Mental Health Matters
This is a post that I was not sure I would ever share. I know a lot of people don't actually read much here on Hive, but for those that do, this may get a bit long and it won't be anything like my traditional posts where I just share pictures I take. I think I am writing this post more for me to be able to keep a journal of my therapy.
Over the past year, I have had family members do ketamine treatments for depression and anxiety and every one of them that has done it has had some really good success from it. I have been interested in doing it myself, but it is pretty expensive, so I had put it off. As many of you here on Hive know, I was in the military and law enforcement for a large part of my life. During that time, I was exposed to some pretty horrific things.
I spent nearly three years at war, and since I got back, I have had a war going on inside my head. With everything going on around the world with Ukraine, Russia, Israel, Palestine, Iran and so many other countries, it has all started to bring back a lot of memories for me. I also have a lot of guilt around the war I was involved in and how the members of the military and the US have been lied to about pretty much everything by our government. I hate how normal citizens are used as pawns for their government and are treated as disposable just so they can further their own agenda and line their pockets.
So what does this all have to do with Ketamine? And what is Ketamine? Well, Ketamine is an anesthetic that has been found to have some pretty remarkable healing properties for the brain. It has been shown to be very beneficial in treating severe depression and anxiety. I was on so many different medications in the past to treat this stuff, but those meds ended up almost killing me, so I started to look for a more natural way to deal with my depression and anxiety.
I found that cannabis helps a lot with reducing stress and pain. I also started using psychedelics mushrooms to treat my depression. The combination of cannabis and mushrooms changed the direction of my life. I began meditating, doing yoga and started to get my health back. After nearly a year from hearing about Ketamine Therapy and its benefits, I decided it was time for me to see what it can do for me and how it will shape my new life.
There are several ways you can use Ketamine for therapy. They have pills, lozenge type things that you suck on or they administer it intravenously. Doing it through an IV is the best way to do it and most beneficial.
IV Ketamine Therapy is done in a series of six treatments over a three week period. It is done like that so that the ketamine gets built up in your system and stays with you over an extended period.
I was pretty nervous about what to expect during my first treatment. Ketamine is a dissociative drug, meaning that it can make you feel outside of your body. It can be pretty overwhelming for some people. It can also make you hallucinate while you are under and I wasn't sure what would come up. I've seen a lot of death and destruction in my life and didn't want to just haven an hour of horror.
So as they were hooking up my IV, I was pretty scared because I knew that this was a journey I was about to go on and I had no control over it. Music is an important part of the therapy and it can help guide the session. I had put together a playlist of meditative type music that has a lot of Japanese flutes and flowing water. So I put my headphones and waited for the medicine to kick in.
The first five minutes or so, I felt pretty normal and was just listening to my music. Then I began to feel my body slowly fade away. I was reclined in a comfy chair and had an eye mask on. It started to feel like I was being pulled down under water, but everything was black under my eye mask. It is hard to explain the feeling, but if you have ever seen the movie Get Out, it is a lot like how when he was being pulled into the sunken place.
It wasn't scary like on Get Out. It was actually pretty peaceful. Having an intention for the session is also important. My intention was "Release". I wanted to release all of the guilt associated with what I had gone through and been a part of. So I just kept reminding myself that I was fine and that this was all part of the process.
The session lasts about an hour and it is hard to keep track of everything that happens during that time. Time gets really weird and all my music started to blend together. My wife has done this treatment before and she gets really strong visuals, but I didn't really have any visuals. Instead of seeing things, I "felt" them. It is hard to describe. For a while, I felt like I was just a gas floating through the cosmos. I guess you could say that I was feeling my soul flying around because my body was totally gone.
I began to feel like I was the different elements. I was floating around as air, I was a river and I was the earth. I felt connected to everything. I remember thinking how weird it was that I didn't feel like fire, but I wonder if it was because fire is a destructive force and I was releasing the feelings of destruction, but who knows, brains are weird.
I started to feel like I was a seedling in the dirt. It was weird because I couldn't "see" it, but I felt it. I grew roots and began to spread up out of the dirt and sprouted up. I was the sunrise and the clouds. I think that my brain was telling me that I was becoming new.
I slowly started to feel my body coming back. It was such a great experience. The entire time, I just remember feeling connected and at peace. I remember thinking to myself, "What was I so worried about? This isn't scary at all".
Overall, it was a pretty positive experience and I can't wait to continue the series and see what this treatment can do for my quality of life. Ketamine therapy has changed so many people's lives for the good. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes me.
First of all, I wish you the best of luck with the battles you're going through. I know it might sound like nothing, but posting about your journey and challenges might help someone out here, so post when you feel like not keeping it in and putting them out there.
It is incredibly valuable for me to read about the first hand experience. Ketamine clinics, let alone ketamine therapy, is not legal in most of the world. Ketamine in high doses for anaesthesia is legal almost everywhere. I remember reading about ketamine nasal sprays - they also had a positive effect on depression and ptsd, over a longer period of time.
Ketamine therapy has shown promising results when done under proper supervision and by professionals. I hope you feel better and better with the upcoming sessions. I know I will be eagerly waiting to read how it makes you feel.
I hope that one day these substances can be used worldwide to heal people. We've been trained to think that pills are the answer, but in actuality they are killing people and altering their minds to the point where there is no recovering from them.
Awesome write up about your ketamine therapy session.
I have heard some positive things recently about this form of mental health treatment and find it very intriguing that these methodologies are finding their way into the western medicine culture.
When reading about the elements, my thinking went to the lack of fire being your dominant force that potentially needs balancing, and then you said something along those lines after the thought came so there might be something to that.
How extreme was the feeling of time distortion? Was time longer at times or shorter feeling? Did the experience feel like an hour or longer/shorter?
It's hard to explain how time felt. It didn't feel linear at all. It felt like I was in there for a really long time and at the same time not a lot of time. It's a really interesting process. I do remember feeling that time doesn't really matter and that we all exist forever and that our bodies are temporary.
That's really profound. Time distortion is wild, I'll never forget spending a few hours inside of less than one minute. :D
Really glad to hear you found this treatment and it has piqued my interest a bit more in potentially trying it as well.
I am pretty excited for this journey. I hope you are able to try it out if you decide it is something you want to pursue. These drugs work wonders in clinical settings.
Natural remedies and self-education work really frikn good together. It sounds like healing is happening too. Bonus!
I get juiced hearing about success. Thanks for that, excitement is a welcome thing.
Thanks for stopping by man. It's gonna be an exciting journey.
I hope it helps you. It was an interesting read and valuable for me as I don't know anyone who's been through such treatment. Get well as health is the most important thing one can have.
Thank you. This will be quite the journey, that's for sure.
You used to get it instead of Ecstasy in clubs in the late 90s' if you were unlucky!
That would be crazy to try and do anything while on Ketamine. I'm glad I was in a clinical setting and not at a club.
I hear it's unpleasant. Whenever I got pills they seemed good. It was a long time ago.
Club drugs are scary man.
Special K (Ketamine) used to be an animal medicine at Vets. In the 90s i had friends that would do massive amounts frequently. Having a bad trip they called falling into a K hole. They said it was like continually falling into your grave and a dark hole... but there was no ground so you just kept falling and falling. I passed on the opportunity back then. hahaha
Sounds like an interesting approach to medicinal applications in this type of usage in that kind of environment.
Ya, I've heard of people using this as a party drug and I don't see the appeal for using it in that setting. I like to have control of myself when I am out in public.
I agree. This was usually just a couple of dudes trying it out at a smaller get together on the weekends. One of the dudes was a DJ so he couldn't party too hard when he had to work... so he made up for lost time at our gatherings. hahaha
Glad to hear that all your wholistic and alternative approaches to your health have been helping your journey and struggles browski!
Interesting read. Never knew stuff like this existed and this is actually amazing as it helps make living better, having all that baggage and bottling it up can be hard. I'm hoping this treatment does so much good for your mental health.
I hope so too. Thanks for stopping by.
That sounds so amazing! So glad to hear there are options such as this being made to people. Drugs like this have had a bad rep for to long. I have heard so many success stories with treatments like this. I am looking forword to see how it does for you.
In regards to all the shitty stuff going on, I am so fed up as well. It is just so sad what our goverment has turned into, and it has been this way for some time. I once belived we where the good guys, and thought it would be a good thing to die for our country. Hopfully this shit show can be turned around.
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It's going to be an interesting journey, that's for sure. Everyone that I know that has done ketamine therapy in a clinical setting has really benefited from it.
Thank you for participating in this intimate moment in your life which was very hard. It's difficult to forget the past which sometimes comes back to the surface very quickly. In my country all its products are banned, even therapeutic ones, we live in another age. Continue to take care of yourself and the only way to feel good is to also forgive what can relieve you of the weight.
That sucks that you don't have access to these types of medicines. I really think that some countries governments don't let people heal with these medicines because they want to continue to control them.
Yes your thinking is very correct
I'm glad it made you feel so much better, man. You told me a little bit about what you've been through and there's a horrible side to war. War is not like orders from above, but let's put that aside.
I hope you can feel completely cleansed at the end of the Ketamine treatment. There may not be many readers on Hive but this fellow always enjoys reading your posts.
I hope so too man. I feel pretty good still and I am going in today for my second treatment. I am hopeful that this is going to be good for me in the long run.
Sorry about your experience. I can imagine someone spending years at war, even though the person is out of it, it will still be ringing in his head and that is just what happened to you
Sorry about it and I'm sure you'd be fine in no time. Just visit the therapist regularly and stay away from posts about wars
Sounds pretty intense. Thank you for sharing. I know it doesn't always feel like people read anything here on Hive. I find most of my rewards come from hive-auto subscriptions, but this kind of content is what makes Hive amazing. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks man. It is an interesting journey, that's for sure. Round two is in about five hours from now.
Just like when a person works for a whole week, if he does not take a day off, he will go into depression and in the next life he will have to face many problems, so it is better that a person one should visit such a beautiful and scenic place on vacation after few months.
At least you are aware of your problems, therefore you will heal. I think everything is connected, both in the small and in the big. It would have been much worse if you were a Zombie without rescue.
I think that's how many people in society feel, damn it.
The best remedy is to take a joint. You seem to have writing talent, take a joint and sign off dear!! I paint myself!
It hurts to live, ease the pain......
Mental health truly matters
Yup
Glad you are finding some good forms of therapy. I can only imagine what you have seen out there. Hope the Ketamine helps, and glad cannabis has been a tried and true form of relief for you.
Good luck man
Amigo , la mejor terapia es la búsqueda de Dios , y te entiendo pues yo he atravesado Desiertos similares y después de usar muchos tipos de drogas decidí vivir una vida sana y tranquila sin ver mucho hacia atrás ni pensar mucho...gracias por compartir tu experiencia eres un valiente y eso se respeta.
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