It took deliberate effort but eventually, I stopped glancing at my phone screen to see if she would call.
Source
On some days I just couldn't help it. I went back to our chats on WhatsApp and read between the lines to see if there was any place at all that suggested that I was sidelining her. The more I thought about it, the more angry and betrayed I felt.
Jenny and I met in sisters' fellowship during the first week of my first year.
Fellowship began at 5 pm, and by 4:45 pm, I was roaming around the school looking for a classroom block called phb where I was told the meetings would take place, that was when she walked up to me.
“Hello, which way is it to phb block, please?”
I shook my head indicating that I didn't know. She turned away, about to leave, when I stopped her.
“Hey, are you going for sisters fellowship too?” She nodded.
“Then let's go together”
We walked around for a few more minutes until we heard loud singing and clapping in one of the classroom blocks, when we confirmed that was the infamous phb block, we went in.
Ayra Starr - Commas (Official Video)Jenny was fun to be with, a simple individual who knew what she had come to do in school and was ready to go all out for it. For that, I became even more attracted to her.
When exams were drawing near, Jenny invited me to night classes for the first time. I almost couldn't keep up because I didn't sleep in the afternoons but eventually, I leant to stay up from 10 pm till 5 am just like most people.
Since she was the first friend I ever had in school, it was only natural that I began to introduce the other friends I made to her.
“You have too many friends,” Jenny would say when I introduced any of them to her. “You shouldn't keep too many, you could get distracted”
But I loved my friends and since most of them were in my department, it was easier for us to be even closer than I was with Jenny who I first met.
In order to keep the friendship going, I created a sisters' WhatsApp platform where I could connect with all my close girls. I didn't want to be friends with them individually, I wanted them to get to know one another as well. Everything was going on fine, we were even planning our first girl's picnic when I woke up to a notification that said Jenny left.
My inbox was already flooded with messages like, “Tee, why did Jenny leave the group chat?”
The same questions were on my mind but I remained calm. After all, she was in charge of money for our first picnic.
I placed a call to Jenny when I returned from school that afternoon.
“Wow, Treasure. What a pleasant surprise” I heard mockery in her tone.
“Jenny! How are you?” I said, ignoring her statement.
“I'm fine, but I can bet my life that was not why you called me”
I fell silent. At this point, it was obvious that she was upset.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“The question should be, what didn't you do wrong? If not that I left your little group, would you have called or even checked up on me? I'll transfer your 5,000 for the picnic back to you”
I couldn't understand it. If I did something to offend her, why didn't she just say it?
Treasure asked me to calm down.
“Go through your personal chats with her, call her again, and find out what happened. It's possible you offended her without knowing”
And so I did. Every time I called her, she began the sentence with “What do you want? I've sent your 5k”
I even pleaded with her to forgive me in case I had done anything to offend her but her reply was always, “Na now your eyes open abi? It's too late”
The third time she said that I dropped the call and blocked her contact.
“I'm loved at home and friendship is not by force,” I told Treasure when she asked me why I did that. “I don't even know what I did wrong”
The other girls in the group were really concerned for me. They wanted to know how I was taking the sudden loss of 3 years of friendship.
“Treasure, please don't ever cry because of that girl, especially when you're alone. She did not deserve you” Jane said.
About 4 months later when the whole incident was dying down, I heard a knock on my door. It was Jenny. I slammed the door back in her face, I didn't have the strength for drama.
“Babe, this isn't you. This girl said she was suffering from low self-esteem, and that she was jealous of the fact that you had other friends besides her '' Tracey, another of my girls, tried to intervene for her but it fell on deaf ears.
To be honest, I cannot say why I felt indifferent towards someone who had been my friend since my first days in school. Perhaps, it was just like the wordings of Ayra Starr’s new song, ‘commas’ said,
“…..Energy wrong I log off, Mo wa friendly and conscious
I'm allergic to isokuso (unproductive talk)
I'm not ready for confusion…..” Ayra Starr - Commas - Lyrics
Jenny and I no longer vibe like we used to. I forgave her but I couldn't bring myself to accept her as one of my closies again like I said to Treasure on one of those days,
“If she was jealous that I had other friends, she will remain jealous, even when I get married. I don't need that type of toxicity”.
You did the right thing by drawing a boundary between you and such a friend as Jenny. Some people are like that, they can't be happy for us if things are going well in our life, we are better off with such kind of people.
Alot of Ayra Starr songs are about bad energy, and i get it, a girl with her beautiful talent will definitely be facing alot of jealousy from some supposed called friends, and it is nice to see that she is talking about it.
So true, setting boundaries with toxic people like Jenny was important for my well-being.
It's unfortunate that she couldn't genuinely share in my happiness.
You are right, Ayra Starr could be facing a lot in the industry and it's nice to see her talking about them in our songs.
Thank you
You're welcome. 🇳🇬
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People change. We can just do our best but if they wont understand, we have no choice but to move on :(
It’s good to forgive, and I love you giving her the right distance she deserves. I also love this song.
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