Fred looks at the castle on Mangrove Street. He is captivated by the beautiful design and the garden. "I wish I could sleep in this castle just for a night," Fred said. "Oh well, you can sleep in the castle if you want to; it will cost you nothing," Mark told him with a big smile on his face.
The sun was smiling on Fred and Mark as they walked on the narrow path back home. "I am really serious about sleeping in the castle," Fred said. Mark looks at Fred and shakes his head, saying, "I thought you were joking about your sudden romance with the castle." "No, I am serious about it, Mark," Fred said. "I have always wanted to sleep in a castle since I was a kid," Fred said with a smile.
Fred has the physique of a basketball player; he's in his early twenties. Fred just moved to Mangrove Street. He and Mark have been friends for about six years. They met in high school, and their friendship has grown stronger over the years. Mark is 4 feet, and during their high school days, he was always victimized by the bigger students. Fred always looked out for him. There was an incident where Mark was bullied by some boys, and Fred came to Mark's rescue. Fred was given an award for his role in the fight against bullying. He was made an anti-bullying ambassador by the school authorities.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Victor," Fred said. "Good afternoon. How are you doing today?" Mr. Victor said "I'm good, sir," Fred replied. Mr. Victor is Mark's father. "Sir, I have something I would love you to help me do," Fred said to Mr. Victor. "Ok, Fred, what's that?" Mr. Victor replied. "Sir, I would love to spend a night at the castle just down the road," Fred said, rubbing his palms. "Why would you want to do that?" Mr. Victor asked. "Sir, I have always wanted to sleep in a castle for at least a night," Fred said with his eyes like gold going through the purification process. Mark laughs and says, "Fred, so you are really serious about sleeping in the castle? I totally understand that the castle is beautiful, but I don't think the owners would let you spend a night in the castle.""But we can speak to them and see what their response will be," Fred said. "Ok, young men, we will go to the castle tomorrow," Mr. Victor said. "Thank you, sir," Fred said with a big smile on his face.
"Mr. Victor, should we not knock on the gate?" Fred asked. "Don't worry, I know the owner of the castle," Mr. Victor replied. "Wow, this is beautiful. Look at the garden and the swimming pool. I love this place already. I can't wait to spend a night here," Fred said with so much excitement. Mr. Victor opens the castle door, and Fred rushes inside the castle. He is received by cobwebs, and he coughs as the air in the castle is dusty. Mr. Victor turns the light on. Fred is in disbelief as the castle lies in ruin. "Sir, this is strange. Why is the outside of the castle so beautiful, but the inside looks like it has been abandoned for years?" Fred asked Mr. Victor. Mr. Victor could see the disappointment on Fred's face.
"Let me tell you what happened," Mr. Victor said. "This castle has been here for more than 100 years. It is believed that the castle belonged to the prince. It is said that the prince and his family slept one night, and they all disappeared. It is said that the castle is built on a high hill between two worlds, and the force from the other world sucks up every human being who spends a night in the castle. The story has been proven to be true because so many people have disappeared from this castle after spending a night in it. Look at that picture on the wall; that's the prince who built this castle. The villagers had warned the prince not to build on this land, but he wouldn't listen. The strange thing about this castle is that the outside is kept clean, but the inside lies in ruin. No one knows who comes to take care of the garden. Most people believe it is the spirit of those who have disappeared from the castle."
Fred looks at the picture of the prince on the wall and feels a sense of connection with him. "Sir, I feel like I know the prince in this picture," he said to Mr. Victor. Mr. Victor smiles at Fred and says, "That's my great-grandfather; he built this castle." But he and some of these children disappeared one night, and no one knows their way back. My grandfather was not home that night, and he was the only survivor." Fred looked at Mr. Victor and could not say a word. At that moment, his emotions switched from disappointment to pity. "How have you been able to cope with this, sir?" Mr. Victor smiles and says to Fred "That question is meant for my grandfather".
Fred left the castle happy that, even though he did not get to spend a night in the castle, he has learned a lot about it and has a story to tell others.
His persistence to spend a night in the Castle made him discover a beautiful myth about the ruins of the castle. Now he has a story to tell to people who may or may not believe him until the see with their own eyes. It was so kind of Mr victor to show him to the castle.
Thank you for your comment.
My pleasure
Fred could lead a revolution to rebuild the castle. It was such an opportunity to have such a privileged information. All thanks to Mr Victor.
Thank you for your comment, Mr Victor was kind to him
This was an interesting take and twist on the prompt, Kinganny. Having the outside of the castle be pristine and the inside in ruins piqued my interest after a relatively slow start. I feel this is where the story should have started and been developed from there. It would have been a great hook! The story needed development and resolution as to why the people disappear, who maintains the gardens etc. It feels like an opportunity to elevate your story may have been missed here. Remember to revisit the key facets of a good piece of fiction to ensure that you include things like character and story development and that any conflict that is introduced is resolved. Facing conflict should change people and this should be evident from the story outcome.
Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.
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