24th — Hive

As the 24th year of my existence in this universe has finally come to its specific date, wherein I vowed to change myself before its due, and now I'm wondering, how far have I gone to? My journey for self-improvement is not just a roller coaster of emotions, but also filled with a series of ridges and bumps where I have been constantly crossing paths along the way. Nonetheless, it's innately inevitable, whom which I have been through with these kind of challenges and struggles constantly, however, I have this innate strong character to persevere, too.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels.

Whatever and whichever challenges it will be to hinder my journey, I'll give my best shot to face them all and resolve it my utmost potentials, not just likely to play possum as I used to do before or try the possible ways to run away than looking for possible ways to solve the riddles. I've learned a lot during the past two years of my life, the resiliency and sturdiness, when to speak out and when to be silent, when to defend and when to ignore.

She, who ain't as strong as the waves,
yet, rides on it.
She, who ain't as turbulent as the wind,
yet, dances with its rhythm.
She, who can't withstand the storm,
yet, patiently waited for the rainbow.
As long as the sunlight greets her day,
she, who has once was disheartened,
will find new hope before every sunset comes...

This life is not cursed, but a blessed gift.

This thought might be the biggest highlight every time I reflect on how I live my life in the previous years. As the day starts, a melancholy feeling will me greet me with a heavy heart, unwilling to leave my bed as I couldn't figure out why do I have to live when I have to suffer in this world. It was either empty or heavy, but now, somehow, I feel so much lighter inside.

It turns out that all it takes was to shift my perspectives onto the brighter side of life, and it brings a bigger difference to how I see things recently. Maybe the Burnt Toast Theory is somewhat right, and those things that happened in my past is meant to stall me for greater things beyond what I can comprehend. A preemptive measure of the universe, so I can't make a bigger mistake that could entirely ruin my lifetime.

Lost, and now was found,
Beyond the alleys of sound,
Between a void and the oblivion,
Arising from the depths of her emotion.

For she, is back from the brinks,
Once, twice, or thrice, she blinks,
To see her life with clarity,
To how she'll live it without enmity.

This might not sound as joyous as it has to be, but actually I'm only looking back to my journey, congratulating myself for making it this far and still facing my days head on. Elated, overwhelmed, and grateful, that's how I actually felt on my birthday for I know that right now, I already have prepared myself and accumulated enough courage for any ventures that I'll be doing from hereon. And for the first time in my life, I could finally say that I had a happy birthday.