I was recently in Sydney for work and spent a few days with a fellow from Melbourne who also works for the organisation. He's a little younger than me, over half my age, and while he's a nice lad, polite, intelligent and knowledgeable in his field, he's out of his depth within the organisation...and he knows it.
Limited
I'm an experienced operator and took the lead as my role dictates and requires and he was content to play a supporting role. The deeper into the situation we got the more uncomfortable he felt and more reliant he became on me and my expertise. It was also apparent he was becoming demoralised, questioned his relevance and ability and that his confidence was diminishing at a rapid rate; I was prepared for that though and worked towards involving him, seeking his opinion and input and giving him small and achievable tasks to help him feel part of the team. It worked well.
We were staying in the same hotel and had dinner and breakfast in the restaurant together each day. We'd sit from 19:30h to 21:30h talking over food and a drink or two each night and at 06:00h the next morning would be there for breakfast and more talking; some was work but much revolved around personal matters and personal improvement specifically.
We covered a lot of topics and concepts; some blew his mind and some were things he'd heard before but differently and in different times of his life that just hadn't sunk in at the time. As we hung out and talked more and more I could see a transformation in him, maybe I should say, a realisation, as I could see the concepts were beginning to make sense, the dots were connecting and at the same time his thoughts and attitudes were changing...or at least expanding to cover more ground...a paradigm shift.
Limitless
The lack of confidence and doubt was replaced with motivation to seek greater understanding of how he could shape himself, build on existing skills and work towards better outcomes.
I saw the spark of ambition push the sense of irrelevance away and feed the determination to be a better version of himself personally and professionally.
I saw a young lad who, due to a few small conversations and concepts, seemed ready and willing to begin a new journey that would carry forward for years to come should he work hard enough to develop it...and I saw myself in him as well; I was where he is now many years ago.
The fellow doesn't yet know he's kicked a hornet's nest meaning he doesn't understand just what lies ahead, the difficulties, challenges and complexities of the journey he wants to take...but he sees the opportunities, benefits and better life that's possible; above all, he understands that he is only limited by himself...and that his potential growth and development is limitless. That's cool right? It'll make his journey more effective.
As a senior member within my organisation it's my obligation to lead those less skilled or experienced and to help them develop into what will become the next generation, the future, of the organisation. Some are malleable and easily developed because they want to be (like the lad I mention here) and others are not so easily worked with or are reluctant to show the ownership and discipline it takes to uncover the limitless potential each human holds within - this is why some excel in life and others flounder. It's a choice, a decision one needs to make for themselves, and from there...well, that's when the hard work starts.
I will keep an eye on the lad, make myself available when he needs me by phone and video chat, in person when our jobs cause our paths to converge, and applaud and celebrate his successes; I'm confident he will achieve his goals professionally and personally because he has the right motivation, a compelling reason to succeed, and I'm pleased to have helped him find the path.
It's a sad fact that so many people don't see their potential or choose to push it downwards out of fear of failure or understanding; placing limitations upon oneself is common I guess, maybe because it's easier than the (usually) difficult road to enlightenment, improvement and positive personal growth...but that limitless potential is always there, laying dormant waiting for each person to tap into it.
Have you got any thoughts on the matter? Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own - Taken in the lobby of the hotel in which I stayed
To be honest, I spend far more time these days teaching other people in my team and working on improving processes than I actually spend doing the work - which is completely fine by me.
I've had some really great mentors in the past... two of which really built me up in my early twenties and made such a massive impact in my life... and I've also met a few people during my career that were anti-mentors, ie, they provided amazing examples of how not to operate, which can be just as important, so I'm honestly pretty excited that I've hit a level of knowledge and expertise that I can share and pass on. I do also try to pass along the soft skills as well as the technical skills, but I truly do feel like my personality has opened as many doors to me as my knowledge.
It is a sad fact that people don't see their potential, but it can really help to set a great example. There's a saying I hear a lot at work - "If you can see it, you can be it" - which means that if you can provide an example for others, you can change their lives.
I'm pleased to see you mention learning what not to do from people, that's as important as the opposite I think, especially these days when people are so intent upon corner cutting and finding easy options that may not always deliver optimal results.
I also see it as the responsibility of the individual to seek the learning, skills and concepts that will move them forward in better ways rather than waiting for someone to come along to guide them; it's something I did quite well and it's paid dividends; sitting back and waiting for it all to happen isn't as effective as leaning into it and making it happen.
Yeah, my first couple of jobs had really experienced teams that really supported each other and executed really well... and so I didn't really know any better until I joined a really dysfunctional team that did things really haphazardly - and suddenly the 'why' of doing things a certain way made so much more sense... and gave me tales of warning to share with future teams.
That's why is so devastating (particularly in the US) when companies do these mass layoffs that tend to target people who have been with the company a long time (targeted because they've accrued so much leave/annual income raises). You have extremely experienced people who remember why specific decisions are made get forced out without any hand off... all so senior management can appear to be doing something to raise the stock price.
Definitely agree that the individual is responsible. I've worked with all types of people - I have so much time for those who genuinely want to learn, especially because I know they'll be teaching me new things in no time... and get so easily frustrated with people who ask the same questions over and over and over without realizing they're even doing that.
Thank you for putting this out there! Just goes to show how we’re all a work in progress, and the right guidance can go a long way. Your colleague is lucky to have you!
No worries, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Such a sweet act by you galenkp. Not in a working business but in my college and in university I help a lot of juniors struggling with their presentation or assignments (the only statement they have is I can't do it). They haven't even tried it and yet they say they can't do it. That's sad for me sometimes.
When I give them some tips and boost their morale they get good marks in the same activity they were not even ready for. This makes it clear that every person has that capability they just don't want to see it because as you said the downward path is easy..
Sweet? Odd way to put it.
I'm a professional business man and a leader within the organisation so it's my job to do stuff like this; I also get personal satisfaction from doing it, helping those who want to be helped, it's rewarding.
I get the impression you also find personal value in assisting others to perform better. It's not always easy for some people to self motivated or to learn the best ways forward so it's nice to help guide them right?
I think both employee and manager are important for the employee to grow. I've seen a lot of examples where some staff were just doing menial tasks but very hard working. It took a new boss to give the employee the right tasks for the employee to bloom. A lot of times, managers are content with the status quo. They have a few employees they trust and give big tasks to, and others are just left with crumbs. But when employees are given incentives, or tasks where they can shine, some step up and perform.
Sometimes managers/leaders have to make decisions that those in lower positions may not comprehend or understand due to not being involved at that higher level; this can often be seen as them getting the crumbs.
You talk about incentives and I agree to some extent, but a good employee will self-motivate as well, and that is what managers at my organisation look for when seeking future managers and people for leadership positions; it's what I look for, and always have.
I agree. That's why I said both are important for growth. I have seen a lot of employees shy away or try to go around additional responsibilities which hurt their promotion chances. I have also seen a lot of manager have favoritism, and choose specific employees that they trust; the yes men. Those are the ones usually doing the projects, and are the first in line for promotions. Those types of managers tend to have a core group that go up with them in the corporate ladder. Those not in the group, tend to receive the crumbs.
I have a bit of the same position with my worker. It's hard though because he has made it quite clear that he doesn't plan on staying on in the organization. So while I can teach him some general skills, there are some things I need to just do myself because it doesn't make sense to invest the time into him learning it. This is really the first time I have been in a position like this, so I kind of suck at it, but I do my best.
One of the hazards is losing the person to another company but moving around is how people gain experience I suppose; I'm sure he'll take some of what you teach him and add it to other experiences and learnings and be better for it.
The only limit is our own mind, what the mind says it can or cannot do, but nevertheless there are no limits. Only the ones we create.
I learned that, and now I know it, but before it wasn't like that, I felt like that boy... that I couldn't or didn't know how to do a job or I lacked the initial kick, the push. I felt like I couldn't do it.
Then, I learned about myself and I became confident, although there were also people who were in my way like you for that boy and they helped me to have the confidence in myself.
A lot of us go through that...
I don't think we can be expected to know everything, expect at a young age, and to ask for help from those who have experienced more, show vulnerability, is a good thing if it results in assistance and a better way forward.
We complement each other in knowledge and that is why it is good to share, so that those who have less experience learn.
Agreed.
Deciding that "I can't do it because reasons" is very definitely a lot easier than trying to push through/work around the blocks.
speaking from many, many, many migraine level headaches trying to do exactly that forever XD
Sounds like you enjoy being the senior mentor guy :) This kid is going to remember these moments in the future.
He was a good lad and has a great deal of potential sonut makes sense to work with him and develop it.
There is a saying that applies to the final part of your reflection: "It is better to fail in the pursuit of happiness than to fail to be happy for fear of failure".
In my humble opinion you gave him hunous levels of help that, went far beyond work issues and was framed in life philosophy.
There is another saying that goes: "If someone with hunger comes to ask for fish, don't give him fish, teach him to fish" And it should be like that because when you are not there he will be unprotected and will die of hunger.
This is what this reflection is about, at least for me, and what you did with him was to fulfill the principle of education, which is to prepare man for life. Happy day.
Cheers and greetings.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Passing on knowledge gained over time helps others learn faster and (often) gives them the desire to want to know more which can lead to them seeking it out of their own accord. It seems like the right thing to do.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, I appreciate it.
!DHEDGE