Biden Sells Alaska Back To Russia

in #deepdives2 years ago


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“Folks, nobody wants to ruin America’s beautiful Alaskan wilderness with oil trucks and drilling rigs, come on!” said President Biden in response to questions he thought were coming from a house plant in the West Wing. “But I’ve never had a problem getting oil from Russia, so there you go, go get him.”

Jen Psaki praised Biden’s brilliance in finding a solution that would prevent an energy crisis while also preventing new drilling on American land. She pointed out succinctly to journalists, “You see, it’s not American land anymore; it’s Russian land.”

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I'd defend Alaska from Russians. The Tlingits already convinced them to sell it once. I think we could do it again.

Actually that was a joke. Click on the image. It's from the Babylon Bee. (the news paper of record)

I know. Biden couldn't sell paper bags to bagmen. The Tlingits did strongly discourage the Russians though. The Russian ships had cannon, which were bad for Tlingit villages. The Tlingits had big, bad ass warriors and rocks, so they would have a big, bad ass warrior swim out to a Russian ship at night with a rock, and bash holes in the hulls.

This saved many Tlingit villages. I was told they had never surrendered, just assimilated.

swimming in alaskan water? daaaayam. That's cold.

Yes. Yes, it was. However, as a young man I was willing to cavort in ice laden water if young ladies in wet underwear were. I personally proved the lies about being dead in three minutes if you were immersed in freezing water were false, spending hours with maidens so cavorting back when I had hormones. And very much fewer brain cells, apparently.

Uh... this can be funny day to see if they sell it back 🤭🤭🤭😆😆👌👌🍷