And I began to practice the art of visiting people with gifts. This could be events like birthday parties or just family invites. My most recent home invite was from a young family that wanted to honor me for supporting them during their wedding program by inviting me for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, I had an Eva fruit drink, which I nearly wrapped and went with. It was not much of a gift, but they appreciated that I didn't come empty handed. And of course, I ate confidently, knowing I had given something in return even though they would not have complained.
I grew up with the mindset of giving selflessly. I remember my best friend wishing she was born into our family because she wanted to enjoy the selfless giving we practice both as a culture and family traditions when she saw the trait of giving run through everyone within our nuclear family without boundaries.
Of particular interest is my younger sister, Jumai. She can literally gift the world to anyone that crosses her path, including strangers. Personally, when I come home visiting, she believes and ensures that I do not leave the house empty-handed. A particular day when I came home with my friend, Jumai was surprisingly worried as to what gift to give my friend because she had practically nothing at home to give. Oftentimes, she had drinks or snacks that she served or squeezed into the hands of the visitor who could not wait. What she does is buy drinks, such as Coke or fruit drinks, occasionally and have them handy as gifts she can give people that come visiting. This makes her perceived as a mother, willing to spread her arms to accommodate all.
The problem, however, with gifts is that recipients are likely to see them as an obligation rather than a privilege from the giver. When they know you have a soft heart like my sister's, they'll probably ask for gifts even when she has not offered. The art of gifting was soon abused. This became the case in her workplace, as her colleagues often flooded her with what they'd get from her. And of course, she gradually got weighed down and has begun to tune down a little.
Though we all give gifts in the family, my sister took this to a higher level. I wouldn't know if it was because she was younger and maybe naive or because she naturally inherited the gifting trait from the family as practiced by her older siblings and parents. But now that she's more mature and in her third decade, the weight of her selfless giving has taught her to be more intentional. I remember cautioning and discussing one-on-one with her about her spontaneous and uncontrolled heart for giving. It was as though I was telling her not to be herself again. Gladly, she reduced when I advised her not to give out of compulsion but mostly out of convenience. She still gifts, but not uncontrolled or spontaneous any longer and does not feel weighed down unnecessarily and now, she is able to channel her resources into other things.
I'm happy your sister was able to tune down the gift giving and still maintain the part of her that wanted to give in the first place.
I know selfless people like her that give out of a kind heart and a need to put smiles on people's faces. Unfortunately, there are people that would neglect the kind gesture and would only take advantage of it.
At the end of the day, everything is best done in moderation.
Nicely written.
You're very apt. People are lurking around to take advantage of such kind hearts
Thank you very much, do have a great week
It's good she is able to tune it down. Most people take advantage of her giving nature and starts exploiting her because of what they can get.
Giving should be from one's heart and should not cause any form of pain or discomfort to both the giver and receiver.
Thank you very much. You're right. We have people that prey on one's soft nature