Single Parents And Our Society

in #hivenaija10 months ago

Society as a whole has this misconception about a single parent, and I begin to wonder what crime they committed. The treatment of a single parent in some cultures is terrible and should be discouraged.

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I can understand the fact that it takes two human beings to give birth to a child. As the case may be, one parent might not be willing to take responsibility for bringing a child into the world, and the other parent has to single-handedly take up the responsibility of the child. So at this instance, do we blame this single parent for carrying out his or her responsibilities?

For a child who grows up with a single parent, he or she might have to deal with so many issues in society. I remember a story of a young boy who was always crying whenever his mother took him to school. The mother wondered what the problem was. But she was told by her friends that it was just a phase. The lady was worried because, at 10 years old, a child should be excited about going to school. She asked her son and him what the problem was. The boy told his mom that he loves going to school, but he had just one issue. The mother asked him what the issue was, and he said that his classmates always made jokes about him, that he was abandoned, and that his mom was not his real mom.

At the age of ten, the young boy was already feeling rejected. The mother explained the circumstances of his birth to him, and the boy was consoled, and from that day on, he was able to stand up to his bullies.

A child might develop hatred for the absent parent without truly knowing the truth about the situation. A woman had issues with her husband immediately after they had their first child, and the girl was just 5 months old when they divorced. The girl grew up and asked about her father. The woman, instead of telling her the truth, decided to lie to the child and paint the father as a wicked man who abandoned his family. The father later reached out to the girl, but she refused to give him an audience. The girl hated her father because of what her mom told her.

It was time for her to marry, and the father was needed as tradition requires; she said her father is dead. Thankfully, her grandma was alive, and she told the young lady the truth about the issue. She went to her father and apologized to him.
I understand that each parent has a role to play in the life of a child, and these roles cannot be understated. But we cannot help but understand that the child did not choose the circumstances surrounding his or her birth.

For a single parent, the financial aspect of training a child can be a source of worry if the person is not financially okay. Imagine paying school fees and other bills alone. It is always difficult to navigate, and we see most single parents losing themselves in the process of training a child. Some end up not being able to fulfill their dreams. And they might end up transferring their frustration to the child.

I have seen a situation where a mother maltreated her son, and people were always wondering what the boy did to warrant such treatment. We later discovered it was transferred aggression. The mother felt her dreams were shattered by the child.

Single parents, especially women, face a lot of rejection from society. Some landlords refuse to rent out their houses to single mothers because they believe that they are irresponsible. Single mothers face a lot of discrimination from society. To the extent that they are denied employment because of their status.

A friend asked why it seems like single mothers are rude. I never thought of that until he asked. We discussed the issue and concluded that they are not rude but just trying to defend themselves from being exploited.

I feel society has the responsibility of creating an environment that is healthy by educating people on why discriminating against single parents is bad.

I believe the government can formulate policies that will protect single mothers. Establishments that discriminate against single mothers should be penalized, and this will serve as a deterrent to others.
Single parents should be truthful to their children and always tell them the truth about their birth. And there is no need to create emenity between the child and the absent parent. A child hating a parent is not healthy and might lead to an emotional breakdown if the situation is not well managed.

Society as a whole has a role to play in making life easy for single parents because they already have the difficult responsibility of training a child alone. Let's not add to the already difficult situation. Our love and kindness are what a parent and child need.

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