After a hole in my heart and her misdiagnosed cancer in the hospital Charité Berlin in December 2018...
After the yellow jackets destroy French Republic monuments in Paris at the same time...
After the reunification of East and West Germany in 1990...
After the wall of my child body came down at the same time, while the women and children were screaming in the shelter I ended up in in Lausanne…
After the holes in my clothes, the letters, the stamps, the black eyes, the forms, the insults, the silence, the muscle pain and my binded chest…
After the St-Paul's letter** , my shaven-headed, naked, dancing body, my name written on the wall of the Théâtre de l’Odéon, under the neon letters « the world is yours »***, during the Paris terrorist attacks in 2015…
After the letter from the French Ambassy in Berlin...
« Après examen de votre demande de changement de prénom et des pièces jointes à l’appui de celle-ci, il apparaît que cette demande revêt un intérêt légitime au sens de l’article 60 du code civil. Par conséquent, vous êtes désormais autorisée à vous prénommer: Yaron, Yaël. »
After the hole in my heart, I am ready to love my bent body and change the course of history.
After I lower my head, I see the world upside-down. Seing through the hole in my heart is an unbearable change of perspective. I have absorbed the shock.
On 31st December 2018 in Nantes, the registrar signed the sacred document: my birth certificate with my strikethrough assignation name replaced by my chosen name. I kept my assignation name as my middle name in order to build a link with the past, tell my own story and not to end up in a sordid desert because of my gender non-binary body and the hole in my heart. I am not a man; neither am I a woman. While the cis-tem erases my life, I let the hole in my heart contaminate the whole world. I am not filling it anymore. My birth name, dead name, no-name, and chosen name belong to the hole-world. The French Republic authorized my name change in 2019. I authorize the hole-world now.
"So that when the moment comes, I can say I did it all with love."****
Love,
Yaron l’Officiel.
https://giphy.com/gifs/1Yfxu57yZfeho5cCrV
** Primera Carta de San Pablo a los Corintios (2015) Angélica Liddell
*** The world is yours (2015), Claude Lévêque
**** Monument (2014), Royksopp
***** Banana Selfie (2019) & MA SODA Berlin program acceptance GIF (2016), Yaron Maïm aka ENBYX
