This Evening
I saw something today that humbled me.
Yeowch.
I hadn't thought about it that way. In fact, I'd say while it's not too late, I only realized how much hard work meant late. When I close my eyes, I can think of times where I just refused. I made up my mind, my reasons and I declined to do more. I can still catch myself excusing the past, if I'm honest. I mean, I woke up early, sure. It was a bitch, definitely. 5 AM is too early, I don't care if you're David Goggins. Or so I thought. Now, with the experience of what coming up short feels like, missing deadlines and goals, I'd trade a lot to go back and lean into the difficulty. But you know what they say. 'The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is today.' So barring any time machines, I'm going in now.
Earlier This Morning I Thought To Myself
I can’t knock the hustle, right? I could think personally that someone’s straight up gambling with memecoins, but I can’t tell them they’re wrong. I respect their conviction. I may not subscribe to that behavior myself, but they can and that’s their power.
Sometimes, I think people don’t realize the things they commit themselves to. I mean, I’m up after midnight typing a personal reflection, because I chose to play video games and banter with friends tonight. I had stuff I could’ve done too; I made a choice to socialize and sacrifice sleep.
I’m trying to strike a balance to personal commitments and my friends. I don’t want to be remembered as the guy who couldn’t make it, couldn’t hang out. People remember how you made them feel. I have also learned though, that means people also forget what you’ve done. The wrong ones will abuse this; they’ll minimize how much of an influence you were in things. The right ones are always glad you came; they know you could be busy doing other things, but they appreciate your sacrifice.
I think I always forget you cannot control anything but yourself. Maybe your reactions, too. People will not answer the way you want them to. Even a house cat can’t be tamed. I think it’s important to remember that what we give our time to, we cannot give to anything else.
We would all like to remembered, but doing things worth remembering takes time and effort. It’s work. It is not sexy. It’s a lot more fun to procrastinate because of perfectionism or never try to avoid failure. I said it before, but it’s my job to fail. It’s called troubleshooting. You literally attempt solutions until they work. I imagine there’s many things we wanna fix. But we don’t wanna troubleshoot.
Shock! This hits me hard😢