Every year, millions of people make resolutions to change their habits.
But how long do those resolutions stick?
A week? A month...
Whenever you pick up bad habits or get in debt, you promise to change your habits.
But how long do your new habits stick?
I have tried to change my habits multiple times. But I slip back into my old routines after a couple of days or weeks.
What's the reason?
Many scientists and habit experts have mentioned numerous times that our brain has two parts — the rational and the emotional.
The rational part makes a plan to improve your life. But the emotional side is difficult to control. So, it makes it challenging to execute the plan.
The conflict between two parts is why you fail to improve.
The Angel And Devil Of The Brain
When I read books, I look for common patterns.
If an idea is common in multiple fields, it should be applicable in most parts of life.
One idea I often find in many books is that humans have two brains: one emotional and one logical.
Daniel Kahneman mentioned this behaviour in his book "Thinking Fast and Slow". And Jonathan Haidt explained this concept in his book, "The Happiness Hypothesis".
The human brain has two sides — the rider is the rational mind, and the elephant is the emotional mind.
The prefrontal cortex(the rider) is responsible for making plans, problem-solving and decision-making. It is continuously creating strategies to improve your future life.
Similarly, the other part of the brain is the amygdala(the elephant). It is responsible for detecting a threat, emotional responses like fear and anger, and behavioural responses like eating, drinking and mating.
The elephant part focuses on enjoyment. It wants to live in the present. It wants to enjoy playing video games, watching Netflix, and eating sweet foods.
It hates doing things that have no immediate benefits. It is strong but needs direction.
You might think that rider is smart. It can make plans, create strategies and solve complex problems. So, it can easily control your actions and habits. However, the truth is your emotions control your actions.
Most of the time in your life, you don't act logically. You act emotionally.
If people were acting logically, no one would fight for wrong parking. There is another place you can park.
No one would argue with strangers on online forms. You don't benefit anything by proving your point.
No one would bet their life savings on shitcoins.
But most people do these things.
We do it because our emotional side controls our actions.
Think about it; if you are feeling lazy and there is work to be done, the logical thing would be to start and complete the work.
Even if you do 20% of your work, it is better than doing nothing.
But your elephant mind controls your behaviour. Instead of doing your work, you watch a series or play video games.
Another example is your eating habits. Avoiding cookies will be the rational choice if you want to get healthy. However, if you feel stressed about your weight, you eat cookies.
Similarly, sticking to your budget would be rational if you are in debt. But you go on a shopping spree and get into more debt.
The Elephant Wants Instant Gratification.
The elephant part of your brain acts on instant gratification. It doesn't understand the concept of delaying gratification.
You delay gratification so that you can enjoy greater rewards in the future.
You exercise today to become fit in the future. Doing exercise won't have an immediate benefit. But in the long term, it is pretty beneficial.
A small amount of savings won't help you in the next month. You save and invest to be more financially strong five years from now.
The concept of delaying gratification is that you enjoy more significant rewards in the future by avoiding small pleasures today.
But your emotional brain doesn't understand this.
Most plans fail because of the conflict between the two parts of your brain. The execution becomes difficult because of the elephant and rider work against each other.
Instead of forcing changes by suddenly trying to pick up new habits and behaviours, you have to influence your elephant brain.
How To Make Habits Stick?
Suppose you have built a behaviour of spending your evenings lazily, watching Netflix series or a movie. In that case, your behaviour becomes more robust with each repetition.
It's challenging to go from watching Netflix daily to creating a new habit of writing daily.
Your behaviour is built because you repeated that routine for months, maybe years. It won't change in a day or week.
It will take months to change.
If you try to make sudden changes, eventually, you will slip back into your old habits because your old behaviour has become quite robust.
However, your new behaviour will build up with time if you start with incremental changes. With more repetitions, it will get stronger.
It will take time and effort to strengthen your new routines.
In the beginning, you must put a lot of effort into changing your behaviour. Once you have adopted a little bit, it becomes manageable from there.
You don't need a monumental effort to break bad habits or an elaborate plan to make new good habits. You have to start with a little consistent effort. You have to shrink the change for it to work.
For example, when you put too much money into a new investment, it makes you anxious.
A slight movement upwards makes you happy. A small movement downwards makes you stressed.
So, it's better to dip your toes first. Instead of losing a lot of money on something you don't understand or know about, it's better to invest small and lose small if things don't work out.
Similarly, when you try to create a new habit, start small. With consistent efforts → build it big.
The more you repeat a behaviour, the stronger it becomes.
So, repeat a behaviour/habit you want to adopt.
I prefer goals (realistic, measurable and time-limited) to resolutions. Goals (with those other elements present) are more attainable as they provide more momentum.
This is a good post, thanks for sharing it.
Thanks a lot for reading and curating my post.
It motivates me to write more. Thankyou🙂
Old habits die hard. But for someone who is goal oriented it shouldn't be had for you to focus in what's right. Besides you'll enjoy it in the end