Love and friendship - two incompatible feelings
Not as shocked as the statement, but it is like this: love and friendship are two incompatible feelings. Moreover, these feelings are inversely proportional, that is, where one's presence feels one, it gradually loses the other.
Yes, I can say without fear of being contradicted that these are the most beautiful human feelings, they have been the support of the inspiration of the most valuable works of art in the whole world culture, but man is such that he can not feed them simultaneously One and the same person. What would be the explanation?
True friendship involves first and foremost a lot of sincerity; The friend of yours is your friend, for you will completely relinquish him; If you have a friend and still hide something from him, it means that you are not your friend in the fullest sense of the word (attention, I am not talking about exaggerated sincerity that is often impudent). Sure, friendship also needs mutual help and much more, but I'm only looking at this basic element. But if we look at love, we see that this wonderful feeling presupposes, first of all, the mystery, an element that is, as is understood, in all disagreement with sincerity. In a friendship, it is not natural to be mysterious, but in love if you exhaust the last drop of mystery through excessive sincerity, your boyfriend will find out after a while that for him / her you no longer present that erotic interest Old and gradually will get bored. After boredom comes the indifference that definitely disintegrates the relationship.
If anyone would ask me: "Therefore, to be loved, must I lie to my beloved?" I would answer it in the following way: We do not need to lie, generally lie must be avoided (although it is Often finds its justification), but in our behavior, when we say or answer a question, it is good not to say it all; To leave room and ambiguity. I will give an example. Let's say a young man asks for a girl meeting in the park. He comes with a rose and a chocolate. The young girl, impressed, will be tempted to ask where she took the flower and how she came to get her chocolate. If he shows up a mysterious answer, like "Ooo ..., this rose I brought you from where you can not even imagine, a nice place to go once and I'm sure you'll like, and chocolate , Mmm ... I knew you would like it, I thought a lot about you ... "etc., the lady will raise flyers in her stomach, and if she is honest and tells her that the rose has a hill from The edge of the city (a place she immediately imagines to be gloomy) and chocolate comes from her grandmother, I assure you that the young girl would remain slightly disappointed, and that would only be a long chain link Of disappointments that might follow.
Lucian Blaga has an extremely interesting theory about the mystery and its purpose in our life. In the poem "I do not crush the wondrous wreath of the world," the poet says that he does not strangle the mystery of the beautiful things he finds: flowers, eyes, lips or graves because he loves them!
I do not strike the wondrous wreath of the world (Lucian Blaga)
I do not crush the wonders of the world
And do not kill
With the minds the mysteries I meet
In my way
In flowers, in eyes, on lips or graves.
The light of others
Strangles the spell of the hidden enemy
In the depths of darkness,
but I,
I with my light increase the mysterious world -
And just as with her white rays the moon
Not diminishing, but trembling
Increases even more the mystery of the night,
So I envy the dark look
With great mysteries of holy mystery
And all that is incomprehensible
Is changing in incomprehensible and greater
Under my eyes,
For I love
And flowers and eyes and lips and graves.
I hope I have succeeded in understanding my point of view on this issue. Love and friendship can only be for different people, in no case for one and the same person. That it is good or bad for the nature of man, I am not in a position to judge.
By Ruslan Vascan