A Long Couple Months...

in #blaaagh28 days ago

It's been about two months since I last "posted" posted... although in the interim I've been lurking, reading, and dropping the occasional comment or two. It hasn't been a good couple months away. 2020 needs to fuck off as expeditiously as possible. But for this moment I feel clear headed and motivated enough to blog, or as I like to call it, "blaaagh"; as these freewriting type posts are usually reserved for content that is less than upbeat.

Over the past couple months I received the news that my mother is dying. She's battled cancer for about two years now, unfortunately with little success. Actual treatments have stopped and it's just planning for hospice when that becomes a necessity. While this was no great surprise based on her health since the beginning of the year, it was still very painful to have that scenario materialize in a much more concrete fashion.

A couple weeks after that news hit me, my beloved cat Baxter passed away, also of cancer. It was rather quick and unexpected and couldn't have come at a worse time. If you're not a "pet person" then that may warrant no more than a shrug, and I understand that. However, for us introverts who tend to prefer the company of animals to humans it's a different story! Baxter was my biggest emotional support in this troubling time and it's been very difficult to lose him.


At this point I'm really trying my hardest to channel a swirl of negative emotions in a positive way. I've made the first steps back toward some semblance of productivity... of which this little "woe is me" screed here is a part.

I've watched the latest hard fork unfold, dabbled a bit with dapplr, played some dCITY, and mined some Koinos on my trusty Mac Mini. Hive (and crypto in general) is really in an exciting time and I'd like to get back at it with more vigor; but there are definitely some more rough times ahead. All I can do is try my best to get out of bed in the morning (if I even made it there from the couch!) and keep moving forward. My Hive friends are very important to me and a great source of support. I still see you all, wish you the best, and can't thank you enough.


Since no post is complete without a pretty picture to create a thumbnail, I figured this one would be appropriate to share.


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Baxter (2010-2020) and Bixby (2010-2012). Bixby passed away at a very young age, suddenly from an undetermined cause, most likely a congenital liver defect. During that year I had them both, I was much closer with Bixby and only developed a strong bond with Baxter following Bixby's passing. With Baxter gone now too, I try to remind myself that every loss hopefully opens up room for a new gain, and that every change, even tragedy, is still an opportunity.

I do however wish I wasn't getting so many "opportunities" lately. Fuck cancer and fuck 2020.

But a great big kitten heart hug to you all out there!

- Bryan "the Imp" Imhoff

(I.E.: the guy who will hopefully be back to posting some kinda cool artwork and random comic book appreciation sometime soon...)

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Seems like you're going through a tough time. Sorry to hear. Stay strong man. Things will get better. 2020 wasn't the best.

Thanks @jrej. I've (hopefully) hit the bottom and am starting to climb back up & rebuild. My mother passed away a week ago, so I imagine the worst of my 2020 is over... although I don't want to challenge the fates to prove me wrong.

My condolences Bryan. I went through a similar situation and it sure wasn't easy. All the best to you despite this.

Speaking as a fellow pet-owning introverted lurker of comments, your thoughts on this year and your losses are relatable. Here's hoping next year is better for you and everyone

Thank you. I think 2021 will continue to be a big challenge for a lot of reasons, but at the least I hope it will feel like moving forward instead of backward, even if the progress is difficult. I hope you're doing well!

All fine here. Just planning out my debut here, keeping busy making some nice flashy art to preview

Glad you’re well and working! I’ve got a couple “remastered” pages going well that I’ll be showing off soon, put progress has been painstakingly slow! 😬

Hang in there, mate. [wordless]

Will do. At least I've always got comics! 🤷‍♂️

I'm sorry to hear. 2020 has indeed been shit. Hope you get through it in a good way. All the best.

Thank you. I really enjoyed getting my hands on the collected Phill, hopefully I'll get around to posting about it as one of the 2020 bright points.

I'm glad it was a bright point. I had that same experience when I had my Copper Coins Comics. It has been a tough year here also.

Wish you the best, Bryan.

Thanks Matt. I know you've had plenty of recent trials of your own. Best to you as well.

<3

Lovely cats