month ($53.37)
Replacing damaged equipment
1 Computer breaks every 2-3 months = 10kphp
1 set of Mouse, keyboard, headset get replaced every month = 1.2kphp
Sunken cost
Around 200kphp = $3558
Monthly net total
Around -10kphp per month on this internet shop.
We could be saving money instead of dumping it all into this abyss
For refference. A Fast food worker typically earns around 8kphp/$142 per month
I have already showed this to him at grade 10. But for some reason he only keeps it to punish us and literally would rather spend alot of money, time and let the devices rust being exposed to the enviroment than just cut his losses.
Sell the stuff to get back atleast 25%
Stop losing alot of money
Your children can focus on school
But nah, lets nose dive to oblivion.
The funny thing is, when the year 2023 rolled around i was just doing my usual stuff of doing 2-task simultaniusly and thinking that this is my life now.
My mother came to me and asked if i wanted to pursue college once more. I agreed on the condition that i don't have to do the 6-8hrs shift no more. That's all i ask, either my father actually takes responsibility and guards the shop or just shut it down.
My paarents promised me that this 47th time its for real! REAL PROMISE THAT WE WOULD FOLLOW THROUGH!
As the months pass by and school application starts.
I handled all the school documents myself
Got a scholarship
Did all the forms
Form 137
Certificate of graduation
Good Morals
Blood test
Urine test
X-ray
2X 1x1 photos
commute by myself
Did the zoom call orientaion and MELT written test exam.
Since agriculture was a nono
I went with my second option Agri business but that was too expensive.
So one of the conditions i bargained for was that if ever im going to resume college. I want Art related course.
So i got Bachelors in Multi Media Arts
Its basically about adobe photoshop and adobe animate and other art related stuff.
My hobbies and everything directly correlates with my college course. LITERALLY just let me do my own thing and i will succeed.
Im like a flower in the garden, just let me be and i will bloom.
I have been doing everything myself, all my parents had to do now was nothing. Just let me be.
When we did the school orientation i showed this to the teachers
They were impressed with my works! Saying that i could already compete with the 4th year students and my skills at using adobe animate could be considered industry level. *(Atleast here in the philippines)
This is a situation where my parents have to do nothing and you can get so much!
Unfortunately i don't know why
Ever since grade 10, my older brother took the path of building muscle so that he couldn't be beat up.
Me i just bowed my head and focused on digital arts, music creations and video editing.
I have reached a level that my teachers reacted as if they found a diamond on the ruff.
But for some reason my parents don't consider my hobbies, passion, the works i poured more than +200hrs on a single animation.
They don't consider it a carreer or anything special. Unless my art is the level of disney, don't even bother. "Kaya mo ba gawin ang mga movies sa telebisyon?"
They are comparing a single 19-yrs old to a Behemoth within the animation industry
No matter what i do they are never satisfied and consider my hobbies equivalent to gaming. "Sayang lang oras mo"
Up until recently my father is still attempting to make me choose electrical engineering, but i already made it clear multiple times.
About a week ago the conversation that led to where i am now. Living at my aunt took place.
My mother went traveling and my Older brother is now living on a boarding house.
We just finished eating and my guarding shift ended a couple hours ago. So im just resting and getting ready to draw, then i got called at the dining table.
My father is acting smug and grandstading that he is such a good father in front of my older sister (Currently a liscensed doctor) the conversation went with to how successful the busniess are and he told her that it was my choice that i picked my current course *(He cannot remember)
After some time, i replied that the business is failing, me and my older brother are doing all the work and my course BMMA was the last choice that i fought for resulting in family fights and me getting kicked out of the house during grade 12.
Father started saying lies on how we only did weekends, but i corrected him on such details.
The final straw for him was that all i asked was either he runs his business himself or just shut it down.
We kept on going back and forth then he basically thretheaned me as were sitting on the table. From any perspective of any normal person. Its clear as day.
But for some reason, my sister is taking this very skewed approach and twisting the narrative.
"Wala kang respecto sa magulang mo!"
...
UMM HELLO!
I have been mentally, physically and verbally abused. Im working 6-8hrs now on this computershop that has been causing me alot of trouble for the past 4yrs.
*Context, my eldest sister is the favorite.
She was given her own condo to live in, she can ask for whatever gifts, make up or beauty products she wants.
A doctorate is one of the most expensive degrees, yet she got it with no problem.
They always listen to her
The cost to raise her was more than all three of us brothers combined
My father started using his life as a teen to show me hard he had to struggle.
If that's how it was, its considered heaven compared to now
YOU HAD A GOOD UPBRINGING WHAT HAPPENED, WHY ARE YOU TREATING YOUR CHILDREN LIKE TRASH
Setting up a illegal vendor on the plaza or market is ILLEGAL
Driving a jeepney without a license and under 18 is SUPER ILLEGAL!
I need to show multiple documents and ID if i want to apply to a job
You cannot drive a pedicab or tricycle without a license its ILLEGAL!
In shark contrast to that, im earning real money through my digital arts
Yet both my father and eldest sister does not belive me even if i show them the money on my account. Unless i turn it into paper in my hands.
That money isn't real???
*In my head i was going insane hearing his fantasies
I calmly spoke and told him about the modern way of doing things and told him that it was illegal.
*Ohh right he is selling camel and malboro (Cigarretes) to minors
As were arguing, sitting on the opposite side of the table. I had to raise my voice a little since im usally quite. While my father was shouting, standing, raising hand and pointing.
For some reason, my older sister is repeating
"Nag bago kana"
"Wala kanang respecto sa magulang mo"
"Hindi ka gumagamit ng opo and po (Showing respect)"
"Ang taas ng boses mo"
"Naligo kana ba?"
"Nag brush teeth kana?"
And then she spouted on how sometimes whenever she comes home, seeing me sleeping on the afternoon and watching animations/listening to music. When i could be helping the house.
*I think my father had been telling her lies all this time.
I was alone, My older brother and mother was far away.
Then my sister started telling us about her stories.
Basically her biography on how awesome she is
- Your classmates are wealthy
- They paid you to do thier assignments for them
- You have all the attention and care while i didn't even get a bed
- Your 8yrs older than me
- Your already earning money, why are you keeping it to yourself and having us work for your luxury.
And then she complained on why i was complaining?
She compared that its cheating that i have a hobby/passion for my career while she doesn't??
And that my hobbies are bad????
I tried to clarify
My hobbies and passion that directly influences my College course, a 1 to 1 correlation of skill set.
IS BAD?!?!?!
Because its conflicting with my Peso net computershop obligation.
WOOOOOOOOOOOW!
At this point im dead inside, im not reacting anymore and just calmly replying after they are done with thier 50-min biography and self-congratulation
The argument continued, and reached a boiling point.
That being the 47th promise that my parents made. Ohh yeah that's a lie as well.
Because excuses such false excuses.
No money
We're too old
At this point age was brought up he is currently 60yrs old.
I asked him what my age was.
He said 18.
I replied with 19
As long as i can remember i was a unwanted child that was born because of a accident.
Even today as im showing my worth, he cannot even remember my birthday, age or full name.
With nothing to say he just kicked me out of the house.
"Layas ka na!"
"Hindi kita anak"
"Demonyo ka"
These are the things he said to me througout my stay there.
After hearing "Layas ka na!"
My legs just started moving and i walked away.
I ran to my aunt and after some going back and forth to retrieve my devices and items that i bought with my own money.
Because he would throw away or destroy them if im not around.
Ohh wow, how could my expensive drawing tablet end up on the dirt outside. HMMMMMMM
Fortunately i selected a very sturdy one. Unlike the made in china materials and tools he used.
Ohh wow my cellphone that i bought with my own money is hidden inside of your drawer. HMMMMMMMMMM
Ohh wow the computer power cord is missing. HMMMMM
So yeah that's how i ended up here
Currently under any circumstances, i don't ever want to go back anymore.
Its too much for me, i cannot eat, sleep or do my hobbies properly
I think if i go back, i'll just commit suicide
Currently i have been calculating how much it would cost to live by myself
I have been checking finding possible places to live.
Managed to find some apartment that are far away and where i can finally start living my life
I have estimated that
Rent will cost 3k-6kphp per month ($54-$108)
Food and utilities $3-$6 a day / ($90-$180)
Furniture and other cost will just be added lator on
But Shelter and consumptions cost are whats needed for now.
I will need to earn atleast $144 a month. That is doable but the problem is.
I only have around 3kphp left, i spent most of my money on the devices i need and programs i used. At the time, i thought that what my parents promises tis time were real. And if i improve my art enough, they will recognize me.
Alas it didn't work, and i already spent a good chunk of my money last time i was kicked out of the house
I wasn't able to consistently do splinterlands contest or post that much because of the stress and issues at home. Especially when my devices would be taken away for days.
Even though i bought it with my own money.
Currently if your reading this, im begging anyone to comission me at a reduced rate. I will draw anything, i really need the money only having less than a week left before my aunt is forced to hand me back.
*I might get kicked out of the house before i finish the comission. I will continue and finish it once i find a place to live.
I don't want to ever go back and live at my father's house. PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!
Having alredy exhausted my living options. I have been jumping from relative to relative, but my parents are tracking me down and coercing my cousins to had me over.
Knowing now that the my only options are going back at father's house or living on the streets. At this point they want me to live on the streets for a few days and reflect on how its much better getting abused by your parents than living on the streets.
I can comission you on art what about the other media's?
Music: Im too mentally damaged to produce any note worthy music, i won't be able to catch the rhythm
Video editing: Will take too much time going back and forth)
Vocaloid: Same thing with music, i cannot focus on music if im panicking
Animation: I can make it but only if its a GIF or Anime but it will cost a substancial amount ($50 Starting)
Animated Music Video: I can create 1, but it will take alot of time and effort (Alot of $$$)
On top of my 3kphp i need to raise atleast 10kphp or around ($178) to be safe for a month or 2
If i run away now with only 3k in hand, im not sure if it will even last me until the end of the month.
Im going to be contacting some folks in discord.
I currently reside in Santa City, Laguna
If you live nearby and willing to help, pls dm me or comment here.
I need help moving and possibly a place to stay for a few days once i get kicked out again.
This is my 5th year living in the city
I don't know what to do anymore
This is too much stress for me to handle
Im 19
Living like this is insane pls help!
I can do chores while im staying for a few days. Traveling to the apartments that im choosing from are super far away and all of my equipment like the desktop computer are very heavy for me to carry a distance of kilometers.
This is takuri, im afraid of my parents, area, sleeping on the streets and insects that crawl on me as i sleep on the floor
im super desperate.
Dunno what to do anymore, as im writing this it feels as if im screaming to the void. But it worth a shot.
I wanna become a digital artist! That's my passion, its the life i want. Im okay spending years living in a boarding house with other people as long as i can persue my dream.
I just need enough money to start moving. I'll be doing part time jobs and full time hive once i get to live on my own.
Creating animations and doing Hive related art such as the Hive Waifu's or Drawings of certain people is where i find fun and good social interactions.
Making my own animated movie, mangga, comic and creating 3d stuff. I wanna do all those as well!
But why was i cursed with such a predicament
I have tried so hard, yet my life is full of horrible things.
Please, if your still reading this. I really need help.
OMG 😭 😭 😭 this is fucked up takuri. Literally crying right now. 😢😢😢 I'm out of words, just tears. Just seeing your living condition plus the abuses... My heart sank. 😢
I'm happy that I'm one of the people that somehow brightens your day. I can't believe your parents will said that to you. They should be the one helping and nourishing you. Omg nasa labas pa naman ako huhu. I am just a DM away if you need someone to talk to.
UWU ty so much
also how did you read it so fast. its
I read twice faster with my spy eyes
HAHAHA 😆
Your normal eyes and the Sights of a apex predator that existed during the dino era.
The dino hat!
Sorry to hear about this, I know life is hard but just keep on working for your goal. Kapit lng!
Thankyou po! GRRRRRRR TAKURI SURVIVE!
Awww, I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through 😔
Hang in there, Takuri!
TAKURI WILL SURVIVE!
haba pa naman ng kwento and reply sayo gamit ung phone ko tas di pala na send. haha
anyway takuri, bro, kapatid cheer up naalala ko sarili ko sayo, mag 30 na ako next year pero unsuccessful parin sa buhay still chasing my dream to be a professional artist or at least succesful artist, And at some point sa story mo eh nakakarelate ako. Pero ang masasabi ko nalang sayo eh keep it up, cheer up and alam ko someday matatagumpayan mo yan because you are brave!
honestly na amaze ako dun sa simple and short animation mo pero mahirap un alam ko, gusto ko matutunan un pero di kaya ng mga devices ko masyado ng luma, anyway kung need mo kausap dito lang kami you can DM me or mention mo ko sa ArtPark makikinig ako.
Gambarre Takuri kun!
Hehe, ty po!
I lost track of word count. Grrrrr takuri survive!
Hoping everything gets patched up. Keep doing what you love, survive and come out stronger.
UWU ty so much!
TAKURI WILL SURVIVE
Look, let me say a few things (some of them you may not want to hear):
Focus on saving money, getting a sustainable/stable income, and improving your skillset for the future. The journey through art is unique. There are many paths to success, but rest assured that there are many people out there chasing the same dream, with an ever limiting marketshare available (I'm sure AI is eating some of this right now).
The world does not owe us a thing, even when we're in the worst positions. The world will not give anything for free. The world is totally unfair. However, it can be a beautiful place. Stay away from the negative thoughts. Especially the ones that may lead you to hurt yourself. I cope with this by staying busy. You can get through this, but it's probably not going to be easy or fun.
Good luck with everything.
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