Enjoy life, and keep living it, and no, it wasnt a hard earned money, it was an investment. Now is gone like many investments that can north or south regardless of how much work you did.
You should have done multisig address so at least a third person could release the funds.
I am sorry for your lost, but the money situation sounded a bit off. If you need money ask for it, but trying to get us to restore your investment is like, I wanna be a basketball player but please dont let me loose games.
thank you