Breaking News: Steel Cage To Be Erected for Hivefest 9

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It was announced this week that the well known city of Split , Croatia will host this years Hivefest 9 after a meticulous tender process which saw countries send large delegations to Hive HQ to bid for the famous event. The Croatians pipped it in the end over the Venezuelan delegation after Goran Ivanisevic made a rousing speech that sealed it for the city of Split, Croatia.

Hivefest 9 is announcing something major this year and we have the inside scoop on what is going on. Split by name , split by nature is the hidden theme of Hivefest 9 and a steel cage is being erected in the city square for the event that will happen this September 10th -15th. I know what you are saying. How can Hivefest take up 5 days when feck all is happening on the blockchain. But Hivefest will have you know that there are plenty of projects going on on the blockchain which will take 5 days to go through. So what better way to spend your holidays than listening to some IT guy who has been sitting on his arse for the entire year persuade you that the 100.000 HBD the DHF gave him was worth the exclamation mark inserted on the website's front end. A couple of nice looking PowerPoint presentations explaining an average developers hourly rates in the likes of Switzerland and Norway will have them eating out of their hands again for another few years.

But the organisers of Hivefest 9 are men and women of the people and have their finger on the pulse. They are socially aware that there is growing disgruntlement on the blockchain about how decentralised we really are and also over the exorbitant funding that some projects are getting from the DHF fund. They are aware as well that a few beefs have to be sorted for the chain to progress. They picked the country of Croatia because of its lax laws of steel cage deathmatches and for this reason why Croatia got the edge. Goran was only a folly. A steel cage will being erected in August to sort out the beefs among the Hive users to sort out their squabbles.

Arguments about who to hire to erect the steel cage are already underway and DHF proposal of 250,000 HBD is already proposed to carry out this contract with the argument that to transport the cage from Venezuela to Croatia will take up half the cost of the funding. A total of 5 Hive whales voted yes to this funding so it is deemed legitimate and ready to go. The average cost of erecting a steel cage is $300,000 in Davos so we are getting a good deal here. Flights and accommodation for the crew of 50 Venezuelans to build the cage will be on a separate DHF proposal.

The timetable for the fights are already underway but there is a twist. The Hivians fighting have to fight to the death and the winner takes the other Hiveian's HP. Sources are reporting that Hive researchers are trying to on cover what name Hive @haejin changed to so they can set up a type of WrestleMania scenario with @berniesaunders. A "Coming out of Retirement" pitch even that would see Hive and Steem users attend the event bringing thousands to the 2nd biggest city in Croatia.

There are also rumoured to be a deathmatch with the Valueplan gang who are trimming some fat due to the abuse they are getting from the normalies to put the rally drivers into a cage with the Street Gym Bunnies who make up the majority of the Valueplan funding. The winner will take all the funding so it is going to be an even bigger rally car for the boys or golden Gym bars for the street workout crew. It will be a highly anticipated match up. The masses have a agreed that they are OK with one of the two projects being funded and they will stop the outcry after the match. It is hard to know who will win however. The reaction rate of the rally car drivers to avoid the hard punches and street guile of the gym street work out community. It is a match up we would not be betting on.

A poll will be launched in June around the matches that you would like to see on here. Ned Scott is being wined and dined for one matchup but Ned doesn't need the money and he is afraid his hair will get ruffled so negotiations are difficult. But it is unknown who Ned will fight seeing that Hive is decentralised now and there is no real figurehead to match up with him. Justin Sun has also been approached but there is fear among Hive users is that he is a sneaky street fighter and if he won it would overshadow the whole event.

This event will take up a whole day on the calendar as there are alot of squabbles to sort out. This is the reason why Hivefest 9 have leaked this story. So we can get a list of contenders who could fight to the death. Comments below are appreciated so we can get an idea of who hates each other the most.

The OCD Community have pledged to fight anyone that posts in their Community because they should have posted in a different community and they are out for blood. How dare you!

The Gems community are looking to fight the users of the posts that are not Gems. They originally set up the community for jewellery stores but alas people just post any shit in it.

There is a lot of infighting in the Splinterlands Community so a half a day is being put aside for their grudge matches and the winner takes all. Rumour's have it that Aggy's Invennium won't go down easy and are putting quite the team together for the event. The Splinterlands OG's are very salty about their drop in card value so have approached the modern card users to a fight. This is going to be a rough one. Looks of old scores to settle here.

Special guests are being planned for these death matches and a number of characters are rumoured to be making an appearance. @janton is alleged to be in negotiations to pop out of a coffin like the Undertaker and lasso whoever is top of Asher's engagement league that week.

@exyle is meant to be in talks about coming back with the @theblockbrothers in a tag team and taking out some trash. @exyle who is ironically enough is in exyle from Hive will be a big name to get back during Hivefest 9.

The Hive homeless lad that keep losing his falcon and buying a new one will be facing off against Hive animal rights campaigners. The winner gets the bird.
News of this event will be public knowledge soon so be sure to snap up your Hivefest 9 tickets before they sell out. It's going to be a good one. We will see you soon. Don't forget to comment below on the matches you would like to see happening so we can spend out night investigating the beef and eating popcorn.