The holiday season ignites a big internal conflict for me.
On one hand, my principles stop me from wanting to participate in many of the traditional activities around here. I abhor wrapping paper, needless plastic waste, the notion that we should all take a financial hit to buy the ones we love gifts that likely they do not need, or even want...
Christmas is 110% not my sort of thing, but in this neck of the woods, it's a big deal. As a mom of two little ones, it would be nearly criminal to rob them of the holiday excitement that surrounds us though. So, I do my best to find a middle ground.
My simple but powerful minimalist hack for dealing with the holidays is refusing to compare myself to others. Firmly staying true to my own ways. Fly swatting away that wild mom guilt that creeps in if I don't meet some benchmark that other mom's did.
I started a trend in our family last year, I gave gifts in reusable fabric materials. This year, everyone wanted to follow suit. What a win! I also decided last year that I would purchase my children's gifts nearly exclusively from the thrift store.
Second hand means less packaging, money saved, and a total avoidance of marketing.
I had to write for this week's prompt, because the holidays may be my best example of how I keep it simple in my daily life.
By not comparing myself to others, I become free of all of these crazy expectations from decor to gift giving. I can settle into what feels right to me. That is focusing on family, not finances allocated. Not time spent hanging things, or meticulously folding paper.
As you can see from my photo above, I didn't even hang ornaments on my tree this year. In fact, I did the absolute least in every regard for decorating. Why set a bunch of things up that my two-year-old cannot touch, and then spend the next weeks enforcing that? No thanks.
I spent only an hour decorating my house. I didn't worry about it looking picture perfect. I focused on the fact that this is living space, not Instagram. This decision turned the process into fun.
Today I went to the secondhand shop to start gathering gifts for the kids. I also picked up some cute cappuccino mugs (which I really needed), bins to facilitate toy rotation (a minimalist stable I must swear by), and some baskets to plan out gift wrapping for oddly shaped objects.
I wanted to share some of the things I selected to highlight the value in doing things this way for me.
Books. I know this is a big hot topic for minimalists, but I say that books are never clutter. No hate to you e-book Mins, but I need to hold my adventures. If I were to state the perfect minimalist gift from my perspective, it is either something the person will use right away (like a good tea or a fancy snack), or a book that is fitting for the recipient.
My kids must have inherited that feeling from me, because they both love books. Therefore, they each got a stack for Christmas this year. Do you spy the title "The Day My Butt Went Psycho"? You're not seeing things. I know this will help my child advance.
Oh, how parenting just stays strange! There is nothing my daughter thinks is funnier than fart jokes, probably in part due to my instance that she stops telling me them.
Well, I'm using that to my advantage to kickstart her reading! I found her some classics, and selected a few "big girl books" without illustrations to help ease her into more serious reading. Well, as serious as an all text book on butt problems can be considered.
My son loves looking at books, but he isn't very good at it yet (destruction). So, he got a handful of textured board books that he can enjoy solo or with a parent. He's also just mad over trains right now, so I grabbed a few choo choo tales for bedtime.
Maybe the coolest thing about all these books is that they were each under 2$, and came buy 4 get 1 free. I forced myself not to look at novels.
Barbies. Little girls who don't want barbies are few and far between, and my kiddo is no different. I cringe at the thought of buying one new though. Between the packaging, the lack of unique traits, and the cost... barbies were something I resisted for a long time.
Well, at the thrift store you find all kinds of cool barbies. I thought it was way great that one of these had a prosthetic leg. I will hunt again for the random bag of outfits that I know is sitting in another store for 5$, and Thea will be set! These four cost me as much as one new barbie.
I also got a slew of hotwheels cars for my son. He's obsessed with everything transportation at this point, and I know his grandmother got him a car track. I'll shamelessly stash away half of the cars Christmas night once he is asleep, so I always know where some are.
Ever watched how fast a kid can lose tiny cars all over a house? If you know you know.
The last thing that helps me keep things simple while thrifting is looking for cards.
But Grindan, you said you hated the paper waste?
Yes, yes, 1000x yes. I sure do. The thing is, the older generations really seem to care about cards. When it means the world to my random aunt or family friend that I've sent a card, I can't justify my reluctance. I keep card giving minimal, but I definitely do it.
It used to be that if you got a gift, the first thing you did was read the card. I think us millennials did away with that practice pretty solidly, but I've grandfathered the act in for the people in my life it matters to. Pun intended, I guess.
And if I must give cards, they will be unique. Thrift store strikes again there, you'll find some of the most beautiful and also some of the most bizarre cards in a random baggie there. It's like a mystery box, you don't know what you got until you get home and open it.
Usually I get at least one weirdo card, but today they were all just cute. So instead, I'll point out how nice it is that these older cards all came with matching envelopes. It looks way classier, and cost MUCH less. Standard card= 1-5$. I bought a mystery bag today that broke down to .08 a card.
As money focused as this post may seem, minimalism isn't exclusively about saving dough for me by a long shot. It's about removing the expectations of item ownership that encumber most of us. So many people are wilting under the weight of trying to mimic the lifestyle of those around them, while a shroud of debt and uncertainty hides behind those same people's social media posts...
By focusing on what feels organic to me in my world, yes, I save money, and I celebrate it. It eases times that can be stressful, like the holidays... These dollars are small markers that represent my ability to have experiences vs. items to me. Freedom.
What I hope this post highlights though, is that a minimalist lifestyle can free you to enjoy simple things. My kids don't see that my house isn't decked out, that I haven't spent 6 hours fussing over a perfect tree— what they see are lights that are new and exciting.
It doesn't matter that my house won't be covered in paper come December 25th, and that the "wrapping" will be folded up after. Or that the toys my kids get were loved by another kid before them. What stays central is the spirit of the season, and I couldn't be any more grateful for that.
Minimalism is a hack in itself for the holidays in my opinion, because simplicity supports the sublime. I hope everyone celebrating in December is enjoying the season! 💚
I couldn't agree more. It's always crazy in this season and the shopping frenzy remains intense despite the inflation. The gifts you got your children are cool imo and well thought out. I'll take the gift of books over anything else. Hehe. Love your tree. Merry Christmas! 🥰
!LUV
The extents people go to shop despite tight finances, and the societal nudge to feel like you have to do so... wild, totally bonkers to me.
I really appreciate the kind comment Kemmy! Of course you're a book gal too hehe 💚 never can have too many books! Merry Christmas to you as well 🤗 !LUV
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Yes, I feel the same way. Me and my girls exchange gifts on the Solstice and we decorate the trees outside with our homemade bird feeders.
As my girls get older though, they are getting swept up in the whole Xmas thing, cos all their friends celebrate it. I'm keeping my tradition, well I'm trying to xxxx
Your tradition sounds beautiful and filled with lots of connection, love it! 😍
It can be hard when our kids pick up things from their peers (one of mine currently has decided she is a picky eater bc her friend is LOL), I'm sure your girls will always appreciate your family's special way of doing things though, even if they get dazzled by xmas.
Big hugs your way 🤗
Many families go to town during Christmas and spend so much on presents for kids even when they can't afford it, just because it's Christmas. They seem to measure the festive joy in materialistic terms and keeping up with the Joneses, which is pretty stupid IMHO. I've seen a lot of kids will be equally happy in playing with the cardboard box packaging for the mega expensive games console rather than the console itself.
As to Christmas cards, this is where I think we need to strike a balance between being green vs human touch. If we strip back everything to the bare minimum, we will lose the human element in life and everything becomes so cold and distant. Sure we can send an ecard, but nothing beats holding a physical card in your hand, knowing the sender made the time and effort to write it specifically for you. For many, especially the older generation and those living on their own, this could make a lot of difference to their Christmas
Gave a great Christmas 🎄
Gosh, I could not have summarized the whole thing I want to opt out of better than you did in the first paragraph! It's bonkers to me that people feel less in some way if they do not participate. I think simple gifts get the most use, and as you said- the boxes they come in! 😂
Last year we had a few large boxes, and I taped them together to make a giant playhouse. That was the highlight of the season for the kids hahaha!
I really appreciate what you said about the human touch of card giving as well. It's a simple gesture that can make someone smile and feel connected from afar, and to me, that's what the whole holiday spirit is about. I don't want to lose things like that from my lifestyle.
Thanks for the awesome comment, I hope you have a great Christmas as well! 🤗
and excellent photos!
It's all about family, the spirit of Christmas and balance. Your Christmas tree and decorations look beautiful! Yes, Barbie dolls were, are, and will always be a little girl's favorite. Books are a necessity. Start reading when the baby still is in utero in continue forever! You nailed it about people from a certain generation and older enjoying when they receive Christmas cards in mail! My dear mother is from said generation and she loves receiving them!
Merry Christmas
to you and your family!
@grindan
📯🦌❤🎄💚🎅🛷
!HUG !LUV !PIZZA !LADY
Hey Nina! 🤗 Thank you so much for this wonderfully sweet reply! I really appreciate the boost and token gifts as well! 💗
Love it! Couldn't agree more.
Yeah, cards may not be my thing, but I know some people love them so much that they display all of the ones they get. It's nice to make that gesture when it counts to that degree. Hehe yes, I have a few relatives that get plum thrilled when they receive post too, it's so cute 😍
I hope you are having a beautiful holiday season, Merry Christmas to you as well 💕🎄☃️💝🤗
!LUV !LADY !PIZZA !PIMP
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Go Stake some more and increase your PIMP power.
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I believe we could all be happy without comparing ourselves to what others do or produce. Your Christmas decors are simple yet elegant. By the way, I see your kid is growing so fast dear. The last time you have shared, seemed so little and now not a baby anymore. How are you? I hope you are well. Best regards to a dear friend and Merry Christmas in advance to you and your family!