Last week a marine conservation agency in Gansbaai, South Africa, was alerted by the public of a Great White shark - a talking one, mind you - found washed out on the beach.
The town's name Gansbaai is the Afrikaans for 'Goose Bay', and fortunately still kept its name despite the racist black government in South Africa changing names left right and center. The ocean on the town's doorstep is rated the world's number one spot for the Great White shark species, deemed the most dangerous of all sharks. It is regularly responsible for the deaths of surfers, although experts say it is usually a case of mistaken identity. Surfers in their wetsuits look like seals, the main appetizer for sharks.
Of course, people don't surf at Gansbaai, but they do a hundred or so kilometers away from there, and further along that country's lengthy coastline of 3000 kilometers. Jeffrey's Bay along the East Coast is rated one of the five best surfing spots in the world.
Totally surprisingly, Great Whites like swimming far, and so they occasionally glide through the waters at J-Bay and elsewhere for a quick afternoon bite.
Upon arrival at the beach in question at Gansbaai, officials found the Great White to be a rare talking shark, which is something you should believe if you believe the talking snake and talking donkey and talking bush in the Bible existed. It's unknown how many surfers enter the waves high as a kite on weed beforehand, but it helps to make one believe stuff.
Marine life should not be allowed to hang around too long on land, as they disturb the peace and may steal our stuff. It is therefore common practice for marine conservationists to try and get such animals back into the water where they belong, so they can go and eat the plastic bags and sewerage we dumped in there, so we in turn can eat them again later.
The male shark was thus approached, and appeared to be friendly and a bit embarrassed, according to Hannes Nel of the Goose Bay Shark Petting Initiative that assisted.
The conversation went something like this:
"Hey Shark, what's up?"
"Cool bro. If you can just drag me back into the water it'll be mighty white of ya'."
"Dude, what happened, why did you swim unto the sand man?"
"That damn chick on the balcony, man! I was swimming towards the beach this morning, and then I saw what looked like a mermaid about to sing me the song of her people. So I swam closer at a speed to check it out. Next moment I got a clear view, and then my fin gotten stiff, and I couldn't get my turn. So I fapped myself right onto the beach."
TAGS:
#animal #marine #shark #rescue #mermaid #humor
*Cover photo is that of a friend of mine in South Africa that subscribe to a naturalist lifestyle. She uploaded the photo to Facebook, with the latter being fine with it. So don't get your conservative panties in a twist about 'nudity', please, or would you rather like to see photos of violent crime and shark bite victims instead?
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