I spoke with a friend today after not speaking for a few months. He's been worrying away at a problem, an opportunity, that presented itself in the last few weeks and wanted my perspective. He knows I'll not tell him "what I would do" because I'm not him or in his situation, but considering our relationship he expected candour and knew he'd get some sense out of me; I gave him both.
There's a saying, the grass may not be greener on the other side of the hill, which means that changing one's existing situation for a new one may not always work out for the best. It could also suggest that one should be content with one's situation I guess, although I prefer the former interpretation. I agree with it generally, however I find the phrase somewhat lacking.
I believe it should say something like, the grass may not always be greener on the other side of the hill, however you won't know unless you go and find out.
Everything in our lives is an opportunity, even bad or challenging things. In my opinion, it's the challenges which are a greater opportunities. If we can see the opportunity in those difficulties, put thoughts, attitudes and actions together to chase it down, then we're more likely to turn it to our advantage...but that brings the risk of failure, poor or undesirable results and possibly more challenges, so many don't try.
Staying in place is safe. Doing hard things, making a concerted effort, getting out of our comfort zones and breaking new ground often makes us uncomfortable, feel awkward, emotionally vulnerable and so on - That's why people stay in place, for the comfort of it - but at what cost comes this comfort?
I've done some very uncomfortable things in life, as have others, and been in situations that made me feel fear and apprehension, inadequate and out of place, some even made me want to duck for cover and never pop my head back up again; the thing is, I chose those situations knowing if I did not I may not move myself forward. I'd made the decision to see if the grass was greener over there, wherever there happened to be - a physical or emotional place.
Looking back on those occasions, I can see that my progress and success, such that it is, and my life in general, has been more fulfilled, enjoyable and complete because I stepped away from my comfort zone and went to places, physically and emotionally, that challenged me.
My friend and I spoke about this, and many other things. He came to me for my experience, some of which he has experienced alongside me, and to tell me his thoughts. The grass may not be greener phrase came up and, considering the situation he is faced with, I agree. The personal and professional gain that [potentially] exists is solid, but should things not work out to plan [which is often how things go] he'll be a little exposed and unable to revert to the previous reality.
I didn't tell him this but, if it was me I'd follow the opportunity and own the decision, good or bad, make the best of either case, but I'm not sure yet as to what he will do.
Have you ever been in a situation in which you had a decision or choice to make that could be very positive in one aspect but potentially damaging if it didn't go to plan? I'd be surprised if everyone hadn't found themselves in this situation at least once in life.
Feel free to tell me about it in the comments, the situation [if you can share it], what you did and how things turned out for the better or worse.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
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I have to say, this line ended up hitting close to home the most. All our life, the grass may not always be greener on the other side works as a reminder to be content with where you are. But sometimes, you have to break out of that comfortable boundaries to discover who you truly are. Now that its time to break out from my own self created comfort after years of building it, your post really hit close to the home :')
Well, it more or less often happened during the rapid educational environment shifting as I happened to have a total of eight schools through out my life [Because of my parents jobs]. But the most horrific one was during one of university admission viva. Now, I wasn't aware about the dreadfulness of any kind of admission viva before and during that time, my parents simply told me, went there and do what everyone else does. When I went into the room, it turned out to be the admission process of theatre and performance department. Now, I don't know a single thing about theatre or acting nor did I have any desire to study in this subject but the fate had other plans for my sorry ass.
When my time came for the viva, one man told me, Okay, so imagine you are sitting in you living room, suddenly a phone call came from aboard. The person from the other side inform you that your husband is dead. Now act it out.
My awkward, vulnerable sorry ass never even thought about relationship let along husband. I didn't know what to do, but under their intense watch, I had no other choices but to act.
So I simply used my hand as a cell-phone and started the conversation which went like this:
-- Hello.
-- ...
-- He is dead?
-- ...
-- Okay. Keep the body. (hang up)
Till this day, I remember every single one of their reaction XD
Breaking out of that comfortable place is often required to reach a little further or higher than one things is possible. Comfort is nice, but it can be self-limiting. Some will be content though, happy to stay in a convenient and comfortable boundary...I am not such a person.
I liked your story about that admission thing. I was reading thinking, hmm, what will she do? And then...you didn't do anything at all as I expected! I can imagine what their faces were like. 😉
It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if it was originally something like that 😆 though I thought it was a fence but that just means it became more local. Guess it’s a way to excuse forever being content with what you have? (Not necessarily a bad thing either unless it makes you incapable of coping with change and adapting I guess)
I have known people to be content with what they have, but life is a little more complicated than just being content with what they have, certainly these days. It's not just about things though, it's about who a person is, how they develop and grow emotionally and how they learn about life, themselves and others. All of this requires effort, and getting outside the comfortable places they self-limit to.
Some are incapable of change, but those people would never read a post like this to the end; they'd give up.
It came to my mind the time I dropped out of a university because I felt like I wasn't learning anything new and it was outdated, what they taught there in two years was really something I could learn in 2 months of learning in a course or even online. And at the same time that I was perceiving this, the economic situation in my country Venezuela began to worsen very quickly, luckily the decision I made was the right one, I was able to work and help out at home, the job allowed me to pay for some courses where I ended learning more than in college.
sometimes we have to get out of the comfort zone to make great progress.
Yep, that's exactly what I'm talking about.. the ability to reach a little further, try a little harder and put oneself into some discomfort for the greater good. Good job!
Well in my case it was getting married at 21, something that many people told me was a very bad idea and although I'm not going to lie, it was very difficult the first year. But right now I enjoy many good things, one of the first is to have a faithful and loyal partner who helps me when I need it most, plus we have been able to take the problems together and encouraging each other, so I do not regret the decision, I know there are problems, but there are more good things than bad things that are on the road.
With two people pulling in the same direction at the same time much more can be achieved. Well don't for sticking together and working together, if you continue to do so I think you'll continue to find great rewards. ✅
I think I understand what your friend needed and also I also got to understand why you advised him.
I have been in a situation that if i tool the right step, it would favour me and also at the same backfire, it was a few years back, though after i followed the right step , it hurt in many ways, but today i never regret on making that decision for myself.
Sometimes taking those steps forward can turn out to be very difficult, hurtful or damaging...But without them we'll never know, and we'll never know what may be possible. Well done for pushing forward.
Yes you are right,
Thanks
I have been able to make decisions myself.... sometimes I like to indulge in the company of others throwing their opinions about such thought or plans l just to get another insight entirely different than mine...
I guess he should stand up no matter what the case maybe, it's not so easy of course I know, but dwelling in your comfort just because you think that it might not work out whereas for sure you haven't seen what the future held. Is like being trapped in a cell of his own home and predicting what might not be....I like to see for myself!
You gave him a candid advice on what to do ...and your mindset is just so positive...you have a huge mind of your own...and you make things work out which I sort of admire and would love to walk in that steps!..very practical!
I appreciate this piece of article🙏
It's always good to get an insight into what others' perspectives may be, but ultimately, I believe a person should make their own decisions and own the outcomes.
Yes! I agree on that!
Making decisions should be a personal thing!
Hmmmm
Reading your blog reminds me of when I wanted to leave my old job because it was toxic. I was discussing with a friend of mine and she said “The devil I know is better than the angel I don’t”
My reply was that the devil could end up killing me one day, so I’d rather take the chance of going with the angel. I would never know if the angel is good or bad if I don’t take the chance.
Staying in toxic environments rarely goes well, whether it's a relationship, friendship or work. It's also a good idea to back yourself rather than simply do what others may suggest.
We cant achieve our goals or reach our true peak potential if we don't make the present uncomfortable to us. We humans are able to make our best decisions when in uncomfortable situation.
It'll be a new experience for your friend if he can embrace the other side and own up to it if its not greener like he might've imagined.
I agree with you, a certain amount of discomfort is good to push one towards better results; being too comfortable could lead a person to stay in a situation that may not be suitable.
Your friend also picks up the green grass by asking you about it, Mr. @galenkp.
You are absolutely right, and the saying always asks us to take the opportunities that come our way. I think an opportunity doesn't really come, we have to pick it up.
The analogy of seeing grass next to a hill is a vivid example. There is a chance to confirm it, but we are physically and mentally we must be prepared to explore the part of the hill that is full of risks.
But a risk is always worth the physical and mental sacrifice, right?
I once had to make a decision on getting people in my power to do things they didn't like. We agree on many things and mitigate risks together. In short, when we succeed, most of them say, "Why not from the beginning of the year we work on this good opportunity?"
It's looking for, and chasing, opportunities that has caused humanity to thrive, learn new things and develop as individuals and collectively. Of course, not everyone is that way inclined, some like to stay in place, to settle for whatever it is they have and that's ok too. There's always going to be those who rise to challenge and those who avoid it.
The more I read your blogs, the more I adore your positive mindset about life. It's practical, challenging, and risky. On the other hand, you could also gain a huge harvest of experience doing that thing. I've noticed that you said, you get out of the comfort zone so that you will be challenged both physically and mentally. This plays a crucial role to expand our practicality and learn on how to adjust life, where we could put ourselves in the safest way possible. !PIZZA
Thanks mate, this is a nice compliment.
Chasing opportunities, and have the sort of mindset that causes one to want to, can indeed be risky, but as long as the risk is weighed against the reward and planned for or mitigated, then usually the decision is easy...for me at least.
Indeed, it's how I learn, test my limits, so I can understand how and where to improve, skill-up, and then have another try. A person never got from one place to another without moving right?
What a great article I must say, so much of great Ingredients on it.
I really believe on this with so much of my heart. Facing challenging times is a part of life everyone will live to see. The ability to live through it,learn the lessons is the much gain to it. I have learnt to realize that those I call rich, wealthy or doing well in life are actually those that found solutions to some pressing problems.
Challenges will visit every one of us at some stage, it's inevitable, and one isn't always prepared for it. Through tackling problems, adversity and challenges head on teaches us many valuable lessons though, and if done enough a person can begin to understand themselves a little more, and that helps them to deal with the next challenge just a little better.
That's true my friend, I believe that wholeheartedly. I just hope and pray that the stamina to survive and learn from my challenges will we develop.
The stamina to do so is inside us all, we just need to find and unleash it. The right thoughts and attitudes help, also ownership, discipline and responsibility.
Surely, that's true
I like the way you changed it. You don't know the color of the grass until you see it.
Something like this happened to me. When I was in the 6th grade, I got an offer from a private school. They said that they would take care of all my education expenses, they just wanted me to go and study at that school. Because I was the smartest student in my school, I always got the highest scores. Basically, the offer was perfect, they would provide my accommodation and I would be able to study without paying an amount of money that my family would normally have difficulty paying, and the school was the best school in that district.
My parents were undecided and asked for my opinion. I wanted to go and stay at the school for a week and when I got there I realized that it was not the place I wanted. They forced the students to do religious prayers and they woke them up very early in the morning. I don't know what would have changed in my life if I had gone there, but I am very happy with my life now and I am glad I didn't go. Afterwards they already had problems with the government and the school was closed lol.
That's a good story and example of how a little knowledge and understanding of what might be over the fence or other side of the hill can lead to better decisions. Of course, sometimes we don't get that chance, however you did and you benefitted from it.
I cringed when I read the, "forced the students to do religious prayers and they woke them up very early in the morning"...It makes me wonder what else might have been done to the students. It seems you dodged a bullet.
Certainly, I feel very sorry for the students who go there without having that chance. Some families also send their children there for religious worship. Everything should be done freely, not under pressure.
Yeah, I agree but with sometimes with religion people tlget a little overexcited and push a bit too hard. It's been that way for a long time. At least you managed to avoid it.
Yes I have been and in many, to the point that I no longer plan so much my sense of life because it involves both sides with success or failure, getting out of the comfort zone or staying comfortable ...they are opportunities and experiences and when they are taken on the fear of uncertainty is present.
Right now I am in that in leaving my country or staying...the time to decide the new script in my life story is my ally, of what will come, wanting more life and health .... Certainly, I return to the confidence that all will be well, that my power of choice fills me with opportunities and that it places everything in its space and time.
In the case of your friend, he found a reliable answer from you Mr. Galen, your good friend, your active listening, friendship, and accompaniment that is a big plus to moving forward in making the decision.
There's a time to plan and a time not to I guess, the trick is knowing when to use either method. The decision to leave or stay in your current country is a huge decision indeed and I'd imagine there's so many things to consider. I hope you manage to find the right choice, and if you make the wrong one, I hope you make other decisions that help you deal with it. That's the thing really, we all make good and bad decisions, but either way we have to live with them.
You can't always tell if the grass if the grass is greener or not until you leave your location to check it out.
You could go there and it's not green enough but you water it
You can as well go there and everywhere is evergreen, your luck
And the last one which is not an option is staying in your comfort zone, afraid of taking risk and exploring new opportunities.
The decision is solely yours, but it is advisable to always step out of your comfort zone and face new challenges.
I agree with this completely as the context of my posts suggests. Well said.
I agree with you about what you, friend @galenkp says, I think that deep down we always know what we have to do, but the fear that things won't turn out as expected is what makes one doubt decision-making, we always seek an opinion so that it gives us more encouragement to continue, you do well not to compare him with yourself because one thing is what you would do and another is what he could do. I remember that I always asked my mother for advice and more than advice it was to be able to unburden myself with her about my problems and she always told me: put things on a scale to see which way it leans, if it is positive or negative and then you take the decision. I never compared myself to her nor did she ever make the decision, she always listened to me and I always felt that she gave me the best advice.
Your mother was a very smart lady I think, and by not giving you direct advice, telling you what to do, she made you reach your own conclusions which taught you valuable lessons to take into your future. That's smart parenting.
Thank you very much friend, I think the same way.
Very well said man.We should dive first and think then. We should embrace new changes. As you said who knows what's oposite side of the hill. To know it ,we must visit it.💥🔥
"Jekhane dekhibe chai uraia dekhio Tai paileo paite Paro amullo ratan" Rabindranath Tagore.
Meaning:
If you find ashes, make them fly; you can have gems inside.
That's a good saying!
Nice reflection, life put us always in situations where it is difficult to decide.
Thank you, and yes, life likes to throw some twists and turns into our path for sure.
You are welcome!
😂 A new perspective
Yep, and if people took it on board they may find their courage to step forward and out of their (self-limiting) comfort zone.
I would say that this is the case for many people but for others its the other way around. Your advice of pursuing new paths is very valid for those that are risk averse, however in many other cases people are pursuing too many new endeavours with stopping to assess and think.
For some people is better to stay where they are. Being able to be happy and fulfilled without pursuing something new all the time is an art as well. As always, the answer is somewhere in the middle.
This is possibly true...I don't mind people staying in place, withing their boundaries be it physical or mental...It leaves more for me to chase.
The beginning of all trouble is ME!
Have a nice day everyone! 👋☀️
I've said that in the past too.
...and every repetition has its own value. 😉👋
@galenkp 🌹
There's a bible story of Abraham and God to leave his land (comfort zone) to a land flowering with milk and honey. But from afar the new land didn't look very fertile until they crossed to the other side.
My life became more meaningful when I left my comfort to an environment I knew no body started a life slept in the cold , days without good food and no bathe but such case didn't last long I met a destiny helper and my life story had a divine turn around. Take the decision to make move don't think you will fail even if you fail you try again and again.
Choosing not to make a decision is a decision in itself although, not always a very good one as one can't take the right action when they ignore a situation, they become a passenger. So, making a decision to move a certain way is the best way to work towards an advantageous result, or a better position and yeah, sometimes there's a few bumps in the road.
This is true, rather than not trying, we rather try as there's no harm in trying they say. Nature and people would be happier that you tried and failed than become a looker and a mediocre.
I take the decision, and it's my decision and I'm happy trying.
cool friend
Support for you.
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I have been there but i think i made the right choice I'm happy with it
To know you made the right decision is a good endorsement of your decision-making skills.
-The grass may not always be greener on the other side of the hill, however, you won't know unless you go and find out.
This is powerful! I am a woman who loved to explore and take some risks to see if the other side of the hill is greener. You are right, we will never know if we don't go for it and found it for ourselves. Though there are many times that the things there never go with my plans and frustrate me somehow, what matter is that I have learned from it than leaving all the "what if" without giving it a try.
Life can be frustrating at times, but it's through they often make us think differently and that can lead to new ideas and directions and with some action we might move closer to the outcomes we desire. 😊