The question was “How do I deal with regrets and failures?”
My answer is as follows:
By Accepting them.
We all fail in our lives, and we all have regrets. I can think of plenty of times in my life where I have felt the sting of failure as well as regret, but that is an intrinsic part of life.
Failure and regret bring us pain, and pain leads us to discomfort. Humans, by nature, don’t like discomfort. When we feel it, we are compelled almost by instinct to regain a state of comfort. In order to do that, we must make a change, and in order to change, we must grow.
By accepting this, you begin to see your failures and regrets differently.
You begin to understand that a failure, when learned from, isn’t actually a failure at all, but a lesson. And this is what makes you grow as a person.
Use your pain as a strength. We feel negative emotions for a reason, we feel shame and regret and fail for a reason. Negative emotions are to be used as tools of growth. In fact, they’re some of the most powerful tools for growth at our disposal when thought of this way.
It all begins with your perspective. When you come at your failure and regret from a space of unacceptance, you fail to see the lessons within your mistakes and, as a result, become bound to them and doomed to repeat them.
Change how you process and experience your regrets and failures and you will change how they impact you.
I originally answered this question on Quora. You can find me here.
Let me know if you guys like these short insights and I’ll be sure to do more in the future!
Love how you show negative emotions like tools, not something that should be taken for granted like most of us do at some point.
Great blog, you defiantly have one new follower!
Hey thanks, so glad you stopped by and even happier you enjoyed!
I think negative emotions are some of the greatest tools we have for growth at our disposal if we learn how to transmute them correctly.
The thing about pain is that it demands to be felt unlike any other feeling, and because of that we are forced to pay attention to it. This makes it one of your most valuable teachers if we only choose to learn from our mistakes and listen to what our pain is telling us.
I couldn't agree more with you. Channeling negative emotions into creativity has helped me endlessly, both in being able to handle them better next time round, and in my creative endeavours =)
I think the problem many have is that they think they are channelling emotions when actually they are simply bottling them up and acting as though nothing bad has happened. Not many people are self-aware enough to know the difference...
Agreed, but maybe thats a stage some people have to work through in order to learn that.
Certainly it is important to learn from mistakes, at best that's why you shouldn't repeat them. In return, it may be right to reflect on the matter and to clarify the cause. However, the claim to grow ever further and beyond oneself may well mean to be a mistake in oneself, as well as to orient oneself constantly towards comfort. Less is more, and some uncomfortable things eventually generate more inner satisfaction.
Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Although we should strive towards growth, we shouldn't allow it to become "our comfort" so to speak. It's important that we continuously test and stretch our boundaries and that which makes us comfortable so we don't fall stagnate.
Stagnation could also be understood as a resting phase, such as the abandonment of fields in agriculture, for example, so that important internal nutrients can form, which can then continue in a next round of planting or be transferred to the subject of self-development on recuperated soil.
I've actually never thought of it like that.. very interesting insight, really appreciate you bringing it into my perspective : )
I couldn't agree more. It's only a failure if you let it be a failure. We are only victims if we choose to be. Learn from the past and find peace in the present to make the future better. :)
Agreed absolutely, thank you for your words and cant wait to read more from you! Are you on discord by chance?
Yep, I spend most of my time in the Minnow Support Discord.
Oh wow, now that you mention it I already knew that xD
This is so true. So many of us are trying to run away from those uncomfortable emotions which bring us even more discomfort. I've learned that if we ignore emotions like pain, regret or shame, we are only pushing them into some dark spot in our soul. What will end up happening is some emotional explosion which makes us feel even worse. Facing emotions is one of the most important thing when it comes to personal growth and gaining more mental and emotional strength.
Couldn't agree with you more, it's only by letting ourselves feel that which makes us uncomfortable that we allow ourselves to work through it. If we don't accept it, we cant ever make peace with it.
Thank you for your comment : )
Realizing the failures in life is difficult and once realized moving past them takes great strength. Great post I enjoyed
Thank you very much, so glad you enjoyed :)
Yes I agree on this @iamjustinscott. I have used all the negative emotions and change them to the positive...
The message is very similar with the message of Tadashi to Hiro in Big Hero 6. We have to look at different perspectives of life to succeed and overcome trials. We also have to use these failures for us to really grow, because they are motivators in our lives.
Best regards to you. Thanks for bringing me here. :)
Cant agree more! And of course, thank you for coming!
Also thank you for alluding to big hero 6, I'm gonna have to watch it again now!!
Nice one dude. One of the best animated movies I watched.
Dude watch Kubo and the two strings if you haven't yet. Work of art.
I think i have a copy of that too. But havent watched it yet. Thank you for the suggestion.
Well in this case, I'd have to tell you what my father always says.
"If you throw milk down the drain, can you get it back? No. So best is to accept that you will never get that milk back, accept it, and move on to remember next time not to make the same mistake. Worrying about it, won't bring the milk back, will it?"
Seems like both of us were raised by very wise men!
Great post!!!
Upvoted and resteemed!
Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed! And looks like your father gave wise advice, I hope it’s served you well :)
Yes, our past experiences, failures and otherwise, should be used as tools to help us move forward and live better lives. It can be hard to accept regrets and failures, but sometimes, they can change your life for the better.
I also think it helps to remember that you cannot change the past, but you can control how you act in the future.
Absolutely, thank you for your input : )
Totally agree that we have to use mistakes and failures as learning to grow and strengthen, that's what life is about overcoming obstacles to make us better people.
Exactly, couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for your input and for taking the time to read the work : )
Hi! I am a robot. I just upvoted you! I found similar content that readers might be interested in:
https://medium.com/the-mission/a-short-insight-on-dealing-with-regret-50f6012553c7
For any seeing this, please keep in mind that I am simply crossposting my article from medium over to steemit : )
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