Today is the first birthday in over 12 years that I have spent NOT in relationship. ...

in #appics4 years ago

... I have been in romantic partnership for literally every birthday since my early 20s. Each January 19th was spent with someone who was there to celebrate my life. I had someone to acknowledge my existence and make sure I felt loved.

The irony of being on my own for this birthday is not lost on me, since my biggest lesson of the last year was learning to love myself. I truly feel that for the first time in my life, I have begun to embody self-love. I get it. I do it every single day. I do it even longer on the days I don’t feel like doing it. Self-love is now a habitual part of my reality.

And the shifts are happening. I can see all of the hard work paying off. I can see my perspective of myself continuing to change and as a result, I see my reality changing in so many beautiful ways.

So how appropriate it is that the Universe gifted me this birthday solo. To rebirth myself with my own love. To be the one to acknowledge my own existence and to celebrate the life I’ve led so far.

And I definitely celebrate this life. I am grateful for every single step of this journey. The highs and the lows. The darkest depths of depression and suicidal thoughts to the expansive mountaintops of bliss and gratitude. The blessing of two incredible women who I got to love so deeply and the incredible pain of saying goodbye.

And of course, the tribe. The friends, mentors, lovers, and family who consistently show up for me. The journey of this life has been absolutely profound and I feel immensely blessed to have all of you in my life, supporting me along the way. From in-person friendships to online tribe, if you’re reading this it means you’ve been a part of this wild ride. I can’t thank you enough.

Thank you for helping me get here.
Thank you for bringing me home.
Thank you for helping me see how to be on my own without ever being alone.

What a gift.
Happy birthday to me.

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