Had coffee with my buddy T the other day. First time in a while.
Met him about three years ago when I hired him to do some work on my house. Somewhere along the way he stopped being just the guy who fixed things and became a friend. Guess it happens like that sometimes. You don't plan it. It just happens.
We meet up every couple of weeks usually. Sometimes at my house. Sometimes at the McDonald's down the road. I don't drive so he accommodates that. Never makes it weird. Just shows up.
With Kim and I being down and out lately it's been longer than usual since we got together. I looked forward to seeing him again.
We talk about everything. Sometimes it gets deep. He had a rough childhood. Struggled with substance abuse until a few years ago. I've got my own mental health challenges. He's a veteran too. So we've got that in common.
We don't always go heavy though. Sometimes we just talk about life. Raising kids. His are still at home but getting ready to leave the nest. That's a whole thing. Watching them grow up and wondering if you did enough to prepare them for the world.
There's something about having a friend who's been through some shit. You don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to pretend everything's fine. You can just be honest. Talk about the hard stuff without judgment. Or not talk about it and just drink coffee and bullshit about nothing.
We always seem to feel a little better and a little lighter after we get together. That's worth something. More than something. That's rare.
Good friends are hard to find. When you've got one you hang on to them.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using Linux photo editor and drawing and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
That mug is hilarious. Are you careful about where you get it out? My son has this beautiful ceramic mug with a labia on it - it's very tactile. He always makes sure he gives it to someone who's be shocked by it, which is hilarious. He's really subtle about it - doesn't say a thing, doesn't smile - and watches their reaction. I mean it's actually a gorgeous mug and the labia is very life like.
I love the friends you meet late in life, just when you think you'll never meet anyone new worth hanging out with. It seems easier when you're young. My husband has recently foiund a firm friend and it's really a blessing. I'm so glad.
Nope, I whip it out whenever I feel like. LOL
I think that mug of your son's sounds so funny.
That is good Jamie found friend. You are right, it is harder as you get older.
I agree. As long as they aren't trying to stay in the shit and never let go. I don't have many friends here who have really gone through stuff that I can talk to, so it gets a bit lonely.
Informal therapy :)
Correct. It is good though for when you have those demons come. They understand and you can talk through it with them.
I guess it is why "sponsors" in AA are former addicts too.
I've got a few friends like that. We can talk about anything and there is no judgement. Sometimes feels good to "vomit" out some stuff and get it off our chests. Sounds like your friend is a good one to do that with as well.
That is awesome. I don't have many friends like that anymore. My circle has gotten smaller over the years. Yeah, he is a good fella.
Sounds like it was a great meet up! I try to do that with my friends as well, but life usually gets in the way.
It can be hard when you are working. I know. Just try not to let it get in the way too much.
Thanks, I appreciate that!
If you have to pretend to people or explain, those are not your friends.
Exactly! Why my circle is so small anymore.
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