I do not tolerate abuse. You leave me speechless with everything written here.
But I think the approach to this issue (outside of all social conventions) is that anyone, male or female, must first cultivate their self-love before embarking on any kind of relationship.
Note that I pointed out the social conventions because imagine, if in your society in your youth, you are forced to get married... or do things against your will, such as by law endure abuse, we are already talking about other very serious things as well.
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Women has always been at the receiving end of societal norm and we have been fighting to come out of our marginalized position.
The only weapon we have to win is self love, we cannot demand to be treated fairly if we do not love ourselves first.