I'm glad you at least found that and hope you can sustain the use of it in some way.
Sustaining it is difficult due to legalities and finances, but we are at least to the point where you can have CBD legally in NY state, as well as a growing tolerance towards possession of MJ. The VA knows I use it illegally, and they are supportive at this point, because they are taking the standpoint of "damage control".
Can you in any way find someone to stay with you? Lock your sharp tools for you?
I've alerted my social worker of what happened in a voicemail. I am expecting her call shortly, and I'm sure we will come up with a safety plan of some sort.
The exact reason why it works isn't even known yet but because so many PTSD has been brought to a zero/almost zero stress level it's being performed anyway.
Interesting indeed.. I performed a bit of ASMR after speaking with you, and opted to minimize my internet use to reduce visual stimulation. It helped. I am in a much calmer state currently, and the racing thoughts have subsided. I will do my best to get into this soon, and will let you know the results. Can't thank you enough for this.
Some stuff in the DSM that's a 'disorder' is just a spiritual belief in others ;-)
Don't get me going... lol, I'm sure by now, psychologists draw straws when deciding who will be "the next" 🤣
Last one ended in a nice exotic transference with with a young woman just learning the ropes.. Poor thing, I'm sure she learned quite a bit talking to a man like me. She handled it like a pro, as I was the one her told her the transference was happening.
To touch briefly on the MJ again, yeah it's pretty major for people in recovery from addiction and mental health. Sometimes addicts tend to use MJ in an addictive sense, which I generally do, but I remember hitting my head on concrete all the time while drinking, as well as smoking crack under bridges, so I'm cool with a little overuse of MJ..
I had been to rehab 4 times in a couple years, trying to get clean, and started thinking very deeply about "powerlessness", and it being ok to relapse, and surrendering to the idea that I had no control, as well as the idea that smoking pot somehow meant I am still an addict, and of course, I will be an addict forever... One day, I decided that was all complete and utter bullshit to keep a revolving door system funded nicely. A scam in other words, lo and behold, I have two years without a drink, something I couldn't seem to do with the help of rehab, NA, AA. Interesting eh?