Excerpt: we constantly read that the number of divorces in most countries rises over the years. For example in the UK, but also globaly. What is going on here? Why people, who chose to live together change their minds and often so quickly? In this post, I am offering an explanation from a consciousness point of view. I am claiming that being married is not a goal but a mean to reach enlightenment, and those who forget that, are called by their soul to leave the relationship and find their inner divine part.
Credit: pixabay
Why do so many people not manage to stay together in spite of increased standard of living, the numerous counseling books and the growing awareness of family values? How does it happen that two people who, out of great love towards each other, have chosen to establish a common family, eventually find themselves in a divorce process that leaves them confused, frustrated and hurt more than ever before? Is a long lasting successful marriage a mystery, bearing a secret known only to a few people?
I will use the following story to present my explanation for this social phenomenon -
In a small country, whose name is not important, lives a family, a father, mother, children, and grandchildren. They all live in harmony and peace, spend lots of loving time together, support each other, gather for family dinners on high holidays and generally enjoy a balanced and prosperous life. Their successful financial situation has allowed them to travel around the world and to visit almost every distant place on earth.
One day the young son, Dan, announces that he desires to leave the family house and travel to a far away country - we’ll call it “Eretz” - where no family member has been before. This announcement made everybody excited and curious but also fearful and concerned for they all knew very well that there are no communication lines to and from Eretz, no internet, no post, and during his trip, Dan would not be able to communicate with his family back home. And not only that, soon after the landing Dan would be so thrilled and amazed by the myriad of excitements in Eretz, that he would be fully assimilated within it and would lose any recollection of his past. He would forget his family and would not recognize them even if they crossed his way on one of Eretz’s streets. This exact paralyzing fear caused the family to avoid visiting Eretz so far.
What will they do? On the one hand, the family wants Dan to have fun and to explore the world; they also hear his excitement about discovering the new land. On the other hand, they do not want to lose their beloved son. Dan himself does not want to be stuck in Eretz without being able to return.
And so, after many thoughts and long debates, it was decided that Dan would travel to Eretz and as soon as he manages to acclimate himself he would notify the family so they all could join him to enjoy the Eretz experience. In order to solve the communication problem, they decided to use the vibration system. It is known that every human has a special energetic vibration, and so, when Dan would be ready he would automatically vibrate and the family would recognize that vibration and come to join him. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
Not really, because the family can only receive certain frequencies. It’s like a TV station. You must tune your TV set to the exact frequency in order to see the show. Dan would have to tune himself to vibrate in the special frequency that the family would be able to receive.
But the question remains, what would cause Dan to tune himself? After all, he would be fully occupied with Eretz’s reality, knowing nothing about his family that waits back at home, remembering nothing about a strange frequency that he would need to tune himself to. And even if he did remember, how would he know how to do the self-tuning?
Facing this new problem Dan himself came up with a brilliant solution. He would not travel alone. His girlfriend, the daughter of their neighbors, would join him on Eretz. Although they both would not remember each other and have their own treks and excursions in Eretz, they still would meet one day, in what would seem to be a coincidence, and right away will feel the special connection between them. The feelings of love and passion towards his girlfriend would guide Dan, step by step, to remember his true identity, true self, and eventually to vibrate at the frequency that would send a call to the family. Then they would all reunite.
The most important thing that would happen to Dan in Eretz – and indirectly to his girlfriend – would be the potent remembering of his connection with the homeland, with family, with something much bigger than the Dan who travels in Eretz. He would understand that his relationship with his girlfriend – and with all the girls that he would meet in Eretz – would have served him as a tool to unite between the worlds, his home-world and Eretz. With this reunion, Dan would fulfill his destiny.
Credit: pixabay
This was the story and now its moral.
People search for a loving relationship, for their twin soul, and expect to live a loving and happy life. But they forget that that romantic relationship is only a mean, not the goal.
Relationships are the mean that the individuals, men or women, use in order to evoke within them a greater consciousness, a recollection of their true self, a vibration of completeness that would invite in their expanded identity – their divine self – and allow it to manifest in the physical plain.
The beginning is always promising. A man and a woman fall in love with each other, commit to a life of sharing and love and then rest on their laurels. "That’s it, we made it", they say! As far as they are concerned mission is accomplished. “We have found partners”, they say; “We are in a loving and supporting relationship, and now we can move on to accomplish our next goals, be it offspring, career or just living”.
But they are wrong. Relationships are not the goal. Hence, within a short time - and in the recent years this “time” period has become shorter and shorter – they begin to feel that something is missing. And indeed, something is missing. They are missing! Their expanded self is missing. They ignore it; it feels betrayed, neglected, and undesired.
Why is it a surprise that your partners cheat on you? you have cheated on yourself long before that, you have neglected your inner self, turned your back to the deep commitment to invite it to you, here, to experience together the physical world.
The divorce rate will continue to grow as long as people continue to ignore that deep call from within, that old commitment to themselves; as long as they refuse to fulfill the necessary condition for a successful relationship – developing a close and intimate relationship with themselves, with their broader consciousness. Refusing to follow the next evolutionary step is an ostrich policy. If you enjoy going through life while your heads are deeply stuck in the sand then carry on, but know that you miss everything. When you create and strengthen your intimate connection with yourself then a loving relationship with a man or a woman would easily and quickly come to you.
And so, how to develop such relationship with the self?
Here are some elementary guidelines:
- Choose– first and foremost you should begin with the personal choice to grow, to flourish, to expand, to know and to experience more than your human self. This is a daily choice.
- Invite– just as you invite guests to special events, invite your inner self to take part in your daily routine life.
- Get out of the duality – refrain from jumping from one drama to the next. The drama takes you off track and off a balanced status that is required for the expansion of your awareness.
- Live in the now moment – people have the inclination to be nostalgic or to sail away towards future fantasies. Refrain from doing that. Your reality is here, in the present, where all potentials exist effortlessly. If you disappear from your present how can you expect your grander self to find you?
- Enjoy your life – your religion, your gurus, your parents, or any outer figure may tell you that the path to redemption goes through suffering. But your inner feeling tells you the opposite, does it not? Trust it. If you don’t have fun here why would your expanded self want to join you?
And lastly, remember this – your outer reality and your relationships in particular are a direct and accurate reflection of your relationship with your self. May this insight direct you always.
the bond of love takes the commitment from both parties to nurture it.
Once again, a very insightful article. I am (mostly) happily married. That is because, even after twenty eight years of marriage, we give ourselves space within our bonds, the freedom to enrich our inner selves in any way that we feel that we need it. My husband and I have grown in different directions spiritually, but we understand and respect each other's viewpoints. It is not always easy, but we manage. Mostly it is good.
It's a rare talent nowadays, to wear both outfits. Yours and your spouse's.👍
First of all thanks for sharing the story as an example and yes in my opinion Dan took an correct decision to experience the one self means here Dan can get the opportunity to know his inner self and he have an opportunity to know his love connection too and one more point i really liked here and that is Vibration and yes vibration or we can call it intuition is also plays an vital role in life because our intuition is nothing but part of our inner self and it sometimes send vibrations in particular situations which can be decoded as an information. And we are conscious beings and our life is individual consciousness and as you said every relationship is mean and not goal and when you make an means as goal then you will move away from the true reality. Thanks for sharing and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂
I like how you connect science with spirit ☺️👍
Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
In this generation, romantic relationship is already different. Mostly we pick our partners not because we love him/her of who she/he is nut instead we base it because of what he/she have. Most divorce cases that I know is not because they fall out of love but because they aren’t happy of the kind of living they have. Sad but true. . Love at this time is defined by expensive things, four wheel transpo and other things.
Let's hope that things will change fast.
Hopefully and a better place to live too.
I want to ask you a girl to fall in love with the guy that the girl likes, whether that is the sign of the man's matchmate. really you think this is @nomad-mag.
Very inspired advise dude.. i will aply it in my life
very good motivation. I am happy to follow your blog.
thank you @nomad-magus
excellent insight,
you have become my motivation so far in living a relationship @nomad-magus
Nice post, nomad. I've always believed the separation was an effect of the law of diminishing marginal utility -- where the longer one uses something, the less satisfaction one gets from it. In marriage, this translates to couples who initially told themselves they'd die for each other, eventually getting bored with themselves. The guy who during the early stages of the relationship averred that he'd fight superman to save his woman's life now doesn't care as much. I just used to think that was the reason for the divorce statistics, and that because we're humans, it was just meant to happen because we get bored easily, even in marriage. The ones who stayed together for so long I termed anomalies in the whole general equation.
But frankly, your post shed light on some key areas I didn't think of. Thank you for that.
Gladly. That's the purpose. Thanks, mate 👍
Always welcome!
Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
great info for sharing....upvote and resteem :)
In view of my statistics is very different from the year ama this year, if this year many relationships divorced increase this year is very much in bndingkan first year just a few percent in this year.
Brilliant..I appreciate your post.
Very interesting article!
this is great for your relationship,
thanks for sharing @nomad-magus
We define ourselves!
Everything around us is a direct result of our interpretation of things.
Great work.
Cheers
J.D
Nobody can predict the future. You just have to give your all to the relationship you're in and do your best to take care of your partner, communicate and give them every last drop of love you have. I think one of the most important things in a relationship is caring for your significant other through good times and bad.
Good post @nomad-magus
a good story in my opinion, a distant family is not good we are on the same clay with other people. what else we escaped from the house because his partner for me is not good at all
great advice sir,,i like you