I decided to celebrate my birthday (October 16) at Mama and Papa's so I and my boyfriend drove in the afternoon. Mama specifically requested to have the little party at night. It is a twenty-minute drive from the city, a twenty-minute nature appreciation as we pass green scenery, young ricefields, and birds flying over us. I will never forget how precious I felt as the sun greeted me and showered me its gentle light. I thought for a second it shined especially for me that day.
When we got there, I was surprised that Mama already finished preparing the food. Was she that excited? Thanks to her I got some time to relax before dinner, so I went to the terrace and marveled at the sunset. It was beautiful like how my 24th year beautifully ended. My Papa and I finally started talking again after eight long years of the "invisible game". He hugged me like how the afternoon sun hugged the silhouette of trees, warm and pretty.
We had dinner at 7 PM. The closest family came, also some friends... just a little gathering. I love my family. They always laugh at my jokes. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take photos with them. I just wanted to focus on the moments themselves rather than capturing them. I did not even open social media. I just wanted to be present every second of that night.
Morning came and I was awakened by Mama's laughter. She was having coffee with Papa. She came up and greeted me a good morning, talked some more, then she just suddenly cried. Yep. She was in tears telling me I will always be her baby girl and that I should not marry so soon. Moms, right? I love her so much.
Not long after, rain fell and I thought it's a good idea to enjoy it. I did not care about the neighbors. I was dancing and waving my arms, looking up and just claiming every raindrop to be the blessings I and my family will receive in this another year added to me. It was freeing. When the rain stopped, the bright sun sealed all my declarations.
I wanted to stay a little longer but there are things that would not understand birthdays-- a special birthday for that matter. In the afternoon, we had to take our journey back to the city so we took some polaroid photos to conclude my birthday celebration.
My dear Papa. I mostly got his genes, right? How amazing it is to have a photo with him again. I never thought this day would come. This is truly my greatest gift this year.
Oh, Mama. I am still your baby.
This is my youngest brother. I am still getting used to his maturing voice. I also have another brother, but he went early for work. I love him just as much.
The love of my life. He makes me feel that I have this safe space to be my ugliest literally and figuratively. Indeed a safe space because I never worry about being unaccepted.
And this is me.
What I gave myself this year was forgiveness. I forgive myself for being too hard on me. I am not where I imagined myself to be few years ago, but I believe I am exactly where I need to be. While I am not there yet, I will enjoy or at least try to enjoy the bumpy ride.
Also, I really mean this: Hive is one of my birthday gifts... the people, the community, and the whole revolution this platform is doing. Thank you very much!
Happy birthday to me and I am definitely happier than last year. Cheers!
Happy Birthday!!! This made me miss my parents so much. Cant remember when was the last time i celebrated my birthday with them.
Thank you! You'll get to spend it with them next time maybe. 🤗
You're. Im hoping.