In another episode of agree to disagree, I want to talk about goal setting. This has been bugging me a bit but I finally understood the double edged swords of telling people/sharing our goal publicly. In the past, I tried doing it multiple times by sharing the goal of mine and attempting to do some sort of “public accountability”. While I know about the so-called “premature achievement”, a situation in which we already feel accomplished despite that we haven't even worked through it, I was still doing it. There was research about it too which was included in the video below. In the video it also discusses why we should never tell people about our goals and some examples that show the difference between when we tell people vs when we don’t tell people about our goals.
Welcome to my brain dump, it’s morning and when I am able to sit down, sipping a cup of coffee while contemplating about life and emptying it out a little.
Reflecting on what I’ve been doing lately, I realized, I achieved faster than when I was not telling anybody about my plans or goals. I just do it without telling a single soul and just working hard to achieve those. But as you know, the goals that I shout in public often fall through halfway.
I did an experiment the other week about eating a lot healthier food. In the past, I was often writing something before the event was done but lately, I wrote something after it’s done. For example, instead of talking about “ How I am going to eat healthier for next 7 days”, I ended up writing about “ What I ate after the week passed”. These two yield different kinds of results.
With the first one, my plan usually falls through after the fifth day. I usually felt some kind of burden to keep up and seeing it more like a chore, rather than something that I have to be doing. While the second one feels a lot less burden. In fact, my choices were a lot more realistic and reasonable. It doesn’t just stop in eating healthy but also a lot of things in my life that work the same. Instead of prematurely sharing about it, I would do something first, get it done and only tell the experience later on.
It is the same with my coffee/cafe visit that has been racking up in my folders. In the past, I would write about them as soon as I got back home but these days, they can stay about more than a week before I would be compelled to talk about it and look into it again. There’s also a difference in terms of the writing as well as how I expressed it rather than when I immediately wrote it.
Even my morning brain dump is actually the things that I’ve been thinking about throughout the week and I am letting them out while I am sipping my coffee. Just like the thing that I am talking about today, “Goal setting”. It has been bugging me a lot and only today it is time for me to let it out because I need to free up my mind and space so I can come up with other things to ponder on.
Recently I’ve also become an aunt. I got a little excited welcoming my niece into the world. I was in the delivery room for a while and saw the whole process. It was pretty nerve-wrecking but also such a joyous moment.
I noticed that these past 3-4 weeks, my life has been filled with family & friends. They take up most of my energy & my day often goes like, waking up, family, family, dealing with more family matters, hanging out with friends, and so little time for me. In the end, whenever I am trying to open hive and be active online, I just don’t have the energy to do that.
That made me realize that energy is the real deal. It doesn’t matter if you have 24 hours but if you have 0 energy to get through the day, that’s over. It’s why learning how to have more energy and conserving them is my biggest priority currently. I don’t know about you but I love having more energy since I have to do so many things.
Back into my cocoon.
Before I am lashing out unnecessarily, being grumpy and saying things I didn’t mean to, I decided to just stay away from my friends a bit. It always happens when I am overly exposed to people around me. I think when I am overstimulating myself with interaction, my energy drains very quickly and I am tired of others. In the past, I let this get the best of me and I hurt an awful lot of people because I didn’t get the space I needed where I mostly enjoy being with myself every now and then.
When I am given space just to be with myself and having less exposure to another human being, my mind feels a lot more refreshed. I am also a lot nicer when I am at least 90% recharged. I usually love going to cafes but these past few weeks, the cafe has been bustling with customers that it was always packed and exhausting. So, because of that, I decided to brew my own coffee and be at home until I feel a lot more refreshed to go outside again.
Oh, one more thing... These days I am having a lot more conversation with my mom about living vs lifestyle. I think I am at that age where I start caring about my future a little bit more than I used to. All these time, I was living a lifestyle & they cost double of what “life” should be. I was using a much more laid back approach on my spending, but these days, I’ve become a lot more responsible for my spending. It was challenging at first to control some of the things I spent but since now I have some goals that require a lot of money, I am even more motivated to track my spending and choose life over lifestyle.
I am also at the age where I no longer need validation. I don’t need validation from anyone, the only thing I strive for lately is being the better version of myself. Anyhow, that’s all my morning coffee talk, feel free to disagree. See you next morning.
 | 𝘔𝘢𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘢 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳 . 𝘈 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦-𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰. |
Living v. lifestyle is a big one. There are so many people blowing so much money on "lifestyle," or even just projecting a certain lifestyle, like influencers pretending to be richer than they are. It can be life-changing to escape that grind.
!LUV
that's so true! whenever I am on instagram, I kept wondering if people actually has that money to afford their life and lifestyle. But I guess, when we look at reality a lot more, it's not as glamour as what instagram attempts to portray.
Great food for thought there Mac!
Thank you, it's always the caffeine talking hehe
Funny, I was thinking about it again earlier....lol....and no caffeine for me...
Both methods of goal setting (sharing vs not sharing) has worked for me. The important thing is the process of knowing thyself. And you seem to be a scientist of your inner thoughts and psychological mechanics
hahaha I definitely am. I spent so much thinking inwards and more often than not, I am speaking a lot less than I should.
Smile