YouTube’s algos happened to serve me up an interesting and profound documentary this past weekend about Irish Pubs.
The film instantly reminded me about an old hangout of ours. This pub just one of the many things we’ve lost since the pandemic. It was also a painful reminder of how much more bland life seems now because of it. Of the list of things about pre-pandemic life we miss this was the one that resided high atop the list.
My wife and I had our very own neighborhood pub once, W.A. Frost. Although we didn’t own the particular pub, it felt like an extension of our home. Many of the regulars were friends, and a few became like family. If you start with many years of familiarity between people and mix in a steady stream of generous pours what you're left with are some incredible stories, laughs, and priceless memories.
Frost was a curious place. The restaurant itself is considerably overpriced and pretentious but the bar area was something else altogether. It was more relaxed and leaned more heavily towards substance than it did show. It still reflected a bit of the grittiness of what the neighborhood use to be. What a cast of characters we met there.
There was Don who we called “Caligula”. He was an older gentleman who wore gold rings on all of his fingers. Don swore and be damned that Donald Trump was a reincarnation of the former Roman emperor Caligula and mentioned the name at least ten times in every single conversation, hence the nickname. Other regulars looked after him and would often buy him a pint.
Then there was “The White Wine Guy”. He was a navy man who was already several years past retirement, had snow white hair and mustache but apparently had a wealthy wife who was much older. He would sneak out to the bar a few times a week. “The white wine guy” earned this moniker by having the ability to consume more white wine should be humanly possible. He would easily down a couple bottles in an evening and walk out of the place, appeering to be sober as could be, as though he was drinking Red Bull all night.
Next there was “Chappy”. He was an intellectual of the highest order, very well-read. Chappy spoke very formally, carefully enunciating each word as though he stepped straight off the pages of an Victorian novel. His nickname was born when he casually mentioned wearing chaps as part of a Halloween costume long ago and the name stuck. I'm sure he regretted that slip of the tongue countless times.
“Tall Paul” was a gentle giant. He stood close to seven feet tall and was professionally trained in physics but was also a true musical savant, playing complex classical pieces while he was still in elementary school. I’ve always loved physics but only know enough to skim the surface. After a few glasses of “think juice” (red wine) Paul and I had some great, in depth conversations. I learned a great deal from him.
“The Nurse” was a sweet older woman who called everyone “honey”. The Nurse would talk your ear off. Her husband was always by her side but was often silent. I’m not sure if The Nurse craved conversation because her husband was so quiet or if he was so quiet because he couldn’t get a word in. We raised a glass to her in Frost the night after she retired with more than fifty years on the job. She never hesitated to tell us how far the American healthcare system had slipped into oblivion since she first started her career.
Next was “Dan the Man”. Dan began his career at Frost in the 1980s but had moved on after just a few years and was an old friend of the head bartender, Tommy. Dan managed another local downtown restaurant and always came into Frost around midnight when his shift was done. Dan always ordered two generous pours of Grand Marnier as a nightcap before heading home. Dan was quick-witted, hilarious, with a sarcastic sense of humor. He had no shortage of stories and loved telling us about how Tommy used to jump over the bar to break up fights in his younger days.
To me, Dan seemed like the older brother I never had. Each time he left us, as he was sliding his stool back and putting on his coat, he’d look us right in the eye and say, “Remember kids, every car’s a cop”. Imagining that each and every car was a cop on his drive home was Dan the Man's trademarked method for never getting pulled over.
Last but not least there was Tommy the bartender. Tommy, in fact, was Frost. He was the glue that held the place together, the hub around which everything else revolved. He brought in customers and kept them looking forward to coming back. Occasionally random women would bring him in containers of food and he would walk to the end of the bar and give them a hug and an innocuous peck on the cheek.
Tommy had already been bartending at Frost for decades before my wife and I came through the doors for the first time, around 2005. He ran that bar like a maestro leading a symphony orchestra. His personality and conversation were second to none. Tommy was a kind soul with a sparkle in his eyes, a true renaissance man. He was a therapist, a sommelier, world traveler, master gardener, food critic, and philosopher all rolled into one slightly ornery package. For better, or for worse Tommy introduced me to "the green fairy" a strong (and very flammable) liquor called absinthe.
I don’t mean for this to read like a eulogy because, as far as we know, all of these people are still very much alive. Tommy and Dan are, for sure. We still occasionally get together with them for dinner or a few drinks on local restaurant patios or in Tommy’s backyard garden. We bring Tommy presents for Christmas and his birthday. Both of these individuals will forever remain like family to us.
I guess this is more of a eulogy for the way we were. It was such a comfort and a pleasure to have a pub as welcoming as Frost just a block away from where we live. I can't even tell you how many times, on a whim, my wife and I would look at each other and ask, “Want to go down to Frost for a few?” We miss being able to do that more than words can convey. Thankfully, the friendships remain.
Since the pandemic and riots of 2020 everything’s changed. Tommy retired in 2021 and shortly after that most of the old regulars, including us, scattered to the wind.
Peering through the windows of W.A. Frost now is like looking into a completely different world. New and different people occupy the stools, it’s someone else other than Tommy pouring drinks behind the bar. The sight of this never fails to give us an ache of melancholy. It’s so strange that the sight and even the smell of the place is still exactly the same but it feels so completely different because the souls we knew are gone. It was, undoubtedly, that cast of characters who made the place what it was.
It’s my hope that everyone finds somewhere like Frost at least once in their lives, even if it’s for a little while. It was a rare place that added infinitely more to our lives than it took away. The handful of years that we were regulars at Frost (2009-2020) gave us enough memories to reminisce and laugh about for a lifetime.
I’m convinced that if all of the unexplainable things that make us human are to survive in this next century we desperately need a kind of reset. We need much less screen time and more face time. More places where we're comfortable conversing with strangers and places that we easily lose track of time. What we really need are more places like Frost that breathe joy into the emptiness that so many of us are feeling today before it's too late. Sometimes the best thing for the future is a touch of the past.
Be well and make the most of this day. Thank you for reading!
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Looks like it was an amazing place to be! And what was your nickname, Eric? What did they call you? We had a place like that here. It was called "El bar Madrid". It was run by an old man called Jean. His skill was to tell stories he said he had lived: he had faced lions, crocodiles, wild beasts. It was all lies, but the stories were unbelievable. There was also Beltrán, a retired professor whose wife had cheated on him and from that moment on he stayed near the jukebox, playing the saddest pieces you can imagine. His table, always full of bottles, was the perfect place to cry with sadness. There was also Billi, a homosexual Frenchman who was always on the prowl. We called Bar Madrid "the navel of the world". That's where discussions, love affairs, encounters began; in other words, that's where life began. Thank you for giving me these seconds to remember. A big hug
You know what? It's so funny you ask that question. I was wondering the same thing as I was working on the blog. Maybe I don't want to know. Lol.
The place you mention sounds exactly like our old pub. There were sad cases too. For some of us the place was where we socialized and had fun. For others, it was a place where they would try to drown their sorrows.
I'm glad you took this trip down memory lane with me! I hope your week has been a good one Nancy!
Thanks
Maybe they called you the Irishman or the writer. I hope you have a restful and productive Thursday as well. Hugs.
Ah, your wife looks very pretty in the photo!!! The long black hair suits her very well.
Sounded like a great bar with great people, Don struck me as the coolest my far. Shame it all had to change
It certainly was. Don is a character. We still see him around the neighborhood. He wears a sun hat and uses a big wooden walking stick. I think it's more for protection than anything else. Yeah, it is a shame. I was thinking about this after I wrote the post...even before the pandemic we were the youngest of the regulars by almost a decade. The culture was probably already fading away pre-pandemic.
It's funny you mention the walking stick as protection. Here in Glasgow it is a common, or at least back in the day it was common to have an accompaniment that could be used as a weapon. Whether that be a stick or an umbrella!
We have more handguns over here than walking sticks. It's like the Wild West.
That sounds like a great collection of people. My wife thinks I should open a whiskey room one day. I would love to, but I would need to be independently wealthy enough that I could keep it running whether it generates a profit or not. I would love to one day have a place where they know my name and my drink whenever I show up.
It really was a great place to spend a few hours. We rang in many New Years' there! Owning a business like that would be a lot of fun but risky. If it's your dream it would be worth trying to make it happen someday! It was a real comfort to have a place to go like that. So many evenings we chose that over streaming Netflix, it was so nice to have that option.
My dream was always a record store which actually makes more sense now given the resurgence of vinyl. A whiskey room would be cool, but I don't know if I could swing it. I'm not really a "people person". The risky part scares me too. I think that's why I would want to already be wealthy enough that I wouldn't have to worry about profit. Maybe have some money tucked in an interest bearing account that covers the operations costs for each year.
It would be cool to have a record store with a speakeasy type whiskey room in the back. : )
That would be pretty cool! Brilliant!
He's cute, too.
I'm sorry you've lost this place. I would have liked it very much, too. I do like the movie.
Word.
Lol, you aren't the first woman to say that, let me tell ya. : )
Thank you! Looking back, the culture was already coming to an end even before the pandemic. My wife and I were the youngest of the regulars to be accepted into the fold and then when Tommy retired it put an end to it altogether. The Irish Pub documentary echoes that same timeline too. The culture is in danger of dying out with GenX, I think. It's a shame. Sometimes these things are revived though, I can only hope some of the younger generations see the value in it at some point and it's reborn.
For me, one big loss is that of the spaces that these gatherings happen in. They must have some fabulous vibes, feng shui, magic or connection to the earth grid that makes it possible for the cultures to thrive. Micro-cultural-climes. I love old buildings. I feel the pulse of so many creatures in them.
I wonder what our youth will come up with to replace this, if anything. So much is shifting now. Maybe they will gather on riverbanks, under willows, in the evenings, to catch some human energies. I like that idea. They will meet in nature and drink of mother earth, turn back into leaf people.
This place oozed that x-factor that you talk about. It was an apothecary during Victorian times and most of the interior was original. The bar was out of an old 1800's pub, I believe from Wisconsin and it was installed in Frost when it opened as a bar/restaurant in the mid-1970s. It has an oak-planked floor that creaks when you walk acrossed it.
I hope this culture is revived at some point but I just don' t know if it will be. So many of the younger generations don't drink alcohol and have varying degrees of social anxiety, probably mostly due to too much screen time and not enough socializing. I like your vision of the future. Nature would be a better social lubricant than alcohol could ever hope to be.
Oh I'm so saddened that it's gone! It sounds like a wonderful place, a little extraordinarily (seven syllables, good for second line) bright spot on our lovely earth.
timeworn bar
extraordinarily
vibrant
Just a beginning there, but a beginning nonetheless
I only know what you mention from movies and television series. During my childhood my grandmother lived near a bar, but it was a place we were prohibited from going. There were often many fights there and drunks would go out into the street shouting nasty things at people. I don't doubt that in other places, in cities like Caracas, there may be bars similar to the pub you had in your city, where people go to have a drink while recounting life. Thanks for sharing dear @ericvancewalton . A big hug from Maracay.
This wasn't a rowdy bar but we would, occasionally, have outsiders coming in who were already drunk and looking for trouble. That was a rarity though, it probably happened 3-4 times in the decade that we frequented Frost. The bartender would put a swift end to it too, he would throw them out before any fights would start. Tommy ran a tight ship! Thanks for reading!
It must be nice to have a place like that where you make friends. Happy day.
Haven't been to a pub as the bars in my country are betting rings and prostitute quarters all in a 3 in one bundle.
But In my university I did have a regular hangout where me and most of my friends came to stay.
We were a crew with over 7 personalities and the hangout owner Madam Cooperate was a blessed soul that allowed to stay as long as we want before or after you've eaten.
As we went further in our degrees, our learning hours differed completely.. so much that we were never truly ever complete in the hangout ever again.
Plus the university decided to move her to another corner of the school, way farther and less accessible than where she was previously.
This literally killed our hangout spot and allowed it to be taken by a new set of people.
I still have fond memories of there, especially when I sometimes napped on the desk.
I'm glad you got to experience having a hangout at least once in your life. I bet you think back on those memories from time to time. You'll appreciate the memories even more when you get older.
That is also in making in Hive......our memories of the past are like a vintage collection....
When nostalgia triggers...eulogy becomes a poem...emanating from deep down the heart.
Of all the characters...I find "Tommy the bartender"...the more fascinating one and more lively than others.
And that's the real dividend.
Thought-provoking.....we really need a reset in our inner dimension of life....if we genuinely feel that we are a living being.
Thank you so much Sir.
Have a great day.
Thanks for your comment!
🙏 🙏 🙏
This was so wholesome to read. Each of the people you talked about transcending just who they were to their personalities. It's undoubted how important these people were and reading about them has made us share in the experience. Like we knew them personally.
I'm happy it's not ending on a sad note and you guys still keep in touch with some of them. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece.🌺
One of these days I'll incorporate some of these characters in a short story. It would be a fun way to revive and remember the pub-era. : ). Thank you!
Ironically enough the video on Irish Pubs is unavailable here in Ireland.
It's quite amazing how the covid nonsense, along with the ever-increasing price of a pint has managed to wring most of the life out of our famous pub culture. It seems the youngsters these days have their shebeens in a shed or caravan in the back garden which is where they go to scroll their screens and ignore each other:)
A VPN would be an easy way around that if you have access to one. It's a great documentary. They eluded to the fact that the Irish pub culture is fading as GenX is readying for retirement. The new generations aren't interested in continuing it. It saddens me to think everything what will be lost. It's the same way here in America. The only "pubs" will probably be relegated to the touristy/corporate owned ones. We visited a few old pubs when we were in Ireland last September. One of them was in Dingle, called Ashe's Bar and it's where Tommy's Irish relatives still frequent. It was the real deal. The food was some of the best I've ever tasted.
It seems like you have a lot of memories with your ancestral land, Ireland. Ireland is a very beautiful place. Have a nice day, Eric
Thanks, I hope you're having a good week!
Such an amazing and unique bouquet of memories, stories, and characters. So many small businesses went bankrupt during the past few years and humanity has lost its touch if we look at the "general" collective. However, I do see a lot of souls being (re-)activated and stepping into a position of inner power which will usher in a positive wave of change we currently underestimate.
Beautiful eulogy Eric!
Thank you Krisz. I agree that we're in some kind of major transition to something better right now. In retrospect it'll all make perfect sense it just seems very strange as we're going through it.
Hi @ericvancewalton, what a special place and how many experiences you collected. The wonderful thing about this type of business is that you get closer to your clients, you get to know them and little by little you become their confidant.
I tell you this because once my husband and I set up a "cyber", an internet communication center and we had "star clients", who spent a good part of the day connected and in their moments of "rest" they told me part of their lives, they shared situations of conflict or joys, the truth is that you are there and trust arises.
This topic gives a lot to share. Greetings. 😊
It was an incredibly exciting time. Success was brand new and possibilities seemed endless. It was an era of celebration. It's difficult to go from all of that socializing to nothing, I think that accounts for the melancholy I feel.
I bet that was a great experience for you and your husband! Connecting with others enriches our lives so much more than material things ever could.
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It is true that post-corona the situation has changed a lot and people are still living a very troubled life because within those days people lost their businesses and many Things were going to cause them a lot of trouble.
Do you think we have come back to pre-pandemic life yet? I think we haven't, something missed...
Here in America many of the businesses and services have resumed but I think it's our relationships to one another that still aren't quite the same as before. I hope we can find that again!
Right, I would mean that actually. It seems everybody choose to be busy only with their stuffs.
Life is very short so every wish should be fulfilled quickly because life is unpredictable
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The pandemic in 2020 really changes a lot of things and it is just presently now I will say the world seems to be recovering from the pandemic
Absolutely.