Hi @reverseacid!
This post is heavy, man!
A higher level of understanding is necessary to understand a little of this. I know that network systems can be divided into layers, the OSI model is divided into layers, and layer 1 (the lowest layer) is the physical layer, which deals with the transmission of bytes and electrical schematics.
From that point of view, I understand a little.
However, where are the consensus methods in all this? PoW and PoS? There is a speed limit for PoW. And safety or security issues? What about fake blocks?
Another question, the data is stored in another (relay-based) chain. I don't understand how the information is reduced if the same information is going to be in another chain. I don't really see the reduction.
Are these just proposals to improve scalability or have they already been implemented?
I still see blockchain as witchcraft! 
Great questions @jadams2k18
So layer 0 is about to go live on Bitcoin Cash, sometime this May. There's no issue of PoW and PoS as it just works on reducing tx size on the main blockchain.
Now the relay chain has all the information but the thing is you only download what you need from there. It's kind of server based, we don't need to download it. So it's a very weird concept to explain. Like a single server than can be distributed as and when necessary. The software is agnostic to everything. It cannot be controlled or centralised by bloXroute the company.
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The relay chain is like IPFS (InterPlanetary File System)??