I can really relate to mindless steeming. I come with a lot of inspiration but then after I put everything into I feel like there is so much more I could do to find more readers or more payout and get closer to my dreams and start putting more energy and into it than I really want to give. The problem is that I can’t find anything else that I want to put that energy and time into at the moment.
Actually if I take a few moments, I might find that there IS something I’d like to do more but it’s not in the front of my mind (usually playing guitar, being social, sometimes just taking a walk or writing stuff that’s not for steemit).
I’d like to get to the point where I start to feel my inspiration being spent at a faster rate than I can produce it (as I may be inspired to do something else but miss the internal signs due to momentum) and stop there, be it 45 minutes or 5 hours and focus on something that I am more inspired to do at that moment.
You hit the nail on the head with this @whatamidoing - "The problem is that I can’t find anything else that I want to put that energy and time into at the moment."
I can find nothing I want to do more if I look into the future or try and create some sort of project. Steemit seems to be what's occurring most at the moment but it gets sticky and then the feeling changes and then it sort of invades the rest of my life.
I feel like I'm stuck between 2 camps. The "good" people who want to change the world and do "good"things here and not upvote themselves, use bots etc. And those who are playing the game to create income.
I think I probably want to be in the latter camp but am playing more in the first camp, so I end up caught in the middle, neither here nor there, watching friends in the latter camp get ahead.
It's not about the money so much as about missing out I think. It's an old pattern.
One minute I have some sort of strategy and then the next I don't. If only I could just make my peace with that and be OK with being in the middle for as long as I'm there.
I suppose it comes down to discomfort with living with the unknown. Somehow I think that if I know where I stand on all this I can change my behaviour and then I'll feel good about it.
However, writing this down I see that that is crap. That's just the usual wanting to control what can't be controlled, disguised as something else.
Bloody hell. It's so easy to fall down that particular rabbit hole.
Back to the unfolding experiment then . . . I'm not happy about it right now, but there it is. 😊