This portrait was painted in oil on wood. It shows the late Yogiraj Charles Bates posed in contemplation. Before I met him, Yogiraj spent several years in silence, intentionally not speaking. The man had immense discipline. But he was also playful and always quick to smile. Yogiraj was a unique friend to me during a pivotal moment. We connected around systems theory and yoga. At one point, he went through a book I'd drafted, line by line, making detailed notes for me. I painted this picture after his death in 2012.
One thing Yogiraj was particularly good at was helping people embrace darker elements of the self rather than fear them. His book Pigs Eat Wolves explored this subject for a professional audience. Beyond this, Yogiraj had a presence that created space for processing whatever psychological material happened to be emerging, however dark it may seem. This quality of his presence helped me get better at talking honestly about cluster headaches instead of trying to shield others from their awful truths.
The most important thing Yogiraj taught me was to pay attention to what I'm paying attention to in a given situation. This lesson continues to serve me well. My focus lately has been gravitating towards reconnecting with things I previously studied. From rereading novels or philosophy to sorting through old art, I've been looking at the past. The reason for this is not yet clear.
I've also just finished a novella about CryptoFinney, and have since been paying special attention to my next big project, though the nature of this next project is currently a mystery. It might be a book. Or a website. Or a painting. I really have no idea. All I know is that my attention is there.
My sixth novel is halfway done but the big project I'm talking about feels different than that. It feels like inspiration preparing to strike to unknown ends. Maybe it has something to do with crypto. Or cubism. Maybe it involves systems theory or psychology or any of the subjects I've become temporarily absorbed in over the years. Until the shape of this project becomes clear, I'll just be playing around. And paying close attention to what I'm paying attention to.