Not too long ago I wrote a post about a three-gun shooting competition I was asked to compete in by a friend; he asked me to shoot for him as a sponsored shooter to promote his business. If you're keen you can read about it here. I promised to write about it but I haven't been able to find the motivation.
As you may read in the linked post above I take my responsibilities seriously and when someone pays me to compete I feel the need to perform. I knew I'd be that way so said no initially however caved in and said yes because he nagged me, and he's a good mate.
I had several weeks to sharpen up and got right into it training to do so. I had a less than ideal lead-in though as I had an operation and had to recover through some reasonably serious complications. I pushed on though and arrived on competition weekend feeling reasonable, although running would be an issue from the pain perspective. Liberal [and responsible] use of opioid-based pain killers would help though. I prefer not popping pills but didn't have much choice.
The weekend was a three gun run-and-gun competition involving rifle, semi-automatic handgun and shotgun across multiple stages in the field [not on a range]. It required strategy, accuracy and speed which meant shooting on the move and running. I could have taken it easy, but...Well you know, it's me and I'm not the take it easy sort of competitor really; especially so when being paid to shoot and to represent a brand.
Here's the part where I'm supposed to tell you I won the event...But I didn't.
Day one
I was hindered by the operation I'd had several weeks earlier and the pain I experienced over the weekend plus [here's the shameful part] some reasonably poor strategy-decisions on a couple of key shooting stages. After the first I reset pretty well; detached, evaluated then went back to it and was good to go for a little while...But then I made a stupid error [which in a real-world situation probably would have gotten me killed] and from there...Well it wasn't so good. If my name changed from G-dog to shit-dog it would have been appropriate.
That was day one and sitting in eighteenth place at the end of day one wasn't where I wanted to be. I sat around the fire that night brooding just a little bit - [This actually means a lot.] I wasn't feeling so good - knew I had to shake it - but didn't seem able to.
It wasn't long before I skulked away to clean and prepare my equipment for the second day. As I was doing so my mate came into my cabin, the mate who paid me to compete, and gave me a few kind and gentle words of wisdom.
He pretty much said: Hey you stupid fucker, I don't give a fuck how you shoot or where you finish in the competition. Take the pressure off yourself and go out there tomorrow and have some fun. Dumb prick!
Motivational huh? He dropped it then said, fuck you, I'm going to have a few drinks around the fire. Cowboy-up mother fucker, the walked out leaving me there a little dumbstruck. This was the censored version - His little motivational session was reasonably colourful.
Day two
Popped no pain pills. Gathered my equipment. Cowboyed-up.
Here's the part where I'm supposed to tell you I rocketed up the rankings in a blaze of glory and finished first...But I didn't.
Here's the part where I say my attitude improved though!
You see, I'd defeated myself on day one by putting so much pressure on myself to win - I'd forgotten the fun-factor. Yeah, shameful I know, especially since I don't really care much about winning; it's not life and death these days.
I wanted to win so badly though and to vindicate my mates choice of sponsoring me and not any number of other great shooters he could have used to represent his brand. I was holding on too tight which was affecting how I thought, acted and reacted. Rather than rely on my [not insignificant] skills, accept that I knew what I was doing, that it was natural to me, I was pushing too hard and that was forcing mistakes. Sure I could blame the pain from the operation I suppose, but I'm honest, even with myself, and I know that whist it was inconvenient it wasn't why I was messing up. I had self-imploded...And I know better than to do that!
Not first
Here's the part where I tell you I finished ninth of the seventy-plus competitors. Yeah yeah I know that's not too bad in hindsight but it still sort of hurts considering I feel quite confident I was a top three or four finisher. My day one hurt me badly though and I just couldn't recover from eighteenth to make it much higher. So...Ninth. My mate was pleased...I was annoyed but am pleased now, in hindsight.
I've written before about myself being my greatest competitor and how achieving my personal best in all aspects of my life is what I aim for, rather than winning. I allowed the pressure to perform through being a sponsored shooter, and not wanting to let my friend down, get the better of me which derailed my usually continuous-improvement focused ethos with predictable results. I should have known better, but we live and learn right?
I'm a humble man; I've learned humility throughout my lifetime and I feel it is one of my greatest strengths. That weekend, at that shooting event, hammered the need for it home. I'd allowed hubris to sneak in, some ego too if I'm honest, and I didn't like it and what it did to me. I'd love to blame my asshole buddy for making me shoot the event but ownership dictates that I take the blame. That's how I roll.
I had hoped to spin a tale of glorious victory after a brutal crushing of the enemy, in a humble way of course, but instead I'm here owning up to ego and hubris and a little self-doubt...If there was any doubt I'm a flawed and fallible human being it is dispelled now for sure.
It's funny really...Last week's #weekend-engagement post was about advice and wisdom and I received a comment last night [just after writing this post] from @dandays who said something like: How many times today did you ignore your own wisdom? Good question my bro...Today? None. That shooting weekend...Way too much.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Discord: galenkp#9209
Image is mine.
I'm glad I stopped by here first cuz I've already ignored my own wisdom twice and I just woke up! 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 - noted.
That was a really cool read first thing this am sir and I'm not just saying that cuz you mentioned me and and i got all giddy cuz I'm extremely self-centered.
How tempting was it to post this one in the reflection competition?
It was so odd that you made the comment as I was writing this very post - A little weird but some connections transcend understanding. Might as well give in to it. Lol
Yeah, I manipulated this image a little to add the colours and I think it looks kind of cool huh? I'll be honest though, I think that round no longer exists...I shot it at something's head. Lol.
Hashtag funny.
Gorgeous photo and just your whole reflecting on the experience itself, nicely written.
When I say 'my buddy in Australia' Pura knows it's you. #FunnyAgain.
Pura doesn't need to be jealous. Lol.
#maybejustalittle
Thanks for saying so mate...I'm ok in admitting I'm fallible. Fuck I wanted to win that even so badly, send some messages. It's all good though, more people finished behind me than in front so it worked out. I wasn't too far off fifth to be honest, a few points here and there.
#nexttime
I've on the think tonight...Big move happening tomorrow. I'll write about it for my #whatsupwednesday post probably depending on how things go. New horizons on the...horizon. 😁
You did great, are you kidding me, 9th when you had an off day is pretty big time. Nobody ever gave their first place trophy back cuz they don't like winning. When people say they're not competitive, "winning doesn't matter to me, I don't care if I win or lose," I keep those people at a safe distance cuz they're liars!!
I tend to agree, winning always matters.
Good reflection. You're multiplying the impact of what you've learned by reflecting and writing about it. You may have finished 9th in the competition and have been disappointed, but learning from it as much as you can is winning.
Thanks mate. I let all my sponsors go a while back as shooting had become a job and I was losing the fun aspect of it. That's why I didn't want my mates sponsorship for this event...Took it and let the pressure to perform change me into that dude who needed to win. Made me perform like shit.
I'm always happy to learn lessons; it's helped me in the past and still does. 😊
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STOPWho am I to argue with Aristotle? Or with a guy who took 9th place in shooting (after all, this means that he is in the top 10). But allow me to object (he said, with his hands raised)...
Maybe you should not always fight with yourself, considering your nature as an enemy. And it is worth accepting yourself and improving without pressure. Fighting takes more energy than peace.
You're right, there's good pressure and bad. Unfortunately I allowed some of the bad to creep in and it affected my performance negatively. The funny thing is that I know how to deal with it, how to turn it back to feeling some of that good pressure and performing better for it. I just didn't do it for various reasons and my performance suffered for it. I would have thought I'd know better after all these years but I guess I am just human after all.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.
Yes, it is quite easy to analyze yourself and others after the events, and it is very difficult to follow the chosen principles in the midst of a situation.
May I ask a slightly weird question? Are you really a real cowboy? :) Haven't met them before
The term cowboy-up means to toughen up. I believe it comes from the fact the cowboys of old were renowned for being tough blokes. So, no I'm not a cowboy, I just find some mental and physical toughness at times.
I read this early this morning, then hopped on the Metro and the rest was history. Wait! I didn't comment. I think I upvoted... Now I need to go look. Ok. Safe for the moment.
Dude! Really? Of course, I had to laugh when I was reading this. It wasn't funny, but, I could see you arguing inside your head. You are too professional to turn it down, even if it was right (Who says it is right? Not me!) to do. Need I remind you of surgery and all? No, I know. You are well aware of the hurt you have been having. On one hand, I am proud of you for pushing through it, ill-equipped or should I say, less equipped than normal, I am not sure you have ever been ill-equipped.
You did end up cowboying up and that earned you a lot of respect.
It wasn't until the end that I see you owned up to the truth as you saw it, self-imploding. Honestly, I am surprised you did so well, but, honestly, you would have probably died trying.
I think you did amazing. I think you write from the heart, which is hard to do when it is something so personal to your ego. (Ego? What ego!?) You know I didn't mean egocentric ego, more ... pride.
Congratulations! I think you did splendidly!
I tend to expect a lot of myself mostly and that often means I push pretty hard to make that happen; not just in shooting but in most of the things I do. It's not about winning mostly, although it was imperative I did as a younger chap, it's about knowing I did my utmost to be my best. It's worked well in past jobs, business endeavours, relationships and sport and life in general. It helps me get the best out of myself. But complicates things too.
Looking back I know I did really well and know where I could have improved. Also looking back I don't care I didn't win, or place higher, because I performed well nonetheless. 😏
I'm not one to shy away from challenge; I go out there and do what's required. I'm doing so today in fact, a big step for me but one that is required for my wellbeing. It's a little confronting but has to happen. I'll write about it later, from the heart of course.
Thanks for your really nice message.
I feel like I know what has to happen, but, of course, could be wrong. If I am not, strength be with you and I'm sure it will be one of the hardest things you have had to do.
Hmm, might not be what you think. We'll see.
I was between change in work and other more personal matters. I'll see later or tomorrow.
Lol, might be what you think then.
And 9th place is still a respectable finish given the level of company you were in. Hmmm, top ten percent of the top 5 percent? Or something to that effect, these weren't run of the mill average Joe's but folks at the top of their game, some at the highest point in their career or lifetime, and you walked in out of practice (compared to normal extended routine practice), injured, drugged for half the competition, and still faulting your self? I'm with your mate, let go and enjoy next time around, you'll likely do even much better while having tons more fun... Sounds like my friend's words to me.... Lighten UP! Life's too short to not enjoy just for enjoyments sake and screw the ratings or consequences. And next time, he needs to pay for your personal hypnotherapist to attend and chill you out before the competition!
Thanks Kris, I appreciate it. Hindsight helps me see the weekend with more clarity and understand that I actually did quite well. At the time I was a little bit annoyed and that probably made things worse.
I've been wanting to write about some of the stages I competed in but haven't had the motivation to even talk about the weekend as I felt I'd not performed so well. I'm glad I found some sense and wrote about it yesterday though. It helps to our things into perspective.
I think next time I'm going to get my sponsor to provide a personal masseuse, chef, pillow plumper, gun and equipment cleaner and therapist.. I'm sure I'll come eighth then! 😂
To be honest I don't really worry too much about placings these days although I always strive for my best and that means the top of the rankings by default. I did that weekend as I didn't want to let my mate down.
Thanks for your kind words.
It is good when we accept with humility our mistakes and we can reflect on it, even if you were a little disappointed, being ninth in more than seventy-two competitors is not bad at all, the important thing is to compete, congratulations.
Shit Dog...
You Dumb Prick...
Hey, this might be the only time I can get away with saying it.
Cuz U def ain't none of that.!!
I get your point too. I have been putting too much pressure on myself for years. (On the job and off)
And the LACK OF enjoyment it causes is also very real.
Now got bizzy ya goober.!!
It is the weekend..!
There is engagement to be done, fun to be had...
[Giphy](https://giphy.com/explore/wyatt-earp
I'm often harder on myself than I am on others and that means I drive myself hard and take it hard when I feel I don't perform at my optimal level. Always been this way. Try not to be. Will I ever stop? Yeah, I'll be dead one day so maybe then.