(This'll be a series, and I'll be writing and completing it whenever I've got time, so don't get too excited, please.)
(Edit: revised the first paragraph to be more "show, don't tell". Thanks for noticing this, @godfish.)
(Edit2: I've done some additional small revisions and fixes to the text, mainly fixing the colours of the domestic animals.)
Tallitonttu
“Good work, girl. We are all done for today. Here, have some oats”, said Sami calmingly patting the chestnut mare trembling with fatigue. “It sure was rough one. How on earth were there so many rocks in that patch? And those roots were just insane! I'm surprised we survived.”
Sami had inherited the small farm with its livestock after his late old father had gotten ill with the English malady and having died in the hands of a village healer while letting.
While he was grooming the mare, a curious pair of green eyes peered from the shadows, silently observing his actions.
“Quit whining, Kuoma, there's nothing there”, he told to the pied black and white dog at his feet. “Or do you see something I don't? Maybe it's my father's ghost, or a spirit.”
The mare neighed and tossed her beautiful flaxen-maned head, as if she too had heard or sensed something extraordinary.
“There, there Hilla! Not you too...” laughed Sami. “Drink up, and here's some more oats for you when you've done!”
After having groomed Hilla, Sami lead her to her stall, removed her halter and closed the door behind her to ensure she settled in comfortably. He placed a bucket of oats in her feeding trough, along with a fresh flake of hay. He then affectionately patted her neck and said goodnight, as he left the stable.
Stepping inside his house, a moment of concern appears on his face, but Sami soon shrugs it off. “I can always pay them later. There's no hurry...” he thought “...perkeleen taalerit, killinkit ja pyörylät” he said out loud.
Meanwhile, in the stable, the green eyes blinked for a while, as if pondering what they had seen, before fading away into the darkness.
“Hyvin tehty, tyttö. Työt ovat ohi tältä päivältä. Tässä, ota vähän kauraa”, sanoi Sami tyynesti taputellen rasituksesta värisevää rautiasta tammaansa. “Sepä olikin rankka homma. Kuinka ihmeessä tuolla palstalla oli niin paljon kiviä? Ja ne juuret... järjettömiä! Olipa ihme, että selvittiin siitä hengissä.”
Sami oli saanut pienen maatilan elikoineen perinnöksi engelskantaudin kourissa kuppauksen aikana kyläparantajan käsiin kuolleelta isävainaaltaan.
Hänen siinä tammaa sukiessaan, katseli vihreä kiinnostunut silmäpari häntä varjoista, hiljakseen hänen toimiaan tarkkaillen.
“Lakkaahan inisemästä, Kuoma! Ei siellä mitään ole”, komensi hän mustan ja valkoisen laikuttamaa koiraa jaloissaan. “Vai näetkö siellä jotain mitä minä en? Ehkä se on isävainaan haamu, tai joku henkiolento.”
Tamma hirnui ja heijasi kaunista liinakkoharjaista päätään, kuin sekin olisi jotain erikoista kuullut tai vaistonnut.
“Noh noh Hilla! Älähän nyt sinäkin...” nauroi Sami. “Juo pois, ja tässä vähän lisää kauroja, siksi kun olet juonut!”
Harjattuaan Hillan, Sami vei tamman pilttuuseen, otti pois valjakset ja sulki takasen varmistaen, että tamma on asettunut sinne mukavasti. Hän asetti ämpärillisen kauroja kaukaloon tuoreen heinälaakan kera. Taputellen tammansa kaulaa hellästi, hän lausui sille vielä hyvät yöt poistuessaan tallista.
Astuttuaan taloon, hetkellinen huolen häivä kävi hänen kasvoillaan, mutta Sami ravisti sen nopeasti mielestään. “Voinhan aina maksaa heille myöhemmin. Ei kiirettä...” hän ajatteli, “...perkeleen taalerit, killinkit ja pyörylät”, sanoi hän ääneen.
Sillä aikaa pimeässä tallissa, vihreät silmät räpyttelivät hetkisen, kuin miettien näkemäänsä, kadoten sitten pimeyteen.
I'm not sure if you are going to like this kind of content from my blog, but I am very interested to know what you think about it. So please comment below. I'm going to keep using the term "tonttu" instead of "elf", because the Finnish term doesn't really have an English equivalent.
The term "tallitonttu" means a tonttu whose dominion, or home is generally the stable. ("Talli" = "Stable")
The names Kuoma and Hilla have meanings too, "kuoma" being "buddy" or "friend", and "hilla" means "cloudberry".
"Perkele" is the devil, and "taaleri", "killinki" and "pyörylä" or "runstykki" are Finnish folk names of the "riksdaler", "skilling", and "rundstycke" that were the denominations of money in use in the early 17th century Finland under the Swedish rule.
If you have any ideas or advice, please share them all! I am very interested in hearing your tips and opinions.
Wow what a nice content and very good movies and I'll be very glad to participate with you in the movie
The title tonttu what's the meaning lol I will really like to know
A tonttu is a small, typically shorter than half a meter tall, or even as tiny as a thumb, bearded fellow with a pointy hat. They often have a stout and slightly chubby physique, often portrayed as mischievous and whimsical in nature.
Their pointed hats are often red or green, and can have a bell or tassel hanging from the tip. Tonttus are known for their wrinkled faces, rosy cheeks, and bright, twinkling eyes that convey a sense of curiosity and playfulness. They are often depicted wearing traditional clothing, such as a tunic or vest, and sometimes seen carrying a walking stick or lantern.
So if you see those so-called "gnome" statues somewhere, that's sometimes what a tonttu might look like. Tonttus however are not gnomes.
Thanks I really appreciate.
I hadn't known you're Finnish :))
Anyways, from a random reader's point of view, I'd expect the opening part to be longer and intriguing to make me crave for more if you know what I mean. The art of taking a reader into the manor of your fantasy is subtle but it makes the difference. Also, there's something that is said to be introduced by Hitchcock into cinematography but has thousands of year of tradition in literature - making a reader understand the background without having to tell them in a straightforward way as it makes one feel rather stupid (and eventually leave the novel or short story for something that wouldn't treat them as a dummie).
I know what you mean, "show, don't tell", but I don't really see how it applies. The short opening, yes, while it can be read as a short short story by itself, is an open ended one. Hence "Part 1", but to tell more would be telling.
:)
I was thinking about what it could be that I would be "telling" in this story, and it did come to me, that you meant the two paragraphs about ploughing and Sami's inheritance. Yes, I see they may be a bit too detailed, but since they are going to be part of the larger story, they kind of have to be told. I will think about this and amend my script.
Thanks for noticing this.
You're welcome :) you know, it is always easy to notice somebody else's flaws, yet it doesn't mean I know how to improve it or write it better myself ;)
It's alright, I think I know it myself, how to rewrite it and make it better.
“Good work, girl. We are all done for today. Here, have some oats”, said Sami calmingly patting the chestnut mare trembling with fatigue. “It sure was tough today. How on earth were there so many rocks in the field, and those roots were insane! I'm surprised we survived.”
I've yet to think about how to incorporate the inheritance into the dialogue, or otherwise describe what had happened, but I think I'll find a way eventually.
$WINE
Thank you for the 50 HP Delegation. To what do I owe the honor for that blessing?🙂
!PIZZA gracias thanks
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@sacra97(4/10) tipped @gamer00 (x2)
Thank you for the HP Delegation
!PIZZA