Thank you for your kind words. I had not realized how long I have spent working with the disabled until my wife passed. It is three months today. I have spent time contemplating the 36 years I was privileged to spend with her. Things were not always perfect but we worked through issues. It also came clear that 30 of the 36 years together, we were caring for the disabled in our home. Her health at the time was in the early stages of deteriorating. After we married, she started working with the disabled through my company and a non-profit company. It was her idea of taking people into our home. She was a loving person and cared for people and animals alike. Before I took over the care in 2018, she struggled to keep doing it, and I had to start helping a lot besides my own work.
Since her passing, I also have pondered on what our married life would have been like if we had not taken this path. I have no idea what it would have been like. I do try to imagine it. Doing what we did seemed right. It felt right. My wife was a beautiful woman physically, but more importantly, her inner self had great beauty. I recall in the months prior to her passing, she was upset about how worn out I was getting. I believe from where she is at, she is 100% supportive of what I am now doing. That gives me solace.
Forgive my ramblings. Sometimes I start writing and it keeps flowing out.
@r2cornell...
Ramble away! It serves no purpose, keeping everything inside. You should already know... sometimes, when you're holding all those dear souls up... you still need those you've brought along, to help lift you up...
Everyone needs to re-ground themselves sometimes!
It sounds like she also had quite a positive influence on the lives of other people. You should take solace in the fact that you're still going after your personal goals at this stage... indeed, you know your wife's wishes best, not to mention your own!
And no need to ask for forgiveness. The words you choose to write come from a place of experience and wisdom. Someone who chooses to read them may gather value and learn from you. Additionally, as I've come to realize from personal experience, writing out your thoughts can be a great way to process and digest information, as well as to reflect upon oneself. Please harbor no regrets for doing so!