It's coming in like a freight train. Chou, chouoooo, chagachagachaga...
Rainbow lights delight if you please. A little bow. Oh yes, that will do just finely, thank you very much. Hmmm, oh yes, that's quite delightful. Very tasty, exquisitely astonishingly absolutely most definitely quite frankly deliciously amazing. Yes, yes, this is good, and good is good you know.
What's coming is coming. It's going to be a wave, an increasingly dense wave. Meaning that as the wave increases in density or intensity, you will have less and less of an ability or capacity to resist it. Things that you will be holding onto in your minds will begin to tremble and shake. It will become blatenly obvious that certain ways of perceiving enslave you, that certain ways of thinking and behaving enslave you. You may feel trapped.
On one hand you feel the push and a need or seemingly unavoidable knowing of what must be done, and on the other hand your mind cannot possibly conceive of how on earth you will survive or function or get through life because of the multitude of consequences of taking such choices.
On one hand you have a practically physical push, on the brink of carrying you away like standing in a flowing river. A part of you knows it's unavoidable. You must make the leap of faith, but it feels like if you do you will die.
Imagine even maybe not so pleasant but a good way to visualise, imagine if you will a tsunami rolling in. You are holding onto a tree, the water is up to your waste and you can already barely hold on. You see that the water level is rising and soon the inevitable will occur. You know that if you let go now and no longer resist then you will have more time to adapt and react instead of waiting for the full blown wave to hit. You could gradually take in the wave and flow with it.
Anyhow it's kind of like that. The wave is coming, it's already here, it's up to your ankles or waist. What are you gonna do ? Are you gonna go with the flow or are you too afraid of the consequences of seemingly simple obvious choices ? I mean if you quit what you do, how will you survive ?
Your mind may be freaking out and then there is tug, a huge tug and you don't know what to do. It's ok, it's ok. Let go when you are ready. If you never get ready, then don't worry, it's not like you have a choice in the matter. It's happening. Your only choice is whether or not you are gonna fight it or not. It's too strong.
From the bigger picture point of view you want this, this is why you're hear. You already made the choice, you only need to recognise that. You already made the choice, you already made the choice.
Whatever is going on in your mind and the issues that you are afraid of facing are inconsequential in contrast to the bigger picture. Forget all that, you want this, you want it, you chose it. Stop freaking out, everything is ok. Just enjoy, just enjoy.