Thank you for sharing your similar story with me. It's my opinion that no child should be made to feel pain or fear at the whims of someone else's sickness. It's a sad situation, because it's usually indicative that the abuser is suffering from their own trauma as well.
I really cannot connect the dots efficiently , as to how someone could go from abused, to abuser. (And I'm not saying this is the case with your abuser, or all abusers, but a good amount them surely).
You will be high sensible or even more.. feel situations, see things long before others do.
Do not count on their help, they won't believe you.
I've experienced this my entire adult life. It's definitely frustrating, and a real mind bender when people see you continually predict things as a result of the heightened state of awareness, yet even when things happen time after time , they still remain dismissive, and will even go as far as to call it coincidence, well geeeze, how many coincidences must there be , before one questions the legitimacy of such dismissals!
I do not believe my life will get any better as it is now. I live in a kind of peace with as less people around me because they cause me stress.
I will never have any relationship or family. It is just me in a broken body.
I too have been alone most of my adult life, and prefer it this way, as people cause extreme stress, indeed,another commonality we share. Prefer as I do, it's not what I want, it's just a preference that I feel others force onto me. I have to question my thinking with this a bit, because it's easy to self sabotage, and not address the root of the trigger, or maybe better put explore, as a means of healing.
No one has the power to make you feel any specific emotion or "feeling". It's easy enough to understand, but difficult to employ in a practical sense. I can't tell you how many times I say "Ok, I have this shit down! No one will make me feel angry or scared or, ect.." Then something happens and it all goes out the window in an instant. It's damn hard to rewire how you think and perceive!
I hope you won't give up on yourself though, because this last bit that I highlighted is depressive and defeated sounding, and since you composed the message, you're still here with us. The world can seem like a lonely place for people who've experienced serious trauma, but I'm not giving up on the hope of one day having a companion or family in general, maybe some friends to hang out with, and I hope you won't give up either!
I think no matter what you need to find a way/place where you can.stay without the stress other people give you.
Eventually I'll have my cabin in the woods. For now, I must remain where I'm able to remain, and try to grow from experiences like this one, instead of back peddling. This situation had me in a manic state for nearly two days, but I've recovered from it now, and the neighbors have remained quiet. In a calm state, I look at it and realize, it's not very likely that two drug addicts fighting over a lighter are going to come running up the stairs to break in my apartment. Cocaine makes you paranoid, especially the crack form, and a crackhead who doesn't know who or what is in a house, is likely to go somewhere they know they can rob or steal from. I never robbed or stole when I was using drugs, but hey, I'm kind of different than most people, that's indicative enough.
If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me on discord (same user name) if you have discord that is. If you're in a moment of crisis, and I'm around. I will stop what I'm doing and be there for you. From one survivor to another. Hang in there, we're going to be ok.