Mental health issues are the most underestimated health condition ever, this is probably because no one likes to be seen as "mentally ill".
Discrimination is realer than ever
The society is biased and not empathetic with people going through stuffs upstairs. Infact this is mostly why people just keep things to themselves rather than actually talking about it.
They're afraid of being the only one in that dark corner. I was talking to someone I haven't spoken to in almost 3 years, I told them I didn't like how they never cared when I was in my darkest moment, and of course they defended themselves with multiple issues of own, but admitted that as friends they should have reached out.
In reality what I wanted to do was to declutter.
I've been trying to accept a lot of things in my life, and I'm grateful for having to. With each of my hospital visits, I'm grateful for everyday I get to spend with my family, I get to appreciate every morning I wake up, every kidney inflammation that recover, every anemia that gets better, and getting to deal with the "what ifs" thoughts that invades my thought.
Mentally I'm in a better place than I was 3 years ago. Although whenever I look at the mirror, the person that stares back isn't the guy I used to look like 4 to 5 years ago.
I ate poorly 4 to 5 years ago, never took care of my health, but I looked extremely well and good, but fast-forward to today, I eat better, take care of my health, yet I still don't look as good as I did 5 years ago.
There are visible facial creaks, a few grey strands of hair, noticeable facial sockets and loss of chunks of flesh. My beard got thicker and thinner, and skin got darker even when it was visibility lighter in the past.
Definitely not a sight I thought I'd see. While I like to think it's aging, I just think realistically it's the issues with recurrent depression and how I've dealt with it very poorly.
You can literally eat well, but when the mind isn't as great, it hardly effects you well. The growth, wellness and beauty of anyone starts with their mental wellness and not really the food or the external therapy.
A lot of people underestimate how well they need to be for every other treatment to work. It's hard to tell someone who has emotionally clocked out of life to wear perfumes or to wear a smile. Life becomes grey: you're struggling to keep up, struggling to fit in and struggling to find someone who can also relate with your struggles.
Final thoughts
However, I'm lucky that I get to understand the futility of life and focus on the things that matters.
I have been angry with a few people that are close to me probably because they didn't reach out in my moment of pain and choas, and that's probably because I want to make peace with myself as I continue this journey.
It's important to declutter all that sadness and pain and choas as I continue to learn and seek for peace and clarity.
You’re feeling mentally better than you were 3 years ago is the real glow-up, regardless of what the mirror says.
Well the mirror is also a reflection of the effect of pain, and I think it shows as well. However, in the grand scheme of things, you're right
I have read the story of a psychologist in a concentration camp on ww2... Despite everything he managed to survive where others died and then he realized it was because he had something to live for, the thinking at what he still had, at how will be better the life in the future, kept him up and he helped others with this
The mind is extremely powerful on our body... Mental health is not really considered cause people feel ashamed or guilty or weak to talk about it
Somehow I think that no matter how important, we still tend to keep things to ourselves especially since no one truly understands. There are journeys and battles we've fought that no one else can understand except us.
That's true, when I talk about my problems, only the few others that have it understand, the others totally zero
Yeah, sometimes it feels lonely, but I guess that's life. Not everyone is lucky enough to live a 100% great life
One thing that always relieves me mentally is to focus on what is more important, and those people who don't care about me In my darkest moments are not really important, what is more important is me myself and me so I work hard mentally to keep myself going and am happy you are doing the same, remain focused and remain happy
You're right, and your ways of handling it is spot on. Well as for me, I'm doing this for me, and for my peace too, that's why I'm trying to declutter
Yes please be yourself and for yourself no one can be there for you as you can be for you
It's tough, but I think you are doing a good job of overcoming it. In a way, we are all growing, and it's just a part of our journey.
Yes, it's all part of the journey, but it's not always a thing of joy when you remember it used to be better