My dream job!

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago

I've been looking at the way my future is going lately and it feels like it has taken another bad turn. I'm already getting tired of chasing it so I've resorted to sitting back and letting it run, whenever it gets to where it's supposed to, I'll catch it up there but then I have this dream job that I've been applying for and I've been pleading with mother nature to grant my request.

That dream job is becoming karma's personal delivery lady. Like!!! Can you imagine being in such a position? Trust me I'll do my job with style and prestige especially when I'm sent to deliver a revenge package. I'll slap it on the person's face and majestically walk away with a broad smile.

I have a list of individuals I'll love to deliver sweet packages to before catching up with my future again. The first person on my list is the president of Nigeria. That man has dealt with Nigerians and deserves karma now that he's still wobbling around.

Second would be to my ex who looks like something I drew with my left toe for posting on social media that he's single and lying about it. His type of punishment is one that if I should write it down, you won't read it all because of the number of words.

Next up would be all the criminals in every country of the world. The stress though but the joy of watching them weep would supersede stress. Afterall joy is everything.

I'll love to work wholeheartedly for that bitch which gives good and bad but my aim is to deliver the bad ripen packages so these individuals don't just die and go scot free. You may be asking if I don't need a pay? Hahaha! My pay is in the joy I'll get to watch all the evil people get a taste of their own medicine.

Watching them wander free is making my heart grief each day. Revenge, my bad! Revenge may sound mean to you so I'll say returning their favor would be my pleasure 😊. Don't you think they'll love it? After All they say;

Do unto others what you'll love to be done unto you.

So you see? It's not bad, they'll love it. They'll thank me with their eyes moistened and their noses releasing drawy liquids. Karma may be a bitch but I love that bitch and you should too.

Don't you dare think I'm bitter, this is me spreading positivity. Wouldn't you like me to deliver a karma package to that person that hurt you sometime ago or that your conceited boss that talks down on you everytime? Hahaha, imagine him coming to the office on a Monday and smiling sheepishly (instead of bossing around) calling everyone sweet names and spreading cash. Shaking his bum and entertaining y'all while you take a video record of him and save it on your phone till the day the package expires then you'll use it against him.

My brain is beginning to mess with me, I think I should just go to bed. Maybe when I wake up I'll be thinking straight for now all I think is maybe I'm just perhaps (if such a phrase exists). Don't you think I should reapply for this job? Maybe mother nature didn't get my previous letters.

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This is very hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Whattt🤣

Thanks for making my morning sweet☺️

Oh🥺! I'm glad I could make your morning sweet. Thanks for the compliment ☺️

You're welcome ☺️

Please go to bed. Cos, this delivery job will definitely take a toll on you. Allow karma to do her job alone, she's handling it nicely 😝😝

She's not handling it nicely at all. I need a faster job😩🤣

Are you trying to teach her how to do her job? 😆

🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maybe 🤷

😂😂 😂
Whatever you took this evening is really working and I'd say go to bed, but that my president's own is very tempting 😋.
So I'll say apply, cos even me sef get some people where I suppose send you to.

Whatever you took this evening is really working

Just one mini bottle of best😩

but that my president's own is very tempting 😋.

Good thing you can see my point.

So I'll say apply, cos even me sef get some people where I suppose send you to.

Just the go ahead I needed. You're blessed 🤣🤣🤣

I guess best is not best for you.

Bless you too sister

I guess best is not best for you.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bless you too sister

Thank you, thank you😁

Don't you dare think I'm bitter, this is me spreading positivity.

Dare think you're bitter?? Never!! It didn't even cross my mind😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're a good person.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, if there's one thing you're great at, it's that you're very selective in choosing the people who are going to receive your download.

At least I am free and exempt. Ha ha ha.

there's one thing you're great at, it's that you're very selective in choosing the people who are going to receive your download.

Yep! I have to be because I feel they're the ones that deserve more punishment 🤣.

At least I am free and exempt. Ha ha ha.

We'll know when I get my job😎😎

Hey, that seems to be a very good job, but what if one day one of the packages has your name on it? muhahahahaha

My name? Haha! I've been a good girl so definitely the package that'll have my name on it will be a good one😁.

Your writing here surely did keep me guessing; if you're really being serious or not, I guess that's the beauty of it. 😵

Haha! It's just for fun. Thanks for reading through ♥️

It was a lovely little read. And you are welcome, cheers. 🥃

🥰🥰

🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣

Oh my goodness! Will I be able to stop laughing at this? It's so hilarious

And guess what! I've had a list of names ready to give to you already for your visit 🥲

Some people really should be visited earlier than mother nature is doing 😒😂

But I'll still suggest you go to bed, I'm having a bad feeling about this your good deed you're trying to do 🤣🤣🤣

Just in case, please send the letter again before you sleep 🥲

Thanks for posting to our community!

And guess what! I've had a list of names ready to give to you already for your visit 🥲

Just exactly what I like reading. Please send in the names because I will soon get that job 🤣.

Some people really should be visited earlier than mother nature is doing

I'm telling you😩.

But I'll still suggest you go to bed, I'm having a bad feeling about this your good deed you're trying to do

Which side is she even on?🤣🤣🤣

Just in case, please send the letter again before you sleep

Trust me I did🤣🤣

 2 years ago (edited) 

Please send in the names

I'm sending them immediately 😅 (My Nigerian president is number 000001) 🤣🤣🤣

Which side is she even on?

I'm in both side, is that not allowed? 🥲

I'm sending them immediately 😅 (My Nigerian president is number 000001) 🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣. Great.

I'm in both side, is that not allowed?

Lol. You can't serve two masters