What you write makes sense, I know exactly what you mean.
This apathy, I notice it. I want to do the things I enjoy, and it's not that I do them and don't enjoy them, but I find I can't bring myself to actually do them. I spent 1.5 years recently like that, and yeah, it sucked. I sat there, wanting to read books, to watch anime, and just doing nothing.
Exactly. I find that lately I'm having a hard time feeling at all inspired to do things that I have been desperately wanting to do literally my entire life and THAT is what made me sit back for a minute and actually pay attention to what is going on with me.
My husband suffers from seasonal depression HARD CORE and it always wears me down as time goes on, because as you know, there really isn't a lot that someone outside of yourself can DO to fix it... and I always end up completely exhausted emotionally and physically by the time spring rolls around and he finally is able to bring himself out of it.
For some reason, this year I can write (which has been nearly impossible in the past) and I attribute that in large part to this platform and the people that I am meeting that I feel a connection with. It is definitely helping me to have an outlet where I can be real about things like this, But ALSO that I have a creative outlet that isn't being judged negatively all the time. Even something simple like the 5 minute freewrites bring me out of my shell and inspire me.
I'm glad you're finally living the dream, actually following a desire you've had. I do not participate in the free-write, but as you know, I'm a big supporter, because of what it gives others, such as you.
As to the rest of it, I hear you. Suffering from depression and knowing the limits of help one can give another firsthand doesn't make it any easier to try and support another loved one who shares the same affliction. If anything, it can be worse, because there is no false hope to tell us we could make a real difference.
Though we can. Like medication, we can help keep the other afloat. And no, it's not easy. Good luck, Byn.
Well... I wouldn't say I'm anywhere near living a dream... more like enjoying writing as an escape from the stresses of life :) So I guess in some ways it feels like a really really good thing and in other ways I wonder if I'm just avoiding reality. Either way, I'll take it for now, because it's what I have the energy for. I'm just hoping steem goes back up soon so I can at least feel like I'm contributing to finances without having to add a whole 'nother dynamic of stress into my life!
I really do appreciate those people who write and share their experiences because it helps me feel less alone.