It isn't easy to go against the grain, to make decisions that are unaligned with the group, especially if that group is something we identify ourselves with. When we step outside of the norms, we run the risk of becoming an outcast, ostracized by the people who were our peers, friends and family.
We hear "be true to yourself", but that can be difficult when that truth means losing acceptance.
The fastest way to discover what personal areas of opportunity there may be to work on, is to list a few people you admire and a few people you dislike and discover what traits are attractive and which are repulsive. Often we look up to people we want to be like, and dislike people who are like us, which could explain some of the "opposites attract" reasons.
Doing this can bring direction to our path forward. If we can recognize the traits we dislike in ourselves, it can give us a chance to affect our behavior and avoid some self- limitation and destruction, and to counteract what we can't change. When we are aware of the traits we want to exhibit, we can invest into building them, into growing into the direction we feel is the best version of ourselves.
I don't know what the best version of me is, as it feels like a process of continual investigation and adjustment. However, I do know there are times I act as I would like myself to act and other times, where I know it was far from what I would want to see in others. I can blame and make excuses for my poor behavior, I can use stress and frustration as the catalyst, but at the end of the day, is anything we do excusable, even if there are reasons for it?
Of course we should be able to forgive bad behavior and perhaps everything is forgivable under the right conditions, but I do think that it has to be coupled with changed behavior. If we don't learn from our mistakes and instead just keep repeating them, recycling the excuses, can we expect to be forgiven, should we forgive ourselves?
The way society has been structured now is as a celebration of victimhood, where those who have the most excuses are the winner. In order to be celebrated in the past, it would require overcoming adversity, beating the odds, going against the grain - but now it requires no action, ne response to conditions, no adjustment, no facing the challenge.
I wrote a post a long time ago, one of my first on the blockchain, about surviving suffering titled, The Glass Path. I have long explored the idea of wanting to have an easy life, a smooth path forward, but recognized that when people recall the most influential moments of their lives, it is almost entirely about overcoming adversity, proving to themselves and the world that they have what it takes.
Why? Because we are human. Defeat is fleeting and defiance in the face of adversity is our trademark. The glass path we walk cracks beneath our steps, splinters into new directions but will remain ever faithful to the universe; It will always seek change.
But what happens when we no longer have the need to face adversity, when the incentive shifts to living as a victim of ourselves and our conditions, rather than a champion over ourselves and conditions? What happens when we identify with our perceived limitations to the point that we are unwilling to lose them, as they are a part of us. This makes overcoming adversity a loss of who we are and rather than becoming the best versions of ourselves, we are rewarded to be far less than what we could be, to act and react on our default.
If we have been convinced that staying the same is enough, influenced to no longer strive for better, all the grain runs in the same direction, but we lose our humanity and behave robotically, moving only on the programming installed.
It is an easy when we don't have to think for ourselves and can have excuses and lay blame for why we act and have the results we do - but it isn't an easy life to live, as it is a life of constant suffering, as at our core, we know we aren't behaving as who we are meant to be, even though we are acting as expected, just like everyone else.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
You are right, but isn't that the path taken by the few who choose to pursue and understand the subtle art of living?
In the 21st century, unfortunately, the ego has nothing else to satiate its needs other than identifying with a sense of victimhood, without wearing one's problems and shortcomings as a badge, the ego would have nothing else to identify with. The disintegration of the ego is something am afraid many can't go through with, and their minds know that on a subconscious level and so it is and will always be much easier to seek out pity.
I wrote a post criticizing this identification with one's troubles to the point many choose to abdicate any responsibility.
Great thoughts, I am amazed by how you are able to produce such high-quality content on a daily basis, I guess it comes with experience? But always great going through your arguments.
Cheers!
Not many people alive out there these days.
It is all a consumer can do. Creatives are far less likely to see themselves of victims, because they are actually doing something.
Experience and enjoyment.
You're right, not many. The ancients are for sure disappointed, who would have thought that instead of being more there are actually less despite evolving into the modern man.
I like how you put it. The irony in the fact society never really appreciates creatives, and yet they have the key for others to understand what it really means to understand that it's a personal responsibility to take lead and stop whining and feeling sorry...
Overcoming adversity is one of the greatest thrills of life. I also want an easy life, but am not scared of a little suffering on my way to living my 'best' life
Wanting the easy life isn't an issue - and getting it (normally short-lived) is great, if it was earned. Most people want to win the lottery.
Something I tell myself regularly is that "Nothing worth doing is ever easy". It helps ground me when I'm pushing myself and feeling like it's getting too hard to learn the new skill, do the thing that's necessary, etc.
I've said it for years, and it is - for me at least - very inspirational. After all:
The one thing we can do til the day we pass, is improve ourselves.
A friend of mine was getting ready to run a half marathon and she was really scared about the pain of it and was considering pulling out of the race a couple days before. I asked her if she thought it would be harder and more painful than giving birth to her child and she realized that it wouldn't likely come close. She had already proven to herself she can take the pain of it.
Couldn't agree more!
You made me remember , I want to share this:
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Muy enriquecedor tu post. Hay varios tópicos que me los quedo para mi autoreflexión. Crezcamos juntos...
But it's different if we do the things we're repulsed by because we were justified XD
Reasons and excuses aren't the same :) Sure you may have not done the "right" thing (whatever the right thing was at the time) because you were stressed/tired/whatever, what you do after that's just as important.
I guess if your backstory is tragic enough?
I really do want a smooth path forward but I have a feeling that I do actually have a smooth path forward, I just love making things hard for myself XD
Probably because this sounds pretty boring.
I'd rather wash dishes, than life a life on autopilot.