✦ This is a note about my recent encounters with people with sociopathic, mythopathic and obsessive behaviors. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that these people will find the help they need to overcome their disorders and live a full life, filled with harmony and meaningful goals - Edition made in FotoJet, photos by @Tesmoforia ✦
🇪🇸 ~ Últimamente y cada vez con más frecuencia, me encuentro con personas que dicen o hacen cosas absolutamente descabelladas. Es como si hubieran perdido noción plena de la realidad (¿pérdida o atrofia de facultades?) como si no fueran ni remotamente consientes de la gravedad o el peligro que significa para ellos mismos y para los demas, su manera de comportarse.
🇺🇸 ~ Lately and more and more frequently, I meet people who say or do absolutely crazy things, as if they have lost all sense of reality (loss or atrophy of faculties?) as if they were not even remotely aware of the seriousness or the danger that their behavior means for themselves and for others.
✦ These mirrors have been occupying my thoughts for a few weeks, I saw them in a store near my house but when I went shopping I thought that I had to make an effort to buy only what I needed, that I should be more responsible with my money and not just buy something because it looked pretty and “small” ✦
He visto muchas cosas, tristemente, principalmente de jóvenes adultos (25 - 45), que se supone estan "en la flor de la vida" y uno imaginaria que estarían disfrutando de la plenitud de esa juventud, trabajando por sus sueños y el bienestar de los suyos; en su lugar, los veo y escucho invirtiendo varias horas al día -como si se tratara de un trabajo bien remunerado- en hablar mal de otras personas, también obsesiones con personas que rozan en la psicopatía, brotes de mitomanía, teatros muy incomodos, monólogos desbordantes de hipocresía, y una larguísima lista de comportamientos erráticos y "cringes" me han obligado a sentarme con seriedad y preguntarme: ¿¡Qué-está-pasando!?.
I have seen many things, sadly, mainly from young adults (25 - 45), who are supposed to be “in the prime of their lives” and one would imagine that they would be enjoying the fullness of that youth, working for their dreams and the welfare of their own; instead, I see and hear them investing several hours a day -as if it were a well-paid job- in badmouthing other people, also obsessions with people bordering on psychopathy, outbreaks of mythomania, very uncomfortable theatrics, monologues overflowing with hypocrisy, and a very long list of erratic behaviors and “cringes” have forced me to sit down seriously and ask myself: What-is-happening?!
✦ This kind of articles are my weakness. They are cute, small, practical and fit in the smallest purse. I thought that as the days went by I would forget about them and take a step forward in my goal of reducing unplanned micro purchases ✦
Conversando con una amiga psicóloga, ella me explicaba que ciertamente algo está pasando. Me explicaba que muchas personas entre ese rango de edad estan manifestando -en masa- síntomas de condiciones no tratadas a tiempo. Me explicaba que en estos casos en particular, es dificil ayudar a un adulto que no quiere mejorar, y lejos de insistir, en el caso de un adulto que siente placer dañando y lastimando a otros de forma indiscriminada -con patrones-, la recomendación que ella compartía era la técnica del "contacto cero".
Talking to a psychologist friend of mine, she explained that something is certainly going on. She explained that many people in that age range are manifesting - en masse - symptoms of conditions not treated in time. She explained that in these particular cases, it is difficult to help an adult who does not want to get better, and far from insisting, in the case of an adult who feels pleasure in harming and hurting others indiscriminately -repeatedly and reiterating-, the recommendation she shared was the “zero contact” technique.
✦ But that didn't happen, I couldn't forget them; several times a day I remembered those little pink boxes and imagined in which situations these mirror-combs would be useful for me. I was obsessed... and finally I bought them. I was so relieved when I had them in my hands! ✦
He visto muchas cosas, principalmente a inicios de año. El agresor que se victimiza cuando es descubierto, el "hater" que termina copiando la personalidad y forma de hablar de quien supuestamente odia, el envidioso que stalkea con religiosa dedicación y sin disimulo, y quizá el que más me a asombrado, el creador de novelas fantásticas (unos vecinos bastante peculiares que aseguran que la calle frente a su casa, que es vía principal de tránsito para todos, es de su propiedad... ¡yo sigo esperando que nos muestren el contrato!, pero en lugar de eso han llamado a la policía y a los bomberos para amedrentar a la Junta de Condominio cuando les han dicho que no pueden cerrarla a su gusto)... en fin, que perturbador es ver la malicia tan de cerca.
I have seen many things, especially at the beginning of the year. The aggressor who victimizes himself when he is discovered, the “hater” who ends up copying the personality and way of speaking of the one he supposedly hates, the envious who stalks with religious dedication and without dissimulation, and perhaps the one that has amazed me the most, the creator of fantastic novels (some very peculiar neighbors who claim that the street in front of their house, which is a main road for everyone, is their property? I am still waiting for them to show us the contract, but instead they have called the police and the fire department to intimidate the Condominium Board when they have been told that they cannot close it as they please)... in short, how disturbing it is to see the malice so closely.
✦ These mirrors are an example, in my case, of the kind of things that can occupy my thoughts -I think of pretty things, of crafts, of how to make something, I think of the book I have to read and what I would like to cook tomorrow- I like pretty things with rounded edges and pastel colors... I can't help but wonder, if that's how sociopathic people feel about bad subjects, when they want to hurt others... those dark thoughts, are they like what I feel about these little mirrors? ✦
Tambien me encuentro con situaciones donde las personas han estado, innecesaria e injustificadamente, altamente a la defensiva: Si alguien dice que le gusta el color azul, algún otro salta a gritarle que del color rojo no va a estar hablando mal. Es como si tuvieran un dialogo interno que es al único que le prestan atención, y no a la persona que tienen en frente que explica las cosas con calma y coherencia. ¿De dónde ha venido toda esta violencia?, ¿qué quieren probar?, ¿no ven que se hacen daño a sí mismos?, lejos de quedar como héroes, pierden toda credibilidad al mostrarse como personas incoherentes, incongruentes, ¿olvidan que tanto aqui como en China, a nadie le gustan los malévolos?.
I also come across situations where people have been, unnecessarily and unjustifiably, highly defensive: If someone says they like the color blue, someone else jumps in and yells at them that they are not going to be badmouthing the color red It is as if they have an internal dialogue that is the only one they pay attention to, and not the person in front of them who explains things calmly and coherently. Where has all this violence come from, what do they want to prove, don't they see that they are hurting themselves, far from looking like heroes, they lose all credibility by showing themselves as incoherent, incongruent people, do they forget that here as well as in China, nobody likes the malevolent ones?.
✦ I have a lot of questions but also a lot of patience. I like to connect the dots until I find possible answers ✦
Frente a todo esto, no consigo molestarme o sentir enojo, agradezco más que nunca haber invertido tanto tiempo y esfuerzo en educarme -todavía lo hago, todos los días-. Lejos de juzgar, no paro de hacerme una pregunta tras otra, y sin juzgar, una vez que salgo del asombro, siempre termino en el mismo punto: Sentir profunda empatía, y genuina compasión.
In the face of all this, far from being annoyed, I am more grateful than ever to have invested so much time and effort in educating myself -I still do, every day. Far from judging, I keep asking myself one question after another, and without judging, once I come out of my astonishment, I always end up at the same point: Feeling deep empathy, and genuine compassion.
Cuando analizo una y otra vez todos estos escenarios, personas, discusiones, mentiras, dramas... lo primero que siento es pena, y un profundo sentimiento que me habla de que estas personas estan sufriendo una dolorosa desconexión de todo lo que es bueno, valioso e importante. Luego me pregunto, ¿cuáles serán los motivos, razones o detonantes de esa desconexión?.
When I analyze again and again all these scenarios, people, arguments, lies, dramas... the first thing I feel is sorrow, and a deep feeling that tells me that these people are suffering a painful disconnection from everything that is good, valuable and important. Then I ask myself, what are the motives, reasons or triggers for this disconnection?.
Ciertamente no vivimos en un mundo ideal, y la ingeniería social que nos han y siguen aplicando no está hecha para hacernos ni saludables, ni felices ni mucho menos plenos. ¿Quién tiene las herramientas, los recursos o la disposición para buscar la cura o el alivio de todos esos comportamientos horripilantes?, es mucho pedirle al envidioso que lea sobre el origen de su envidia en lugar de acosar a quien envidia, está complicado decirle al sociópata que debe reconocer que él es su mayor y principal problema, no las personas que ha escogido como objetivos de sus obsesiones.
We certainly do not live in an ideal world, and the social engineering that has been and continues to be applied to us is not meant to make us healthy, happy or even fulfilled. Who has the tools, the resources or the disposition to seek a cure or relief from all these horrifying behaviors?, it is too much to ask the envious person to read about the origin of his envy instead of harassing the one he envies, it is complicated to tell the sociopath that he should recognize that he is his biggest and main problem, not the people he has chosen as targets of his obsessions.
No tengo las respuestas claras a estos planteamientos, pero la resiliencia en mí me lleva todos los días a querer entender qué está pasando, no solo quedarme con el ser empática, educada o paciente. ¿Es el stress del modo de vida?, ¿es el bombardeo de malas noticias por todos los medios digitales?, ¿es porque estamos atravesando un periodo de cambios que va una velocidad que nunca permite que nos adaptemos para conseguir una estabilidad antes que todo cambie de nuevo?, ¿es la incertidumbre?... si es asi, ¿los que tenemos una personalidad serena, práctica y calmada frente a este bombardeo de negatividad, ¿qué somos?.
I don't have clear answers to these questions, but the resilience in me leads me every day to want to understand what is going on, not just to be empathetic, polite or patient. Is it the stress of the way of life?, is it the bombardment of bad news through all the digital media?, is it because we are going through a period of changes at a speed that never allows us to adapt to achieve stability before everything changes again?, is it the uncertainty, if so, what are we?, those of us who have a serene, practical and calm personality in the face of this bombardment of negativity?.
Quizá no haya nada que entender, y simplemente las personas malvadas existen, y hay quienes tontamente queremos creer en que hay algo de sensatez y bondad que rescatar en el fondo de ellos. Maybe enserio está de moda "ser sincero" y eso, a conciencia y conveniencia, el peor tipo de persona se lo ha tomado literal: Que su sinceridad ha sido darle rienda suelta a la demencia... y en pro de la libertad de expresión, señalar a un mentiroso de ser mentiroso es una falta imperdonable a sus derechos más sagrados como individuo. ¿Qué locura verdad?, pero estoy segura que te has encontrado con ese escenario también, sobre todo en los años después de la pandemia.
Maybe there is nothing to understand, and simply evil people exist, and there are those of us who foolishly want to believe that there is some goodness and kindness to be rescued deep down inside them. Maybe seriously it is fashionable to “be sincere” and that, consciously and conveniently, the worst kind of person has taken it literally: That their sincerity has been giving free rein to insanity... and for the sake of free speech, pointing out a liar for being a liar is an unforgivable offense to their most sacred rights as an individual. What madness right?, but I'm sure you've encountered that scenario too, especially in the years after the pandemic.
Al final y con palabras muy simples, solo puedo pensar en que me gustaria que cada quien recordara lo que es importante (tus seres queridos, tus ideales, tus principios, tus pasiones), que la atención debes enfocarla en las cosas y los aspectos de la vida que te sumen y que también le hagan bien a tu entorno y a los demas. Lo opuesto, es triste condena. Y los que somos espectadores o víctimas, de pronto lo mejor es como dice mi amiga, por nuestra salud y el resguardo de nuestra energia y tiempo, "contacto cero".
In the end and with very simple words, I can only think that I would like everyone to remember what is important (your loved ones, your ideals, your principles, your passions), that you should focus your attention on the things and aspects of life that add to you and that also do good to your environment and to others. The opposite is sad condemnation. And those of us who are bystanders or victims, maybe the best thing to do is as my friend says, for our health and the protection of our energy and time, “zero contact”.
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✨ 🍓 All texts and images by @Tesmoforia 🍓 ✨
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