Boom, come here?
El-Jefe towered over my desk like a large bathtub of solidified porridge.
S'up Boss-Dawg?
I said chirpily as I raised myself up from my chair to follow his beckoning pork medallion of a finger.
He led us to the nearest meeting room and held the door so that he could close it with an angry thud behind me.
He took a seat and I did too. It looked like something was afoot, the boss man seemed perturbed. I wondered if he had got locked in the toilet again?
Right, how come when I have a meeting with people who give me hell you can have a meeting with them shortly after and it's a fucking bed of roses? I mean, I have heard you laughing and you all come out smiling?!
El-Jefe made a rumbling noise and I hoped that it wasn't coming from his belly. There was a distinct lack of snacks in the room and I didn't fancy him going all Hulk Hungry and attempting a munchy munchy on my beautiful thighs.
I just don't get it?!
He stood up with such a sudden flobbly wobbling that a Tsunami warning chimed in the Japans.
Maybe it is just the topics of the meetings? Maybe you have harder meetings with people over thornier subjects than I do?
I tried to be diplomatic by not telling him that he was an odious toad and that a lot of people thought he was a useless wanker.
They aren't harder!? I just came out of a meeting with No-Beans and the Kill Six. We were discussing the changing resource process.
I took a sharp intake of breath through my teeth. No Beans was the head of Finance for IT and the Kill Six were the nameless grey-suited sharks that followed him everywhere armed with Power BI dashboards and reports that could strip the flesh from a man faster than a shoal of piranha.
Ooft, how was that?
I tried to look empathetic, which involved thinking about the origin of belly button fluff and why some folk had fluffy, fresh and purple-ish stuff and others grey and cheesy mook.
It was SHIT! They literally fucked me up the arse and called me Maureen?!
El-Jefe thumped a hand down on the desk between us with petulant rage like a child finding a pickle in his cheeseburger.
They can be a little mean, that is true.
I stopped thinking about belly button fluff and switched to my empathetic watching videos of someone trying to skateboard down a flight of stairs face.
Mean!? I was slaughtered in there. They literally held me up against a wall and cut me open.
He huffed madly, his gaze on a faraway place where the word literally literally didn't mean what it did.
He broke off his gaze from Literally not literally land and turned back to me.
So how come you get preferential treatment? How come they cosy up to you? I've heard them you know.
He looked savage as he glared at me, like a car that smells the fancy super 97 octane fuel.
Och away with you. It's the same for me, some meetings are bad, and some are good.
I smiled. It had been ages since I had had a bad meeting.
El-Jefe narrowed his eyes.
Is it because you are funny. Mr Funny Man, cracking jokes and being rude all the time?
He cleared his throat and whinnied in a high voice.
Oh my turtle's eggs are killing me!!
He barked a sadistic-sounding laugh.
What the fuck is that? Is that meant to be me?!
I frowned disapprovingly with all of my brows.
HA! HAHA! Yes, it is me doing an impression of you!
He looked inordinately proud of himself as if he had managed to get an appointment with the Doctor in the same week he had phoned.
Well, fuck off. I would never say anything shit like that.
I folded my arms and sniffed in disdain.
You have, I have heard you.
His smile slipped and he went back into j'accuse mode.
I haven't so shoosh.
I gave him the flat stare.
Well, anyway. I am going to be all funny. See how meetings go with a bit of humour in them. Eh, that will teach them.
He waved me away with an imperious hand and I got up and left the room. As I was closing the door I heard him speak out loud as if practicing for a presentation.
I'm just like Batman but with turtle's eggs! Hahah!
I shook my head and closed the door.
Holy shit. The Cuckoo has landed.
Someone should tell El-Jefe to take up writing. Then all his bad experiences become material. But does the world want El-Jefe's experiences? No. The world is pretty fond of Mr. Funny Man. I'm all out of suggestions :)
He would probably get ChatGPT to write for him. His writing is worse than a child with none of the imaginary child benefits!
I am visualizing him signing off on some document, and getting out a cursive chart to double check how to sign a capital E.
Haha! Yes indeed. Perhaps that's why I gave rarely seen a poem in his hand!
Me...
"Batman.. lmao. Bitch your name is Maureen.
Maureen with the bloody rectum if you need more specifics
Maureen never comes out of things well 🤣🤣
El Jefe might need to be renamed The Dud, because he just doesn't have what it takes to go Boom.
Heh heh, I wrote like that... The Dud
I was away for quite awhile and back again. Glad to see you are still posting here! haha good stuff as always!
Hey dude, good to see you. I hope you have been well!
Thanks!! Yeah I have been well, busy but really doing well!! Hope you are well too!
Yah man, living the crazy life but good! :O)
Is there fluff in the belly button? 🙄 I think there are just dirt and the cottons of clothes 😄
It's fluff. You have to check, apparently it's magical! Unless you have the grey mook :OD
Cuckoodoo dooo 🤣. You are right at it again, and this time, the boss came into the picture.
You do have a knack for enjoying all these, don't ya? And, he knows something real good about you, which made me nod endlessly like a Lizard to this;
You are the full package 😂😂.
I am at least half the package! :OD
I am now worried that he will ltry to tear off my skin and wear it in a desperate effort to be me LOL!
🤣🤣🤣. Well, thar can't happen. You have a lot of humour in you to allow that to happen. And, your sarcasm is topnotch.
He would suffocate from that before he even nears you skin.😅😅
I love being sarcastic. It is one of my favourite things!
He would have to catch me more to the point and I think that would be one race I might win , hehe
Yeah, I know. Sarcasm keeps you alive 🤣🤣🤣.
Well, my bet is on you. El Jefe can seat his ass down on that.
Then you for the vote of confidence! Perhaps I will steal his skin and pass myself off as him!! 😀😀
🤣🤣🤣. Nah, you'll do well as you. Your original self rocks
El-jefe is such a cute character and trying to impersonate you 😅😅😅
He dices with DEATH if he is impersonating me!! 🤣🤣
Wow, a boss taking a leaf out of your book, and jealous of how your meetings goes. Those are pretty good praises. But judging from his humor, I hope they at least give him a pity laugh out of it. Have you both been in the same meeting before? If yes, how did that turn out?
We have indeed both been in the same one, it is usually me that gives him the hassle on those occasions! 😀
Haha, so there is no escape for him.
Laughs... well... you should probably have told him that the reason for your meetings is to talk smack about the main mack 🤣🤣🤣
And that is exactly what happens, lol!!! :OD
If I'm ever a boss I'd encourage such meetings.
I'd fire the first fucker coming out with a smug on his face 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫠
There are perks to being the boss!!! 🤣🤣
He will never get his impersonation right :) . And when he fails, so will his meeting!
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I can only imagine what a meeting with him would be like if he tried to be whacky funny!! :OD
Might get him fired? !LOL
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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say. I think he loves you lol. No matter what, he will never in this life or the next, come close to your humorous, charming self. Mind he doesn't start to dress like you!
Maybe he does love me. Here is hoping if that is the case that it doesn't turn into one of those torrid murder unrequited love type things! HAHA! :OD
Watch your back just in case lol, but if it does happen take notes...would be one helluva story lmao
I would ride him like am old tricycle and then dunno him in the sea. That would learn him!! 😀😀
Did your 'jefe' actually try to crack jokes/ act like you hoping to have more success in his meetings hahaha! Hilarious! Sounds like he admires you, tsunami warnings or not.
He did a fair imitation of me. I am not convinced he was even attempting not to be offensive in his mimicry, the vagabond! :OD
What's the saying - impersonation is the best for of flattery, or something like that 😆
I don't get his turtle egg joke though. Is that an inside office joke thing or just straight up crazy nonsense?
It was just straight up crazy nonsense. He repeated it throughout the day and I think he was trying to be funny about balls! I am going out was just a mad Friday and he isn't becoming unhinged!
Haha I see. I figured that it was about balls.
I suspect whatever his plans are for the weekend they are gonna be wild 🤣🤣
I just imagine you were not diplomatic at this point and you said thia out loud 😂🙈 that "he was an odious toad and that a lot of people thought he was a useless wanker" I bet el jefe would have come after you with a good fight.
Haha, If I had said that I might be looking for another job! LOL! :O)
Being funny is harder than people think. It's not just saying random shit like kids do. He's doomed.
Exactly, saying random words does not comedy make!!
If anything he entertained himself though 😀😀
You should be flattered by the impersonation at least. Not sure it's going to work out well for el jefe though...
I will just make even more fun of his big shaky boobs behind his back :OD
You Boom'ing fret to El-Jefe me thinks...?
Lost in midst with battle of the bulge, mook fluff muck yikes, no humour, more like dead parrot, cuckoo landed yup!
!BEER
I think he is just lashing out. Possibly at me cos he thinks I am Mr Perfect, even though he is the boss and gets paid a fortune, lol!
Sounds familiar.., lowly paid wukker, over paid pansy lashing out abuse 👹perceived Mr Perfect, jealousy ensues....
Overpaid pansy, heh heh. Love it!
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El-Jefe is really funny😂😂 and must be a very good impersonator
He is a terrible impersonator!!! But he is a bit funny in sooner ways 🤣🤣
You know El Jefe has lost the fucken plot when he starts impersonating you Boomy. Call the boys in white lab coats and tell them to bring the straight jacket, it's time for El Jefe to go to the funny farm and get lobotomized.
Him and his turtles eggs, I mean #WTBF!
Exactly #WTBF. He needs his head seeing too. He is under the pressure now!
It was quite a hilarious impression right enough. If only for how shite it was! :OD
There can be only one Boomy. You're it bro.
Haham why thank ya mate! I like to think so!
You're like the Highlander man, only one, and all. Remember that film?
Oh man, I certainly do. Bloody loved it, shite accents and all!
The accents...hilarious. the acting wasn't much better. Good movie though. Now I want to watch it.
Has El-Jefe got some Arabian blood in there somewhere, middle-eastern descent, funny accent?
Haha, I bet he could do a great Borat!!
That was one of the most ridiculous jokes I've ever heard. Sometimes things that try to be funny make you laugh because they're not funny. The boss certainly doesn't know how to be funny. This is going to make his ass hurt even more XD
I think that was certainly the case. It was so painfully unfunny that I couldn't help giggling at it! 🤣🤣
You are unique, and I think your boss needs to stick his belly button an isotope with hydrogen peroxide take it out and smell it, so must be his behavior of bewilderment and misconduct with his work planning rotten as his belly button.
That boss of yours envies you for your action-oriented ability and good leadership...
I can only imagine what dwells within his belly button zone. Something horrifying no doubt!! 😀
jajja the monster of the black lagoon jajja of rotten just like his brain by grumpy 🤣🤣🤣
I like the monster of the black lagoon!! Defo that!!
Something like this comes out of your boss's belly button 🤣 OMG 🙃
Aiyeee!!! lol
I guess the whole impersonation thing didn't work out for El Jeje, that was cruel of him I would say. Thanks for writing and have a great weekend.
L one day he will learn his lesson!! 😀😀
🤣 it's a serious attitude problem he has. Poor man with a pork medallion of a finger.
Lol, that is one of many problems then! 😀😀
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It would be a sight to see that for sure! :OD
Hi @meesterboom ,Let's be honest, your boss is envious of you hahahaha, he was rehearsing to be you in the office hahahaha, man, the way people are is what distinguishes them from others, it is impossible for that man to be similar to you.
I'm here imagining that I act like you hahahaha, it's not possible, I lack that spark of humor, another issue, you have more empathy with some people than me, I don't even have blue eyes hahahaha, your boss is a fool, let it be himself and stop so much nonsense.
I wish you a happy weekend
He is abn absolute fool. I think he even believes himself that he isn't but he is.
Its nice to have someone be envious even if they are an idiot, lol!
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