I've already finished my tasks in our homeschooling for Grade 2. Or so I thought. I just realized I haven't talked to my daughter about how our 4th quarter went on a technical standpoint. We always talk about how we're doing every week. We have our informal chitchats about "Did you learn anything interesting this week?" or my daughter spontaneously talking about random trivia about the earth or animals, or plants, and so on.
I contemplated for a bit if I should discuss her grades or not. She tend to be a bit too grade conscious once I open the topic of scores and ratings. She always wants to be the top of everything. Her father had to consistently remind her that it's not the ranking she needs to focus on. But I figured she still needs to hear feedback about how our year was. How her year was numbers wise at least.
So today, during our lunch time, I casually slipped the topic about her grades. I started with telling them the good news that I am free from all the paperwork. Then I told them I had already submitted her grades. I was half expecting my husband asking how her grades was but he didn't. I opened the topic telling my daughter her general average is a B+. She then asked me if that's good or not. Because she said that she saw that A+ was the highest. And she's asking how she could get an A+. The talk was starting to show her grade-conscious self.
Tatay was quick to spot that, so he interjected right away. We had to remind her that her grades does not define her and that we only do the numbers so that we could have something to submit to the school. Of course, her grades are based on the written work, performance tasks, exams, etc. Her grades still show how she's doing with school. But we needed to make it clear that our focus is not the numbers, but the learning itself. You can only imagine the level of joy I felt when she said the sentence "Our focus is not the numbers, but the learning itself" in unison with us.
She still asked how her Math exam went. That's her favorite subject, I guess she couldn't let go of any wrong answers she might have made for her exams. I noticed it's only her Math exams she's most worried about. It makes her teary eyed whenever I discuss the incorrect answers she made. It's the only subject she asks what her rating was. And unsurprisingly, it's the subject where she gets the highest marks.
All throughout our homeschooling journey, I have made an effort to make sure that my grading system is as objective as possible. Our first grade was more like a trial run for our grading system. The very first grading period of our first grade, I may have given her extra high grades. But now, I have gotten the hang of it. Each number I put in my excel file (yeah, I created my own grading sheet because I couldn't understand other peoples' templates), each of those numbers were not just pulled out of thin air. I followed criteria after criteria to make sure that I am not grading her too harshly or too lightly.
And it helps a lot because now, I can clearly see where her heart lies. I see clearly which subjects she loves the most and which ones she does not like as much. We are not aiming to gather awards and medals for our grades. We are just enjoying the lessons and study time. It feels amazing that we are well on our way towards a relaxing homeschooling journey. I am enjoying the pleasure of getting to know my daughter more. And she is feeling more open to letting us know her more because she feels relaxed and safe.
Often times, trying to hit high grades makes the environment at home and school a lot more stressful. The way we treat our lessons everyday, and the way we look at our grades makes a lot of difference. The kiddo is a lot more receptive to learning because she knows that all she needs to do is to absorb the lessons, ask questions if anything is not clear, and most importantly, have fun while learning.
Next year, I don't think I'll ever have to worry about having to talk to her about her grades anymore. This informal chitchat during our lunch time proves that our goals and objectives is not having high grades, but learning as much lessons as we can and enjoying it while we do.
I grow up feeling not enough due to my father's expectation to have always a high grade. You are such a good mom, its not always having a high grade it is what we learned.
Wow
One major thing I love about your homeschooling journey is how you ask your daughter what she learnt at the end of every week
It helps her to recap and also remember the things she has learnt
This is so beautiful to read.
Intentional parenting and I love it.
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