Virgin Valley
I live in "Happy Valley", a very strange little place where virgins abound and marriage is celebrated.
But sex is not.
These poor boys, they jump into the marital vow thinking they gunna get some. Only to find out that their new bride has emotional maintenance, maternal expectations, religious conditioning that keeps her from opening her legs, even though it's allowed now, and a strong aversion to being "naughty" or "porny" or "horny."
To the terrible detriment of the happiness of the marriage, these unlucky saps learn they got one thing coming. And it ain't their wife. Some of them get lucky. Some of the girls do too. Maybe he gets a little cum slut. Or she gets a fuck god, who is emotionally "available" and likes to make her happy, knows how to be vulnerable, and cares about her as a person. And he gets a daily BJ.
But in most cases, the guys thought they were gunna get pussy all day long, and instead they got "honey do" lists and "be a better man" and "make more money" and "make me babies."
When really, they just need a good fucking! And now they're locked in. For life. Sigh.
I am of the very strong mind that our young ladies, especially our delicious little tarts who are saving themselves for marriage, ought to get out there and open up a little bit -- both figuratively and physically.
(img src pixabay)
Sex Deprived
Instead, we've got sex-starved boys, swiping violently through Tinder, hoping to catch a girl who will give them a BJ, and failing to make any real connections. They both want sex. They both want emotional connection. There needs to be both, to get both and give both successfully.
And I think the first place we oughta start is by outlawing virginity. My god. Talk about slut shaming! We should be teaching our young women how to orgasm, how to make a man orgasm, how to find pleasure in it, and find pleasing in giving it, how to be proud of one's pussy parts, and other people's parts, and learn how to give good oral sex.
We should be encouraging them to watch porn, and to admire those girls for the work they do. We should be teaching sexual openness, as long as it is handled responsibly, both physically and emotionally. And, obviously, as long as they are old enough.
I've got teen girls. Their father is very religious, and I came from the same religion not so long ago. It was how I grew up. It was how I was groomed to marry. I was a virgin when I got married. And I was extremely prudish at that.
Now? I regret this. I regret not knowing myself better. Not discovering what I was capable of. Not having the opportunity to journey through my femininity and what I had to offer, and receive. What kind of pleasure and joy I could provide another and experience for myself. Not being able to know that something wasn't quite right with the spouse, which I would have KNOWN if I had had EXPERIENCE.
I respect my kids' religious choices, I will not be encouraging them to do anything outside of what they choose to believe. We brought them into this religion as part of our marriage agreement long before I divorced him. Just because I believe women should be sexually liberated doesn't mean I'm gunna be pedaling it on my girls.
HOWEVER -- don't think for a second that I'm gunna ENCOURAGE them to remain prude. I'll be instructing them on how to be wise, and responsible, and make decisions for themselves, that makes sense FOR THEM, on EVERY subject. School, career, dress, friends, jobs, and yes, sex too.
Everything we do, as women, should be for US first. Everything we do as human beings, should be to please US first. When we make our own lives the way we want, then we can do the same for others, and show them how to as well.
I'm 44, and finding out I'm quite the MILF. How sad, that 44 is when I first discover my capacity and power as a woman, when I could have discovered it 20 years ago, and made much more informed decisions since that time, because of that knowledge. Our sexuality is our power. It's a huge part of it. And it should be harnessed, and fine-tuned, and used for good, and made to make us feel capable and powerful and influential and confident.
Not slutty, shameful, dirty, and bad.
Sex is a beautiful, powerful, important force that can make great things happen. And inspire men (and women) to be their best.
Here's to being more slutty. And if I could convince this sad little Happy Valley to just open its legs more, I think we'd be in much better shape as a state overall.
The toxicity of the patriarchy is really hypocritical double standard.
Boys will be boys, but girls are held to higher standards in almost every regard without any actual benefit.
I cant tell you how many toxic fathers I've seen try to regulate their daughter's sex lives and constantly threaten actual violence on anyone who would "dare touch his little girl". Ew, gross. Somehow even in this day and age women are still property and treated as such.
Yeah, maybe don't be a toxic father, please. And don't threaten people with violence, that's bad stuff. But then again, if it's a 14years old girl and a 20+ boy with "free" access to alcohol, MJ, and a car. The power dynamics can be dreadful. You wouldn't intervene?
First of all, there is no 20+ boy in these scenarios.
The toxicity comes in before the boy even exists.
Second of all, direct intervention is impossible.
The more the parent tightens their grip in an authoritarian manner the worse the situation will get.
There is no situation where force is going to somehow improve the situation.
I've seen these situations play out dozens of times and real solutions are very difficult to achieve. (but are possible)
I guess I'd say that the foundation of any relationship is trust.
Also, in response to this "Second of all, direct intervention is impossible. The more the parent tightens their grip in an authoritarian manner the worse the situation will get."
My 15 year old is going through this very thing. And the tighter her daddy tries to keep her, the harder she wants to pull away. He and his wife are learning to let go I think, which is WISE. And I'm just there to coach her on how to be responsible, avoid trouble, and choose safe people and experiences. Hopefully the sex thing will not be in the picture for awhile. It takes a certain level of maturity to manage. Despite the monkey urges. Or perhaps because of them. LOL
It is interesting how hardcore dads often get when their daughters are being "courted" as it were. Honestly, I think that's just instinctual. I don't think it's necessarily a double standard. I think they know what's going on in those boys' minds...and pants. And they have a right to want to pull the rifle out if you ask me. These poor girls have no idea what they're getting into. Have you seen how primal a 16 year old boy (any boy??) gets when he sees boobies?
Kundalini 101
Hahahah. Kundalini indeed! LOLOL. I LOVE it. haha. Have you ever kundalini'd for real? I feel like maybe we had this discussion at one point...?
This topic is about a real commitment to pleasuring another human soul, as you said in your article the time wasted slut shaming has completely destroyed the libido of the modern female.
I have a deep interest in this ancient knowledge. It always reminds me of the Great Gatsby and how his fluid sexual nature intimidated some people into abstinence.
I don't understand what they are thinking, "Someone did an animalistic thing, I am better than them because my imaginary friend invented by Jude and Abraham told me so"?????
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/337410939_Tantric_Chakras_and_the_Descent_of_Inanna_Bridging_the_Archetypes_and_the_Human_Soul
I absolutely completely agree with you. We tuck it away in a sad little place that requires a certain blocking and coping mechanism in order to keep it there. And this mechanism serves as a wet blanket for what might otherwise have been a passionate, intimate, whole-hearted exchange with another, and with ourselves, that could have lasted years.
As for the tantric chakra, my kundalini experiences have been completely sexually neutral in themselves. However, these experiences have unlocked what is possible in all areas of my life, including the sexual. This tantra is something I believe I may have inadvertently accessed in my meditations.
Astral sex comes to mind?
Was your Ex the reason you turned sex down before marriage?
Nope. It was because I was a VERY good little Mormon Girl. I listened to my elders. I was determined to go to the Celestial Kingdom to live with God when I died. And that promise was sure to be broken if I fiddled around with boys.
I get where you're coming from, well good to see you in the Kindom of Hive.
Obviously I'm not part of that faith any longer. I prefer to go to hell instead. Waaay happier here.
After reading all those words you write, I think your Hell is very close to my Heaven. Maybe we can meet for Tea sometimes :))
Hell IS heaven. Churches and cultures will trick us and tell us it's the opposite cuz they want to take away our power. I only do tea if there are cucumber sandwiches involved.
So we have a Post-Life date already? That's next level :)