Losing it all. This is one thought that scares most people. What if one day you realize you're on the verge of losing your business, your marriage, your parents, your lover, your dreams, your child, your money, your everything? You sit still and the ground underneath you looks like a black hole ready to chew you up and spit you out. All you used to think you had is worthless. I think that a lot of people feel like this right now, only that the added pressure made it even more obvious.
What is this life all about? One might ask themselves just that when the final strands of a fragile rope seem to be the best option. To hold on to. One might question their entire life up until that point only to ruminate about it: what decisions brought me here and why didn't I do things differently? What if you're just like Tolstoi's hero on his death bed asking himself:
"What if I really have been wrong in the way I’ve lived my whole life?”(Ivan Ilyich in The Death of Ivan Ilyich)
This is a question we should not wait upon death until we get the answer. I often visualise a virtual clock over each of our heads, never stoping, always ticking, always pushing us towards older age. Towards death. Although there should not be pressure because we do not control time, there should be questions. If you are alone, bitter, clinging to the past and never making changes about yourself, shouldn't you search for the real reason of your misery? If you are old, grumpy, sad and the only thing you're in love with is your ego and the way you control people with it, shouldn't you look behind? Behind all of the wasted years when you could have done something better with your life? Most important, why are you not planing for the future?
Shouldn't we all look up and see how the clock is always ticking? Tic tac, tic tac. Your life is dripping through moments and decisions. We can't know what we could have done. It is over, it's in the past. The only thing we can look at is the very black hole underneath us, urging us to take a look. In the toughest moments, some look at this hole as being their grave or their treasure. Some never dig because in their mind they have already failed. Some never give up and stand proud every after defeat. Where some see just failure and bad decisions, some see oportunity. The experience we acquire is never lost. What do we really own besides ourself? If everything burns down in flames one should be glad to still have the best thing in the world: themselves. We might have to lose it all before we can ask: what did I really had in the first place?
This is my latest article from my personal blog
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I've truly already lost everything.
Have permanent pain, was homeless.. now I have to battle with the state and my mother, they've just taken my money..
I think I hit the ground and it's hopefully not going deeper.. but we have corona too atm..
and winter is coming.
This is fine
Hello! First of all I thank you for reading this. You have gone through a lot and I admire your strenght. It takes great courage to stand proud in front of adversities and not kneel to the ground.
When good times will come your way you will remember how tough you've been and that is something not all can say.
My best wishes to you!
we will see where the future leads
What a pleasure this was to read. I normally don’t like reading articles but this was quite thought provoking. I have been thinking a lot on similar lines and it is absolutely true how overwhelming it can feel.
Thank you for sharing this here too! Love. 🌸
Hello! Thank you for reading and making time to reply! Indeed I always write how I feel and often ideas and dilemmas pop into my mind. I think that we all should take a pause and question how we lived our lives up until now. A lot of things would change if we would. And we do have enough time to stop and wonder, although it seems we do not
Some of us face harder times than others.. a drug addiction, whole family lost to a tragedy, jail, mental illness .. so on and so on. But there is still hope. We just have to be better stewards of hope and let others know we care and that there is help.
I for one have had a blessed life. Yes I had some tough and hard time, but had a good support system behind me. I am thankful of the past, live every day in the present, and always ALWAYS look forward to the future. As bleak and black as it can seem sometimes.. there is always something of hope there for us.
Here's to tomorrow!!
Hey! I agree with you! I think that the right mentality to overcome adversity is to look ahead and to be grateful for what we have. Even in the toughest conditions one can find hope!