Dude, I totally understand where you are coming from, I felt thse things before. I actually can't disagree with what you say, it's truth, but there are other truths. If you change your focus a bit, you will have a better time and see more love come your way.
Getting whales attention is no doubt motivation for commenting on their posts. Is it the only motivation? No way! There are a bunch of whales and dolphins who do great things for the community like ausbitbank, benjojo, acidyo Etc. and others who create quality writing like stellabelle, trafalgar, meesterboom (I could go on).
I don't really know if the majority of whales do much for the community but I see enough who do that I don't need to get depressed about the ones who don't. All the whales I mentioned above have upvoted or commented on my posts. And I still have some posts that go totally ignored.
It does kind of suck vying for the attention of the big fish, I agree. There are far too many minnows who work hard without much appreciation. And as soon kissing is kind of incentivized. I'd also say that whales are in a bubble sometimes where they have a kind of "American dream" mentality about steemit. "Work hard and persevere and you can be like me." Some can, some can't, and it's not always about quality and who deserves it. Competition always has losers, and no one wants to be a loser, I would go as far as saying no one deserves to be a loser.
On the other hand, it's not really hard to get a handful of whales attention if you are sincere and doing something positive. Also, isn't it nice that we are motivated to go out and read each other's posts and comment to gain a following? Even if many of us are motivated by money, this dynamic allows us to support others and evoke more community focused. It's not all ass kissing.
At times I get a little upset about the unfair payouts I see, or how insincere some initiatives seem or the unfair distribution of wealth, or I start to doubt everyone's intentions. These are problems and you are right for bringing them up. When I feel low about all the bad stuff I find myself trying to strategize about how to get out of this tiny fish situation and I begin to feel less excited about this community and less inspired to try my best. Then I try to shift my focus back to what I really care about, building relationships and community with likeminded people. Even if steemit crashes, I have made at least 3 or 4 potentially life long friends. I've found future collaborators, and for the first time people are reading my stuff (god knows how hard it was to get people to check out my pareon).
Did I spend 30 minutes writing this comment to get an extra follower or to get stellabelles attention? I don't think so. Maybe? Sometimes it's hard to tell. Who cares though, because I know I'm sincere in what I say.
If you want to chat some time and find ways to make the situation better and more sincere here, let me know.